ok ladies, i have a question for you. my ex girlfriend broke up with me about six weeks ago because she felt certain things were missing in the relationship. i now realize that she is right and i also realize that everything she felt that was missing i also want in a relationship. if you were to break up with a guy and then say three or four months later you two start talking again, and you realize that he really has changed and that he changed for himself and didn't change just to make you happy, would you ever consider getting back together with that person if you knew that he changed all for the better and that he changed for himself because he wants everything in a relationship that you do?
2007-01-29 05:46:00 · 34 answers · asked by frankfurter27 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it didn't work the first time, the second time around is going to be more difficult, if it works out at all. People change, but not that quickly. My personal experience is to learn from it, move on and improve myself with new knowledge about myself and what I want. I don't want to go back to possible harder work.
2007-01-29 05:53:53 · answer #1 · answered by Groovy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess my first question to answer your question would be why did you have to break up to make these "changes"? I mean if something was missing and you wanted to make the relationship work, why did you "not" discuss how each of you were feeling and try to work out your differences together? I guess the key word here is "commitment"...if you are ready to make a commitment with another person for the rest of your life, don't you think that the changes and growing should be done together and not apart? I mean...now I have changed so do you want me now?...what kind of relationship is that...so does that mean the next time one of you have something they feel is "missing" in the relationship that you will break up again and work it out on your own or stay together and learn and grow in the relationship together?
To take a second chance when it did not work out the first time is risky.
Are you willing to take the risk and maybe go through more breakups until it is a set pattern or would you rather find someone to commit to who wants to stay and work out all of the good, bad and changes "together"?
I think I would rather find someone who would stick it out with me all of the way and work things through "together"...but that is just me.
be cool...
2007-01-29 08:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course.
If a relationship has just broke up for reasons that weren't really damaging (such as cheating or perhaps a mental defect of some sort), I would reconsider. I do think it is unlikely...
But I maintained a close relationship with an ex boyfriend for literally 10 years...he grew up alot and he became alot of what I wanted to be with. Unfortunately he also became a bit to wierd and religious for my taste. Did I consider gettting back together? Yes. Did I give him an honest chance? Yes.
Somethings are meant to be. Of course, I am unusual...and I have a wonderful record of giving the benefit of the doubt to things that aren't worth it...but I would seriously consider it.
And if it doesn't happen...so what...you are a better person, and the next person will love you better. The goal is to find the right person. And it is hard enough...so don't close options.
2007-01-29 05:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have had to really honestly change for yourself and for good. Most of the time it is not good to "try" a relationship again. It's too hard to fall back into old routines. Think about what things were missing that you changed and if you are willing to keep the newly changed you in a second-chance relationship with her. be honest too because if you feel that you would retreat to your old ways once you hit that comfort level with her again then save yourself both the heartache. But, alas, I am a romantic so I would give you a second chance. Good luck with your lady :)
2007-01-29 05:57:30 · answer #4 · answered by Lil Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, especially if I really loved him to begin with. Sometimes it's just not "time" for people to be together. one or the other may still have things they need to learn to make a better relationship, or better yet themselves a better person. She could be the one for you, but you guys just needed a minute apart. Becoming friends and being able to express yourselves freely can only help the relationship. So take your time, if it's meant to be then it will be. Also this could be a lesson you're learning to prepare for someone else. Either way, it still makes you a more understanding, caring person. There is nothing wrong with that. Good luck with your ex. Hope she's the one.
2007-01-29 05:54:32 · answer #5 · answered by nikkid6910705 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure I'd take him back. One big question to ask yourself when you are thinking of getting back together with anyone you broke up with is to think about the reason why you broke up and if that problem is still there. But if I see a change then I would get back together. But remember, that if the change wasn't an honest one it will come out and it might be worst the second break up.
2007-01-29 05:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Vivian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is great!!! More guys should be like you. You should change for yourself anyway because if you only do it for your spouse then you are never going to be happy. But if you are doing it in the best interest for the relationship why not get back together at least you are making an effort and to me it shows that you want it to work.
2007-01-29 07:08:03 · answer #7 · answered by kris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's hard because you never really know if the guy changed just for you or if the guy really change on his own. Breaking up with someone is obviously for a reason that is big so for me, I'd say no to make sure I get what I want with a guy who wants the same thing, not just because I say it. Sorry
2007-01-29 05:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by the_wicked_itch_of_the_west 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently in this situation, so I would have to say maybe b/c we have a child together ,otherwise I would say no. Most people change and want recognition for their deeds, love is doing it because you care.
I suspect that you must have disagreed with something that was important to her and in violation of her beliefs, value system and you refused to budge/listen or consider her feelings and so she ended it. While I am sorry for you, good for her! Life is too short to deal with men who make mistakes and beg women for second chances. I can undestand where she might be coming from, today it is this, tommorrow something else. Maybe it was best to just end it now.
Sorry that's just my opinion, move on and learn from your mistake
2007-01-29 06:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by nene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes but only if this is the first real time youve went through this. If youve had these same discussions and youve said you would change and then maybe even did for a while but then went back to old ways, she might think this is the same. If you REALLY change and she REALLY believes that you might have a chance.
2007-01-29 05:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by Candy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋