Ok, I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year. He has MAJOR trust issues. He's deployed at the moment, and we're coming to the end of it. It's been a bumpy ride, but one thing just hasn't gone away.
He ALWAYS thinks I'm cheating!
I am the most faithful, honest person to him. I've told him everything that he might find upsetting. But he always thinks I'm cheating on him. It's getting really stressfull. I can't always sit there and tell him ''hey no, i haven't''. And it's not that simple. He goes on and on and on about how he thinks I'm cheating. It's really pushing me away, as if this deployment hasn't pushed me away as is. It's hard. But dealing with this ''omg you're a girl, you're a cheater'' attitude, from someone who is supposed to be mature, is getting real old. I've tried every way to tell him that I haven't cheated. Anyone have any *new* ideas. Cause i'm out of them.
2007-01-29 05:12:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your boyfriend is in a difficult situation. He is thousands of miles away from the one he loves. That is hard to deal with on a daily basis. You said his deployment is almost over. Try hanging in there until he gets back. If things don't change then you might need to take action.
It could also be that he is feeling guilty about something and to make himself feel better he is taking it out on you. I don't like to talk bad about any of our deployed service men but it is a possibility.
I hope things work out for you.
2007-01-29 05:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by cmssko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think he is really worth all the trouble, go to counseling when he returns. That's the only way to let some of the issues that he has out in a safe environment. I've been the insecure one in a relationship. Honestly, there's nothing you can do except to have a little patience. But I know - I was told too... it gets old and it makes you feel like he doesn't really know you at all! So on his behalf, I'll say sorry because it's rude and mean and you don't deserve it. But insecure people finally have to deal with the demons in our heads. Good luck!
2007-01-29 05:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by A B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is definitely within him. It could be caused by the fact that he was cheated on by someone he loved and now has trouble trusting due to that. It could also be that he is a control freak and is not worth the paper you wipe your *** with. I say dump him and find yourself a mate that will honor you and trust you. You don't want to live with rest of your life like this. Get out while you can.
2007-01-29 05:19:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he is pushing you away with his lack of trust. I mean what really is the point of being with someone who dont trust you. Maybe he is cheating himself and is looking to blame you as a cover. Then he can say well you were cheating so I did too. Just lay it on the line, he either quits it or you move on.
2007-01-29 05:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok I understand your frustrations its only understandable especially since your so honest and faithful to him its a shame that he feels the way he does but if you want to be with him and make things work your going to have to keep cool as best as possible he obviously has issues from previous relationships which also is not fair to you but at the same time speaking from experience I will be the one to explain once you are scarred or hurt by someone depending on how much pain they caused you and how well you cope with it has a major factor on your views of people yes this is totally unfair to you because he is carrying his previous baggage from his ex to you The only thing you can do besides being patient is reassure him as much as possible for the time being it sounds to me that he must of not got over how much a ex gf hurt him and is comparing you or "women" to her and what she had done to him if 'I were you girl Id say to him "Listen _his name_ I understand so and so hurt you or did you wrong in the past but I am not her and never will be her or like her and if you want to be happy and have a normal healthy relationship not only with me but in general you have to learn to let go and move on because honestly it is not fair to me that you sit there and accuse me of being like her because I am not and all your doing by saying these things and accusing me of being something I am not the more you are pushing me away baby and I do not want to because I love you (reassure) and I would neveer do anything to hurt you ever not only bcuz I love you but also because I have too much respect for you to ever play you.. (reassure) baby your the one and only for me and dont you ever think anything different kiss him and hug him and just keep reassuring when he says these things to you good luck =)
2007-01-29 05:32:38 · answer #5 · answered by bkgrl718 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me on this...RUN AWAY FROM THIS GUY! Guys like this are BAD NEWS! Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this? Cause he will NOT change...This is a sign of a very immature and controlling invidivual...he could possibly turn out to be an abuser...and trust me, they do NOT change...trust is also a major part of any relationship...if you do not have it now, you never will....(or rather, he will never trust you no matter what you do or say)....PLEASE!!!!! Run the other way!
2007-01-29 05:24:13 · answer #6 · answered by Toots 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U realy need 2 think about maybe he's the one cheating and he wants a way out!!!!U should just dump him and take ur heart some where it can be appreciated!!!!
Because if u dont have trust u dont have anything!!!!
2007-01-29 05:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by DimePiece TWEETY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people do not cut up because they only stopped loving one yet another. some topics made them to split. We would grant you with each and every of the advice you go with and on the end of the day the ball will continually be on your court. once you've damaged about a minimum of four cases, that ought to extremely propose some thing. Do you imagine the breaking apart will ever end? i believe like you're afraid to be through your self. as a lot as you want him you also sense sorry for him that no one will be able to comprehend him better than you or maybe positioned up with each and everything he is going by ability of. you only can't undergo the soreness of wounding him. no one may help him until eventually he facilitates himself. you should attempt to make him sense good about himself yet when he's not keen to artwork with you the will be no progression. is this the guy you're planning to spend some thing of your life with? you've already been with him for a lengthy time period and also you do not go with to spend more desirable years and easily to verify it received't very last. each and every relationship has it is united statesand down. it form of sounds like this guy desires some specialist help. only those who're keen to assist themselves would properly be helped through themselves. The ball is on your court. In my eyes i imagine deep down you recognize go with you go with to do. you're terrified of the outcomes. good luck!!!
2016-10-16 06:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find out, let me know too. My husband is really jealous too and accuses me of cheating and everything else under the sun and I don't know what else to do except stitch myself to his hip so that he can always watch me. Good luck........... Oh, by the way, it's HIS insecurities and fear that result in the jealousy. It's not you............
2007-01-29 05:17:58 · answer #9 · answered by Jewel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple, tell him u cant be with someone who doesnt trust you, and you sure as hell dont need an insecure man in your life. Shape up or ship out notice is long overdue.
2007-01-29 05:17:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋