I posted a ? about my daughter and almost shocked at some of the responses. Why do parent think you can stop your child from having sex or makeing choices that you might find wrong. You cant controll your childrens choices in life all you can do is raise them right and hope that you have giving them the wisdom to do good. Parents that think they can stop their children from having sex are crazy. Talking about sex and thing are not going to make your child go out and have sex nor is NOT talking to your children about sex going to stop your children from doing so. As parents its our job to protect our children but in the end its still their choice to do or not to do. I know my kids are going to have sex no matter what I say or do, and its not about if they do or not do something its a matter of WHEN they choose to do these things. So why do some parents think that their kids will never do these things because they taught them so well?
2007-01-29 05:02:24 · 34 answers · asked by BELLABELLA 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
KATHY...I dont expect my children to have sex, I know they will. I expect my kids to be responsible and use protection.
In my opinion..with my kids...when they start dating and all that good stuff my cookie jar will become the condom jar!!!!
2007-01-29 05:27:43 · update #1
You are right our children are going to make their own choices no matter what. You can only hope that your love and guidance paid off and they will make the right decisions.
2007-01-29 05:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know that somewhere in their lives, my children will have relations of the adult kind..... I know they will make choices that I have taught them I do not agree with... but? I will have taught them for as long as possible all the reasons to NOT do things the wrong way... I will have taught, retaught and then some!
I won't make it easier for them to make a choice I am clearly against... such as teen sex... so my cookie jar, will always only have cookies in it... well maybe the occassional candy... a few dollars? lol.. that means, no condoms.... they would not be able to understand the limit I have drawn.. it is not acceptable to go out and have sex as a teen.... does that mean I have not talked to them about what to do if you disobey, if you make your own choice and it is not the one I have said is the right one? no... my children that are older 8, 10 and 15 have all had the "sex" talk... and the what happens.. not what could... what will... where std's and babies are concerned... and responsibility.... and they get this talk everytime they are going to go out... and everytime it is addressed in a tv show, movie or song they see/hear....
I do not feel I am crazy in the fact that I have nutured, taught and guided my children and given them the tools to make the wiser or more mature of the choices out there... do I think they are perfect? ummm.. they have me for a mom... I wasn't, like I said.. not crazy...... I do expect them to be better than me.... I do expect that if my daughters or sons are faced with a wanting to take something to another level.. or if they are being pressured? I will get spoken to... asked questions... and from there.. we will see......they know they can come to me with anything.. for any reason... it has been tested and proven true.... they know I will read the riot act to them... and they know I will still love them and help if it is needed....
do I think my "children" will have sex? NO... they won't.. do I know my "adults" will...? when they are ready..... hopefully it will be when I am too old and senile to realize that the last vestages of innocence will then be gone... maybe young enough to corrupt a grandchild, if I am lucky enough to have any ;>
why do some parents think these things won't happen? I think it is more to do with these are the little angels we changed... loved... played dinosaurs with... the ones that innocently say they want to marry us when they grow up... why would we want to think about the act of...? the hurt that comes with it....? the games that go on? sometimes it is easier to think the very best of those angels... because it affords those angels the freedom to grow up without us looking right over their shoulders.... and affords us a little sleep thinking they are not quite grown... and still need us and our cookies that make their "ouchies" all better...
not to say it is the right way... but? it is one way....and then there's the way of total confusion... "I said do not do it... by the way.. have a condom"?? naw.... I am not hiding with my head in the clouds thinking that I have somehow raised perfect adults who do not test boundaries... go further.... see the next mountain? I would not want to! I do think I am raising adults who respect me and rules... decide which are able to be bent and which should not be.... I am raising adults who feel that "sex" is not something to just play with... but is something that takes maturity, responsibility... respect for themself and the other person.... something to be shared with a husband/wife.... something precious and to be cherished...
2007-02-05 12:51:42 · answer #2 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't get it do ya . That's my job that's what I do every thing I do is for you . Do you think I would be sitting in this house half the time looking out the window ?Hell no I would be fishing or partying or something I like to do . Do you think that I love telling my child that some creep wont's to pull your pants down give you HIV and put you on the street corner so he can have drug money . Thing is I'm not trying to stop you I'm trying to help you .If you would wake up smell the coffee maybe you can hear what I am trying to get into your head. Take a real good look out there .
No matter what it takes what I have to say to stop them I will until they turn of age . WHY? Because I love them.
You know allot of kids are out there getting killed or getting HIV doing drugs because parents say well there going to do what they wont anyway . And ill tell you this . Not if i can help it . I just hope you don't have a boy knocking on my door wanting to do what he wont's to do with my daughter .
2007-02-03 10:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm a parent of 4 kids (2 of each) and I never have thought that way. All I can do is raise my kids the best I know, give them the knowledge and let them know they have to pay for the choices they make. There are teenagers all around still getting pregnant and having unprotected sex. My kids know a few! For the parents that actually think this way....take your blinders off! Kids are kids and they will make their own choices no matter how they are raised. Afterall, how were we when we were teenagers?
2007-02-05 07:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so right ! They are going to do it anyway, so why not give them all the info before hand. The parents that say their child won't because they were raised better than that , are kidding themselves. Talking to them about sex is an important part of the process. If they have all the info, they will be better able to make the right choices about when they start having sex. And understand that they have to protect themselves against STDs and pregnacy.
2007-01-29 05:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by tdhgrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of four adult children myself, I support wholeheartedly what you're saying. Parents who are suggesting that their children will not have sex until they're adults, are sadly living in a fools' paradise. Parents can do their best to educate and influence their children by not only making them aware of the physical dangers, eg., STDs, unwanted pregnancy, etc., but also making them aware that sex is an emotional issue as well as a physical one (especially true for the girls) and the heartache it can lead to if enjoyed carelessly and irresponsibly. They can't, however, go everywhere with their children! As you rightly say, in this, the 21st century, it's not a matter of 'if', but a matter of 'when', because no matter what restrictions parents place on their children, they will still find an opportunity. Enabling them to be able to discuss the matter comfortably and openly with you is the best policy; we should never assume that our children are better than anyone else's, simply because they're ours - each is an individual and nature is nature!
2007-01-29 05:32:47 · answer #6 · answered by uknative 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my daughters were in High-school i spoke to them both about sex etc. I told them the minute they leave school they must please go on the pill. They were both upset and insulted but i explained to them that does not matter how good a girl you are the day will come when your emotions are going to reach boiling point and you will want to have sex. So better safe than sorry. Parent's who accuse others of not bringing their kids up properly has a lot to learn still. I had a friend whose mother used to brag that her daughter was the only decent girl on the block, i was rubbish because i liked and rode a motorbike, quess whose daughter fell pregnant and had to get married.
Put your kids on the pill , we have all been there once and know in our hearts that we had sex on the back-seats of cars and if not in a car then somewhere else. No good having a holier than though attitude.:))
2007-01-29 05:15:01 · answer #7 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is because parents think of their children as possesions more than little people- I have one daughter and two sons, all under the age of four right now. But I decided a long time ago to treat sex like anything else they might try to hide. I am going to let them know it is all their choice, but remind them to have safe sex (condoms). I will have a drawer of condoms and spermacide and all the other sex protection devices for them at their disposale. I figure, if I make it "ok" for them to have sex, it will be like candy, when its around all the time, you dont want it, when you are not allowed to have any, you are always jumping at the chance to get a piece.
2007-01-29 05:25:24 · answer #8 · answered by allaboutme_333 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I used to be one of those parents that believed that as long as you raise your children right and teach them the difference between right and wrong then everything would be ok.(I also used to blame bad kids on their parents) After my second daughter was born I no longer think this way as she is very independent and does not care what consequences follow for doing bad things. So it is a serious mistake for parents to think that their child will not be the ones out having sex and partying as teenagers. People need to open their eyes and realize that times have drastically changed.
2007-01-29 05:13:53 · answer #9 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice one. We can only give them the info and hope that they make the right choices. After all that is what we are on this planet to do keep the species going. But we have to try and teach our kids the right way of going about it. That's all we can do its up to them at the end of the day. I'm with you. Some parents live in a tiny world of there own and need to remember what they were like growing up. ALWAYS REMEMBER. it helps alot when bring kids up.
2007-01-29 05:13:05 · answer #10 · answered by lady_di_ar125 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, many people enjoy running around in a state of total ignorance about certain issues. My children will be talked to about sex and hopefully feel comfortable enough coming to me when they are ready to in order to get on birth control. Not only will they be on birth control, when THEY are ready for it, but they will also be carrying condoms with them on a regular basis. No reason getting pissed at all the kids getting pregnant or infected with STD's when the parents are the ones sending them out their with no knowledge whatsoever about any of it. That being said, some kids are taught very well about it and still make mistakes and end up pregnant or with a disease, but it is our job as parents to do all we can to provide them with an arsenal of information about how to protect themselves, those that do not are negligent in my opinion.
2007-01-29 05:13:50 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋