I have nothing in common with her, and I've been avoiding her. I know my husband doesn't like the situation, I've tried to be with her, but she makes no sense. I work full time & she doesn't work, I go to university & she never finished her school, I have kids & she doesn't, I'm always on time & she is always late, I always do things in timely manner & she procrastinates, I'm more logical and act upon what makes sense & she is emotional and she acts with her emotions. It is very painful for us to be in the same room.
2007-01-29 05:49:50 · 15 answers · asked by Pluto 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dont make it an issue...you can dislike someone without being rude and making those around you uncomfortable...be the bigger person...I'm doing it for the better cause!...my hubbie!
2007-01-29 06:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by Ŗεŋεε 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I think you need to be just a tad more compassionate and open your heart up a bit. You could have simply said, we have very little in common, and I disagree with many of her life choices, but instead, everything negative you pointed out about her, you also went out of your way to make sure you pointed out how you were NOT that way. If you want to make things better with your husband, then you should at least act politely and respectfully towards her. Tell him, the two of you will never be buddies, because you have so little in common, but don't complain about her and continue to judge her. AND every once in a while, invite her to do something, like go to a movie, or come over for dinner one night. Be the bigger person, show your husband that you can add compassionate and kind hearted to your long list of accomplishments and good qualities.
2007-01-29 14:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, you cannot choose your family (or in-laws). If you don't like her then you don't like her. However, she is your husband's sister and he obviously loves her.
You are in a very difficult position. Do not obviously avoid her, but do avoid her. At family gatherings just stay away from her and try not to invite her to your home.
Most importantly, do not say anything negative about her to your husband or any of his family members.
I know that might feel like lying to you, but sometimes you just need to keep the peace. Many marriages have been broken or weakened by meddlesome and irritating in-laws.
2007-01-29 14:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by dragonsong 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we marry, we marry into the family. My council for anyone thinking about getting married."do your research" Make the best of it and keep the peace. Sounds like you have it all together anyway. Perhaps you could help her out a bit. Maybe she needs a real friend. No need to make it an everyday affair but if you search your heart you might find that she really is not all that bad after all.
2007-01-29 14:04:05 · answer #4 · answered by He healed them all 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be great if we all could have family members that we could choose ourselves, but unfortunately we can't. You need to accept that your sister-in-law is a individual, and she is who she is and let it go at that. She is not you and will never be like you, but with respect and acceptance you can have some sort of relationship with her for your husband's sake and for your children.. After all she is your children's auntie.. and believe it or not kids love their aunties.
Try to look at one positive thing about her, we all have something that is positive, if you look carefully you will see one for sure..
Center at this, and pray for her, yourself and the family.. Prayers work and who knows maybe you are the first person to notice her disruptive nature. Maybe one of the many reasons you were put in with this family is to help this girl out with your wisdom and compassion. Love works miracles. Good Luck.
2007-01-29 14:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mari-Mari 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How often do you have to be with this woman? not to often then find a way to limit her time she spends with you, As for the differences you see between you, Have you thought that she sees you as a stronger more supportive person that fills her needs. The only way to stop the milk of human kindness is to sour the milk, When she comes to you for any resason , tell her that you had to learn how to deal with your problems, you have ,and now she needs to do the same, that you have nither the time or interest to take care of her, then suggest some sort of councelling, and direct ways that this woman can if she is willing get help for herself. It is not you responsibility to be the pole for her to pull herself up on
2007-01-29 14:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mabye you should try to be a little less judgemental and try to get along with her, because she's now your family whether you want her to be or not. She "makes no sense"? I'm not following. It sounds like with all of these complaints you have about it, you're making it really hard for yourself to try to get along with her. So lighten up and spread some love.
2007-01-29 13:56:08 · answer #7 · answered by emsss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell your husband that even though it is his sister that you two just dont have anything in common. that you can be friends without going out all the time. Thats you would make bad choices around her because of her lifestyle.
2007-01-29 13:54:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like me and my sister in law almost to a t. i just avoid her and if i have to see her at family functions i say hello, make a little chit chat and move on. she is not worth the time of day.
2007-01-29 18:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by inluvwithb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hang out with her accept at family affairs. Then be civil and try not to clash. Other than that, there is no law that says you have to get along with any one in his family except him.
2007-01-29 13:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by Richard Bricker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋