Troubles with his divorce right now are making things difficult enough- see other ? - however his 28 year old daughter is adding to his stress - she is much like her Mother and spoiled - so she "needs" Daddy 99% of the time and she is not open to having dinner with "us". She has even stooped to using her son as a ploy to get his time away from me. She claims to him that it is not me specifically nor is it that she does not want for him to be happy, just that she needs time to get usto it - though she will not take an oportunity to get usto it. I feel there may also be outside influences with her as - more specifically - my best friends husbands best friend is my boyfriends nephew - read that twice. Irregardless, she puts demands on him that give him guilt trips or leave him feeling as though he HAS to do something. How and what do I do to get this to stop? Is there anything I can do or because it is his daughter, I am just supposed to step aside? Is this relationship to complex?
2007-01-29 05:06:17 · 6 answers · asked by martiek7 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are dating a man who is in the process of a divorce and you are having issues with his daughter not accepting this??? I think you should take a step back and process this from an objective point of view. My goodness, of course she's having issues! My best advice to you if you're going to carry on this relationship with this man, stay out of his relationship with his daughter. She's his daughter and was there before he ever had feelings for you. It shouldn't matter how much time she wants to spend with her father, she's entitled to do so without anyone getting jealous. Making comments about her mother and calling her spoiled is not helping you, either. I'm not sure what role you played in the divorce--if any, but don't try to break up a father and his daughter.
2007-01-29 05:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by Angela B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom dealt with something like this when she got remarried. My parents had already been divorced for many years when she remarried so it was not hard for us to accept, but her new husband had only been widowed for a short time. His children were already grown, most with kids of their own, but I think they needed more time to adjust to the situation. Especially since my mom was far less than understanding. Her husband had been married to his first wife for 40 years. It doesn't matter how old the kids are. Just because you are an adult it doesn't mean you don't need your parents. You don't say how long you have been with this man. I know it seems hard but try to give her as much time as you can to adjust and if you grew up with two parents who were together your whole life it is hard to relate to what she is feeling. She will be more accepting in time, but like anything, if you push it with either of them, it will blow up in your face.
2007-01-29 05:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by wendygirl1000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is up to your boyfriend to navigate through this. If he's in the middle of a divorce, I think dating and girl friends should be the last thing he forces on anyone, including his grown daughter. If she's not ready, then he should just keep those two parts of his life separate. Maybe in another few months, he should try again, but to insist that she accept whoever he wants to hang around with is silly. She may never accept that he's moved on in his life, she may hold a grudge forever. However, it's up to him to decide how patient and how long he wants to put up with it. If you go making demands on him too, then you'll be forcing him to chose, and that's just not right. You'd be better off just trying to be understanding and as patient as he's willing to be. If you can't do that, then maybe the two of you aren't a good match.
2007-01-29 05:20:10 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont believe your situation is as complex as you seem to be making it. Perhaps there is a power struggle between you and his daughter. I would let her have some personal time with him.
And I would also include ALL together time as well. If she's unable to accept both, that is her problem, NOT yours. If you're considering marrying her dad....PLEASE DONT, at this time.
As for her dad's nephew........That is absolutely NOT your concern.
2007-01-29 05:24:36 · answer #4 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-03 04:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes this is problem. are you a step mom? if you are bud out. i mean you really shouldn't say nothing. but i can't say enough it will be mean trouble. if you are related talk to the girl. let her know where you stand it will mean trouble also but maybe she'll leave you all alone.
2007-02-01 16:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋