I am an attractive woman who is currently dating two men and living with my ex husband! I have no desire to commit or further my relationship with any of these men,nor do I look to other men to have a LTR with. I have three children, work, and enjoy my spare time doing things I like whether alone or with one of my "friends." I just turned 40. Is it my age? Are there other women out there like myself? It seems all I hear about are women who want to settle down and commit. For me it's, "no thanks!" However, I still feel in the minority. (Also in my case, it's the men who wish to further the relationship.)
2007-01-29 05:44:38 · 8 answers · asked by dancergalny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Perhaps it's the men who feel their clock ticking. lol They've had their fun in their younger lives and want the security of a woman as their desirability decreases with age.
You've already lived your settled life. Had your kids and now you're mobile again. Time for you to live the life you have. You realize that you're a woman and will always be desireable.
That's my take anyway.
2007-01-29 05:49:40 · answer #1 · answered by Cameron L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am in exactly the same place myself! there isn't a thing wrong with you. I too have received all kinds of crap for dating 2 men at the same time even tho they know about each other. And it was 3 until recently.
I have been married, had the children I want and I'm 46. I lost my husband to suicide almost 2 years ago and have no desire for anything serious or to marry again. I suppose I could change my mind later, but for now I want to be friends with men and be intimate occasionally but I don't want all the baggage.
Recently one of these men decided he wants me to be exclusive and I just don't have any desire for that. I'm seriously considering celibacy and withdrawing from the dating thing all together.
I don't know why everyone will allow men to behave in the same way and even be dishonest about it, but if a woman comes along who wants to date and have fun and be up front, she is labeled in all kinds of ways.
Stick to your guns. Be who you are and don't let people with their ideas on what is "normal" or "right" change your mind. The only people who matter are you and the guys you are involved with.
2007-01-29 13:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by Ande 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Dear,
You are currently dating two men and you are living with your ex husband. You sure do have alot going in your hands. How can you be dating two men and expect to get committed to anybody. I think you first need to be commited to yourself.Remember, the best person that can ever love you and care for you most is your self. Just learn to love yourself and then your committment with yourself will give you the confidence to know what you want.
2007-01-29 14:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm trying to figure out what makes women like you tick. I just got out of a marriage for 13 years and the last thing I wanted to do was hook up with another LTR. Yet I met a woman who totally blew my mind. She was everything I wanted in the bedroom, and every thing I wanted in a mother (noticing her with her two daughters). We F'd like rabbits, anywhere and everywhere we had a chance to. Maybe it was the fact that she was the only other woman I've been with in 15 years other than my ex-wife, but really she just put it on me and I in turn, put it on her. I made certain she got hers every time and most of the time twice. But I found myself adicted to her. I got upset when she didn't call after she said she would. I mean she really made me act like a wimp! That I'm 100% NOT! But I would come at her beck and call just like one. Guess what? She broke it off with me because she was beginning to feel the same way about me. She said she didn't want to get into a serious relationship right now and we need to be just friends. I mean 9 months of intense dating, then all of a sudden you don't want to get so serious?
So dating other men, brings you more joy? Is it the level of attention that you desire, that you feel one person can not possibly give as much as you want? That's what I'm thinking is the correct answer here. You want more attention that you can think one person can give you? I say to you, get a part time job as a bartender. You will get all the attention you want. But with me, I get more satisfaction, giving 100% of myself to the person I love and getting to know that person like the back of my hand. I like to know what reaction I'm going to get by saying whatever and doing whatever. That's what's real to me.
You're telling me you don't really feel that way? Come on!
2007-01-29 14:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by 35 goodlookinmalefrombalt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is diffrent with commitment, it is not as much a man women thing as some make it out to be. Dont feel bad, just ask yourself what is it you are afraid of, getting old, only having sex with one person. Whatever it is you must answer those questions.
2007-01-29 14:05:15 · answer #5 · answered by simsad31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have had a bad experience with men who cant commit. You dont want the stress of trusting someone, so you dont want your heart to go that far as having one person because youve been lied to so much. I guess.
2007-01-29 13:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are my idol, i hope when i get forty i can keep 3 women juggled like you do these dudes
2007-01-29 13:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by norbertomorvan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. I THINK YOU NEED TO GIVE YOURSELF "YOU" TIME. IF YOU JUST RECENTLY GOT DIVORCED, LIVE LIFE FOR YOU FOR AWHILE. WHY WOULD YOU COMMIT?
2007-01-29 13:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋