Ok so I haven't seen my boyfriend for a few weeks because he's been out doing other things with his mates.
I didn't mind because it's not my place to tell him where he can & cannot go.
He was supposed to see me tonight and spend time with me but he called to say he was going out instead.
When I asked him if he remembered already making plans with me he said yes.
When I asked if he'd already made other plans with a friend he said no.
When I asked where he was going he ssaid he didn't know and that he was going out to "see who's about".
So he blew off our plans just to wander around town and see who he can hang out with!
When I asked him if he could understand why I was so P***** off he said he didn't know. I asked if he was still going out and he said yes.
I told him that if he didn't want to be with me he should just tell me and he said I was being stupid. I am so angry!
I'm not about to see him when it's convenient for him and I'm not about ot be his F*** BUDDY!
2007-01-29 05:15:47 · 53 answers · asked by Rainbow-Taster 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't want to dump him because we've been together 2yrs and it would hurt so much but I don't think he's giving me a choice. It seems that no matter what I say he either doesn't understand or doesn't care. What am I supposed to do?
2007-01-29 05:17:19 · update #1
He IS offering you a choice: to be a door mat, or to stand up & be a person. Even if you can't make him treat you with respect, you always have the option to leave.
modify)
I agree w/ several of the others; it sounds like he's seeing someone else. Or doesn't care if he has to.
2007-01-29 05:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by comicards 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's rotten when someone treats you like this, but you do need to take a stand. Personally, I think he's not got the bottle to finish it and is trying to push you into it. Time to be totally blase about the whole thing, stop calling/texting him - better still, make an arrangement and let it fall through and wait for him to get in touch about where you are - if this happens, just nonchalantly say 'oh I thought we were through - sorry, didn't I mention that to you?' - yes, pretty callous, but he'll get the message loud and clear what it's like to be treated the way he's been treating you.
Two years is no reason to hang on in here - after two years, he should be treating you with more respect than ever, because you have invested two years of your life in being with him.
I know it hurts to finish it, but finish it you must - if nothing else, to give him a few months without you to think about things - maybe after then you can both try again, so long as you've BOTH learned from this - it's not only his behaviour that needs addressed, it's your letting him treat you like this that you need to learn from.
Time to put your 'game face' on, girly! Good luck!
2007-01-29 05:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by Just_wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kind of have two options. You can finish with him and try to move on/give each other some space or you can take a step back, give him a free reign and see what happens. Once you stop chasing him around he may wonder where you are and notice.
I understand you saying its not up to you to say where he can and cannot go but after two years he should have more respect for you than this. I hope you sort things out.
2007-01-29 05:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by katyllou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me that you love him alot more than he loves you, and that you are not going to get want you want from this relationship, If this is what he is like with you now then what about in another 2 years.
It seems he is being inconsiderate and selfish, at the moment, I think he likes you chasing him. It makes him feel important when you get upset because of him.
If you really want to change this relationship try this, Do not contact him at all, Ignore his selfishness. Let him carry on as he has been, and don't bother with him.
Pretend you couldn't give a monkey's . Go out with your friends enjoy yourself without him.
When he sees that you don't need him and that he may lose you, He may change his attitude and start treating you with alittle respect.
2007-01-29 08:25:41 · answer #4 · answered by TONY T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say it straight to his face why you're pissed at him then. That's rude of him to suddenly ditch you for his buddies when you already made plans. You say you're not going to break up with him, but I think that if you want things to get better you're going have to because I don't think he'll change. 2 years is too long to be wasting your time on somebody like that. Tell him that if he doesn't change that fact that he blows you off for his friends all the time you're going to leave him. Then if he doesn't change don't feel bad about dumping him, you gave him a chance. There are other men out there that won't always cancel and blow you off to hang out with his buddies.
2007-01-29 05:25:58 · answer #5 · answered by hearts99992000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation. I would say your boyfriend loves you dearly but is lacking interest. Maybe he is bored of the same routine. Try changing your routine with him. For example spend more time with your friends and allow him to ask to spend time with you - I'm sure you do this anyway, but just in case.
I felt that my ex boyfriend was giving me an ultimatum, without the words! He chose to use his behaviour, to reflect how he felt about our relationship. When I questioned him his words were the opposite e.g 'I love you'...'I want to spend the rest of my life with you'. So I chose to end the relationship. I suppose it depends on how much your willing to take. And how differently things are now, to how they once were.
Your relationship has more longevity than mine did... so stick it out. He's probably going through a phase.
Good luck babe.... hope everything works out! x
2007-01-29 10:15:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For goodnes sake it is only two years and you could live till you're 80. The guy has lost interest and does not have the guts to say so. Stop sitting in waiting for the phone to ring (apart from anything else that is a bit needy) and phone your friends and get out and about again. It might take a while but you will get over him so cut your losses and start living.
2007-01-29 08:11:35 · answer #7 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you don't want to end this relationship as you've given 2 years of your life to it-but are you really willing to spend who knows how long being treated like this? You're not being stupid at all-he is. Tell him you deserve much more respect than this,and as he doesn't seem able to give it,you have no choice but to end the relationship. If he really wants to be with you he'll do everything he can to change his bad behaviour in an attempt to get you to stay.
2007-01-29 05:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows htat you will sit and wait for him because he knows (THINKS) you will. What a D***. I know you and I had plans but I want to see who's about town!??? What the F***? Sorry sister you are better than that. Go out and may be see who is about town your own damn self and if you run into him (2 yrs or not) tell him you just hit the lottery and couldn't wait at home no more and now you are going to start over. Think more of yourself. He is stealing your time.
2007-01-29 05:24:35 · answer #9 · answered by cruisingalong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you. I know exactly what youre going through. I went through it a couple years back with my then boyf. He used to make plans to see me then cancel at the last minute, then if I said anything about it to him, he would make it that I was causing problems just to start an arguement. I know youre not going to want to hear this, but I honestly think that unless you can sort things out with him, and soon, it would be better for you to finish it. Its not going to be easy, but the longer you let it drag on, the harder it will be for you. You cant let him think that he can get away with treating you like this, because if he thinks he can get away with it, hell do it all the time.
2007-01-29 07:51:26 · answer #10 · answered by fallenangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a guy starts making his plans with his buddies a priority over you, it's time to speak up or get out. You've invested 2 years of your life with him,. so why waste any more time waiting around for him to have time for you. If he really cared about you, he'd be with you and not his mates all the time. Sorry, but it's true, time to move on and find someone who's into you and spending time with you.
2007-01-29 05:25:20 · answer #11 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋