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Then he told me how much I helped him, only to leave me to be with the person that caused him so much pain, a onenight stand who had his child.I helped him so much.He told me never to call him again.Now evrything has come rushing back to me,all the suicid threat made.He told me he bought cianide over the internet.He used to tell me he would do it when school was out over the summer because he was a teacher.He would tell me he couldnt live.Icant cope now:((All I do is cry &I have alot of anger inside for him messing with my head.Apparently, he got over it enough to treat melike crap.I dont know what todo anymore.Its been 6months and I am in therapy now!How ironic!All because I cared, he got me2care by telling me all that.Now look. How do I cope?Please someone tell me.I know now Ishouldnt have taken on that burden,but I felt he cared for me also.I was so angry Icalled him several times to yell,talk,confront him.Then he told me he was going to report me for harrassment!Who does this???:(

2007-01-29 04:50:07 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

12 answers

Boy, that is tough! You have to let him go. He manipulated you and you are paying for it. It helps to realize that you can never control the behavior of another. You can't make him act the way you want him too. Take and write a letter to him, get it all out on paper - then have a little ritual for yourself where you destroy the letter. DO NOT send that to him. By destroying those thoughts on paper, you symbolically set yourself free from those thoughts. He is still controlling you, do not give that power! You are powerful!
After you destroy the letter, do not contact him ever again. DO not dwell on it. Go out and do something just for you - buy a big ice cream cone, take a hot bubblebath, go on a shopping spree for you. - whatever you wish, it doesn't even have to cost money.

2007-01-29 05:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by juneaulady 4 · 0 0

This guy has serious issues. One thing I've learned in life is if you want to be a girlfriend to someone, be that. Don't be someones therapist besides. He has depression issues, among other ones. It's just too bad that you invested so much time in an enterprise that was almost completely doomed from the start. The best thing for you, is to look out for you. Do what you need to do, which is move on. This guy has a child with another woman, regardless of his feelings for her he has a lifetime obligation to his child, and the drama will always be there between him and his ex. You don't want that drama. Girl you deserve better, now go out there and get it! Good Luck!

2016-03-29 08:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sounds like he's working you, honey! It is time for you to separate yourself from him and work on your own happiness and take care of the child that you have. I am glad you are in some counseling, that can help and be a place in your life for you. Confronting some of the issues that are causing you unhappiness. It is a hard lesson to learn, but sometimes when people really do commit suicide it is what they need to do. If life is truly intolerent to them, that is the path they take. You are not responsible for his choices. If there are any family members that care about him, you could tune them in to what he has been saying, but you have responsibilty to the child and yourself. You are important to your child.
Letting go is difficult even when it is a painful relationship. Good Luck.

2007-01-29 05:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by plaplant8 5 · 0 0

Be happy you aren't still together. My ex- husband was bipolar and he talked of suicide before but that is just a cry for help I always thought something was wrong with me , but cleary it wasn't. Good for you on the therapy it will help since he acts like an @$$ when you try to talk and get closure.

2007-01-29 04:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by Daisy Mae 4 · 0 0

It is sad that this happened, but the best thing to do is leave it behind you. You need to focus on your life and try to make it as good as you can. Life seems to move so slow at times, but try to make it good for yourself. Spend time with your family or friends. Catch up on things you love, you can go out to social events and meet people when you feel you can. Good luck!

2007-01-29 04:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by eva diane 4 · 0 0

Get away from him . You can't help him, he has to help himself. And you need to concentrate on yourself and your own healing right now. Can you talk to a friend, relative, minister, prayer line, suicide hotline? Just talking could help you get a different viewpoint on how to solve this. When you are sad it is hard to see a way out by yourself, that is why it is important to find someone to confide in. I will say a prayer for you ..good luck.

2007-01-29 04:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Tell him to get out of your life. You only have one life, spend it with people that you love and that make you happy. All the negative people and those that try to bring you down should be cut off completely.

Tell him that you don't ever want to see, hear or know about him anymore. If he does want contact with you, to take the damn cyanide- just stop contacting you!

2007-01-29 05:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by theman134 3 · 0 0

LET HIM GO. It sounds like he is a no-good-very-bad-dangerous-volitile and nasty person to have in your life. Cut him out and focus on adding other pieces to your life to make you happier. You can't change other people. Period. End of Story. People can only be helped by one person, themselves. And it sounds like now is the time for you to help yourself. Good for you for going to therapy, but you have to decide that he is a part of your past and not your future.

2007-01-29 04:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0 0

You are what therapists call a sponge. You soaked in all his problems, its a mental thing. Get your act together, get out of therapy , stop feeling sorry for yourself and find someone who deserves you. Do not call him to yell, pretend he is dead right this minute. Lastly, you know better, then why are you being your worst enemy?

2007-01-29 04:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

He has you right where he wants you. He has laid the biggest guilt trip ever on you and rolls you back and forth like a yoyo!

Time to cut the ties 100% and move on. If he is going to harm himself it is his decision and you are not to blame.

There is a saying in the field of mental health, WHO OWNS THE PROBLEM. Don't let his problem become yours.

2007-01-29 04:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0 0

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