what would you do if u were me???

Question

okay i'm 17 soon to turn 18....my boyfriend wants to have a baby and we've only been going out for 4 months going for 5....i really love him...but he wants to have a kid i do to but i want to wait til' a graduate and i already told him...but i don't know i'm really confused please give me advise HELP!! write back

Answer 1

At first I wasn't going to answer this because of my extreme reaction the question. Frankly it scared the pants off me. Why are young girls today selling themselves so short? Honey..why would you even consider this? You aren't even old enough to vote or buy alcohol..but you are considering a baby? And with someone you have been with for less than a year? I am not being mean...I really am utterly shocked and agape. You have your entire life ahead of you...A whole world just waiting to be explored. How far have you ever traveled? How far have you let you dreams take you? You are young and free...you are only limited in life by your choices. Babies are a wonderful thing..precious gifts...but once you have one..your life is not your own. You can't just take off for places unknown because you have some money and a whim? You can't even head to the grocery store for milk without it being a long process.I know couples who have been together for years...are financially stable...great marriage...and still having a baby nearly brought them to their knees. It's a hard job. Demanding, exhausting, financially draining. Worth every minute, but not something to be undertaken because you don't want to make your boyfriend upset. Well...good luck in whatever you decide. I wish you the best. Honey...don't settle for less than EVERYTHING this world has to offer.

Answer 2

If i were you, i told him to go babysit someone else's baby for a few hrs. and than ask him if he'd like to babysit his own for the next 18 years or until you accomplish your goals. Take your time in life and get the things you want first before you settle down with a child. You've only been with him for four months, you don't know him that well yet. What if he changes his mind about being with you, than you'll be stuck with the baby by yourself. If he loves you as much as he says he does, he'll wait to have the baby and help you accomplish your goals. Don't throw away the best years of your life. I traded in my young adulthood for a pair of Combat Boots. I've been though a lot of things and I grew up a lot but even now (5 years later) I'm not ready for a child (and I'm married). Enjoy your freedom. You'll know when it's time for you to settle down. Don't let him convince you into doing something you don't want. He might not want the responsibility after the fact. I'm hoping you'll make the right decision and wait. Good Luck

Answer 3

Do NOT have a kid until you are ready and can provide for it lovingly. You are at school and so do not have the time to give to having a baby. let alone the day to day care for it. You need to have financial stability, as babies are expensive, and to be honest, 4 or 5 months is not long enough to be with someone to have a baby. If he is willing to leave you if you wont, then he isnt worth it and its just proof. Babies deserve to be brought up in loving, stable homes, and right now you cant give that, and its not fair on you, or the baby. Just wait it out.

Answer 4

You are only 17.....slow down! If you two are really in love then there should be no problem waiting to do the right thing. You are basically still a child yourself and you need to enjoy your life. Raising a child is very hard work. I am a single mom and it is really tough. Finish your education and take time to enjoy each other. If this is true love then you will still be together in a few years and you can have your family together.

Answer 5

im 22. My daughter is one and a half. Ive been with her dad for 3 years. I am not finished school, but I am working towards a diploma. I feel like as much as I love my daughter, if I could go back, I would have waited to have my life the way I want it before bringing such a demanding little person into my life. Every choice I make now in the future has to be the right one for her sake and its a lot of pressure to not screw up. Before her in my life I was able to make mistakes which are a natural part of growing up and not have those consequences be suffered by anyone but me. Also, my mom had me when she was 17, she never got married to my dad, she actually just had a one night stand with him but I know how hard it was for her to keep us alive all those years, working really hard but having nothing to show for it. I feel like I suffered because I had to go hungry at school, I had crappy second hand stained clothes that I got made fun of for, my mom had so many men in her life that Ive learned to not trust men, which is carrying over into my current relationship. Every baby deserves as much as their parents can give them and its reality that you wouldnt be able to give your child as much right now as you would be able to if you waited. 5 months isnt really a long enough time to be with someone before making that decision. And above all that, if this guy is someone you want to spend your life with, it makes more sense to enjoy yourselves together now, you have so much free time. My man and I hardly get an hour a day alone together, we wish we had waited to have the baby and maybe went on vacations and to concerts and stuff together, had some fun before getting down to business. I wish you the best of luck. Please dont have a baby yet. Dont let any man convince you to stray from your own life plan. You will regret it and resent him for it later.

Answer 6

You are right. 4 months and still in school is way too soon. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't be confused, honey, you are very intelligent for thinking the way you do. I don't know why he'd want to rush something like this but if he's trying to persuade you to do it now, he's abviously not concerned with what's best for you, starting with finishing high school. Don't let him pressure you into this, if need be, get rid of him and look for someone that has your best interest in mind!

Answer 7

Girl if he can't wait for you then he isn't worth keeping. Because that means that he wants to run all the shots.Plus listen to your self . You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Having a baby before you finish school is very hard. So listen to your self you just gave your self the best advice.

Answer 8

Listen don't have a baby just because. You girls really do not understand what it is like to be a mom. Look at what your mom actually does for you, wash your cloths, pay the bills, buys food, toliet paper come on, its really not easy taking care of a child. Wait until your older

Answer 9

Young lady ,let no one put that pressure on you about having a baby- Some boys tell young girls this to see if they will fall for this old trick- and leave you with a baby and he moves on to the next girl----yes, you believe he loves you and you love him - FINISH School and go on to college- baby can wait-

Answer 10

A baby is not something you can "return" if you don't want it anymore, so make sure you're ready for it and not him, the mother is usually the one who ends up taking care of the kids 24/7. You're too young, just my opinion.