what age would you let?

Question

at what age do you think kids can go into a town shopping on their own? i have a son nearly 11, he asked but i said no... but in september he will be going to high school on a bus himself, so when do i start giving him a little independence. I suggested taking him and a friend to leisure centre for an hour and picking them up , then maybe in a few months into town with an adult nearby and finally on his own ,but how long should this processs take?

the town is is quite small..not a busy city or anything

Answer 1

Keep wid ur plan then it shud take around 6 months b4 u shud let them go town by themselves. I'm 13 an im not allowed yet doe

Answer 2

Mmmmm...tricky one....my daughters 12 now and we've been going through the same thing. We have just started letting her go to the local 'town' with a group of friends, but she must have her mobile with her and she is a VERY sensible kid. (There are certain other kids I wouldn't let her go with though!!) She now wants to go down into the centre of Bristol........EEEEKKK.....its not that I dont trust her but there are so many other factors like.....what if she has a falling out with her friends down there, and gets abandoned and I'm 1/2 hour drive away.....thats without thinking about weirdos and stuff.....as you can tell I'm a worrywart!!!.........I think our next step is to let her go to 'The Mall'..they are dotted all over the country.......100's of shops in 1 large store........as long as she promises that she doesn't leave the store then I think she will be safe.

Sorry...its turning into an essay. You are gonna have to start giving your son some independance with him starting secondary next year. It will be better for him if hes used to travelling around a bit on his own, instead of suddenly having the stress of a new school and independance thrown at him in one go.

Good luck!! I'm sure he'll be fine!

Answer 3

Depends on the kid. If he is mature and responsible he may be old enough. But if he is still immature and frequently makes poor decisions then he may have some time to wait. Also giving him a bit of independence shows your trust in him. He will respect you for that. Just make sure he knows that it is a PRIVILEGE he has EARNED to go out on his own, and if he proves that he is not responsible enough then he will lose that privilege.

Some things you can do is if he has a cell phone have him call you every hour or so. Or you can have him meet you someplace ever hour or so and work it from there.

Its a tough choice for you to make. Good luck.

Answer 4

How responsible is your child? Is he obedient? You say you live in a small town, how small is small? How far away is it from your home? Are you in a fairly safe area? Do you allow your child to ride his bike out of your sight without supervision, does he always come home at the time when he is told to be there?

Take him to a mall and see how it goes there first before making a final decision. If he is responsible with his spending as well as his time and you feel you can trust him, give him some leeway as long as you are comfortable with this. Each child matures at their own rate. You the parent will be the best judge of the level of responsibility.

Answer 5

I was brought up in a small-ish town and I wasnt allowed into town on my own untill I was 13. I used to be able to get the bus to school on my own, and it isnt as if my parents were over-protective, they just said (quite rightly) that at 11, I had no reason to be going shopping in town.
It never did me any harm, and although he may kick up a bit now, I dont think it`ll really do him any harm to wait a couple of years.

Answer 6

I Allow my 10 year old to go swimming (11 next month high school in the summer) with a friend after school on a Friday sometimes on a Saturday he gets a few pounds for food and a drink after then he calls home for a lift home he's away for about 4 hours at first it was a worry but now we know to trust him. if he gets in trouble he only needs to phone and some one will be there for him.

Answer 7

You really have to go with your gut feeling on this one....you know your son better than anyone and if you feel that he is mature enough for this responsibility then give him a little room to show you how responsible he is and how much freedom he's ready for.
My son was 12 when I allowed him to start doing things with a group of friends, such as going to the movies or to the pizza shop. He knew that this was a privilege he had earned by showing that he was responsible and could be trusted. He is now 14 and I've never had a problem with him making bad decisions with this privilege. We did this in baby steps of course....just to make sure he could handle it. I also talk to my boys all the time about the dangers to be aware of and how to best handle different situations they could encounter.
Just go with your feelings .....and take as long as you feel comfortable with...after all, they are our babies for such a short time! :)

Answer 8

12

Answer 9

I think you should let him go now as long as he is with friends and u know who they are & where they are going. Does he have a mobile? If so you could ask him to call you at a set time. If you feel its ok for him to go to & from school alone then surely into town with friends is much the same.

Answer 10

I was 12 when my parents let me go, with friends, as far as I could ride my bike. But that was a zillion years ago. Cell phones are a wonderful way to stay in touch with your son. I believe there are plans that are relatively inexpensive and are to be used only in emergencies. If he is ready for high school I would say now. Your idea about dropping him off and picking him up is an excellent idea. I know its hard, but we can't lock them up forever even if we would like too! Good Luck.