best way to deal with my mother talking trash about me?

Question

I am 27 years old, and a single mother of 3 kids. Back in May of 06, I allowed my mother to move in with me to help her out, (she was staying with my aunt) I have started dating a guy with whom I am really serious about and she is also dating a man about a week now) I have seen numours times, on her instant messages with her boyfriend. she talks about how lazy i am and that i am worthless and all kinds of other crap, she also says she would take my kids away from me, but she is mentally unstable to raise kids! The situation in the house is I do EVERYTHING, plus work, I work 40 plus hours a week, the come home and take care of the children, cook and clean. If i rest one day, its the end of the world.she told her boyfriend that the only reason why she stays is because of the kids, if it was just me, she would be gone!! SHOULD I TAKE MATTERS IN TO MY HANDS AND TELL HER TO GET OUT OR WHAT? Among talking trash to the boyfriend of hers, she acts like she dont want mine around!!

Answer 1

You should talk to your mother and tell her how you feel, and don't forget to stand up for yourself! If it doesn't work out, then you're going to have to tell her to leave! Besides, you're the one who works 40 hours a week, takes care of your children, cook and clean, and makes sure that the household is running efficiently. Besides, your mother isn't giving you a hand with the household, so I don't understand why she had the nerve to talk all this trash about you! Good luck!

Answer 2

I would tell her to find new place to live. Set a deadline and let her know that you are serious. Once she's gone, establish some rules as far as contact with you and your children are concerned. If she can't respect your boundaries, then she will have to lose the privilege of being an active part of your lives. I've done the same thing with family members, and once they know you mean business they back off. I'm sure my family member still talks about me every chance she gets, but considering she's not allowed in my house and our phone contact is minimal, it's got to be all the same old stuff everyone's already heard a million times and are sick of hearing.

Answer 3

If what you say is so, you need your mother to move. If she thinks that she is need just so your children can be taken care of then she is mental off balance. Help her to resolve her dilemma or shut her mouth.

In her present, tell her boyfriend that you want her to move. That you can take care of the children by yourself. Perhaps this is her way to keep the boyfriend a boyfriend and avoid a proposal of marriage. So talk with her first so that you don't ruin your mothers game. Perhaps she just want a little every now and then but don't want the man hanging around.

Answer 4

I disagree with everyone who has answered your question so far. You deserved to have your *** kicked. You're only 27 and you're already a single mother of 3. You sound like a complete loser to me, I would be disappointed in you too if you were my kid.

You're complaining about doing everything around the house and working, but that's what you should be doing. That's what single mothers do, and you need to get used to it. Does she watch your kids while you're at work? If she does, the money she's saving you in daycare is more than generous, and she shouldn't be obligated to do anything else for you.

You're a whiny single mother who thinks she's entitled to help and understanding from everyone else, and I think you're completely wrong. You don't deserve sympathy or help.

Answer 5

I would tell her that her help is no longer required and that she has a month to find a new place, It could be also she is setting you up to throw her out so her boy friend will feel sorry and perhaps provide anew home for her, It is a shame a woman would stoop to this level but if she lies about you, you can assume she lies about every thing else. No tell her her lies are a bad influence and you do not want your children subjected to such behaviour

Answer 6

I think you should confront her regarding why she feels this way. I commend you for taking her in and trying to help her out, but she is in your house and needs to respect you. If she can't respect you she needs to go. Do not let her make you feel bad about your life. You are a single mom raising three kids and working full time. I hardly call that lazy. If she can't appreciate you for helping her then tell her she needs to go. I hope that talking to her would help but she sounds unpredictable. Good luck to you. I hope this helps! :)

Answer 7

First talk to her and warn her that you don't appreciate the negative comments and warn her that it is your house that she lives in not the other way around,and if she continues to be negative then she will be asked to move out.But then again you mentioned that she said she is mentally unstable so be careful how you approach her.

Answer 8

Kick her out. She is the mother. You are supposed to go to her for help. I put my mother in a mental institution so I would never have to deal with her.

Answer 9

Tell her to leave. You are an adult and she is acting like a child. If she doesn't like the way you do things get her out.

Answer 10

kick her out! a mother is supposed to be responsible for you, treat you with dignity and respect and she doesn't seem to be, so it's time to get a new mama!