Do Screaming children in Restaurant ruin dinner?

Question

If they can't manage their children and keep them from bothering other people around them, they should be asked to leave.
That is the policy in Germany and Europe they would be kicked out.

Answer 1

When I take my Grandson out to a restaurant (he's 4) I explain to him that he is to behave and that if he doesn't, we will leave whether he has eaten or not. I tell him this INSIDE the restaurant. I have only had to remove him once. I actually got an applause from the other diners on that one!

Answer 2

Well I realize that a screaming child is much worse for the parent than it is for other people in the restaurant. However I think that people should know their children and find a babysitter if they have a child that acts up like that or that just simply can't yet handle himself in a social setting, for whatever reason.

Now me, personally, I can tune it out for the most part. I get focused on eating and I don't really care much about anything else. But for the people who come to a restaurant as a social eating sort of thing, I can see where a screaming tot might taint the experience somewhat. It seems to me that if you know your kid won't make it at Ruby Tuesday's, either find a babysitter or just go to McDonald's, where all the other screaming tots go. If people had the decency to make that judgement, then the unexpected, occasional tantrum (which is inevitable for the most part) would be more forgiveable.

Also, there is a big difference between a crying, teething baby (for whom people should grant a little consideration), and a 6 or 7-year old, who can understand right and wrong, throwing down in public. I tend to take that into consideration when deciding when enough is enough.

Answer 3

Yes, they do ruin the meal. Nobody ever goes to a restaurant hoping that they will hear a screaming child, have their chair kicked by a racing child, or have to pretend that it's OK.

Even if you spend your whole working life with children, or if you have only given up some evenings to babysit other friends's children (to let them go out for a meal), the whole point is that you are paying (and tipping) to relax and have a conversation. You cannot reason with or intervene with another person's child! It's not your business, so why should you have to hear them behave badly?

I don't mind if a child comes over and chats to me for a few minutes. I'm happy to treat them as a person and answer their questions. But I hate it that the parents will look over, sigh with relief that their child has found a friend, and ignore the fact that my friends and I have been served hot food, have come out to celebrate and talk. Sometimes, to break bad news privately. Sometimes to give someone a break from their routine.

How are any of us going to have children if we can't go out on dates in the evening and converse? Only a really broody person would enjoy a meal while children are allowed to run wild & yell! If the parents don't miss the child at their table, then get a sitter!

Should we have to watch what we say because a total stranger has joined us uninvited? It's not OK. A restaurant is not a pub!

We were at Disneyworld with a woman carrying a newborn baby on the rides. That's just crazy. Yes, the organisers or owner should ask them to leave, invite them to come back at a less busy time.

Answer 4

There is absolutely no excuse for temper tantrums or other bratty behavior.

I have an 11 month old baby who for the most part is really good in the restaurant. I do not take her to fancy places though--we go to places where it's loud to begin with so if she raises her voice it's not noticable. She has NEVER had a temper tantrum. If she's cried its because she was hungry or perhaps tired but it was not non-stop.

I started taking her to restaurants as soon as she could go out in public (around 10 weeks) but again, to family style places. When she was that little she would cry and it would embarrass me but I'd deal with it promptly (walk her around, walk outside, etc). From a new mom's perspective I must say that I needed the break so desperately and couldn't cook all the time. So I relished that time when I could get a break. Did my baby scream incessantly? No. But she also wasn't quiet as a mouse. And I made sure to take her when I knew there wouldn't be a lot of people and/or to a place where it wouldn't be noticed.

I don't know what you consider bothering other people, but I sure hope that you aren't referring to very small babies who are fussing occasionally. When I go to a family restaurant I expect to see just about anything. But I agree with you--outright brats and their parents should be asked to leave. And babies and toddlers for the most part do not belong in fine dining establishments.

Answer 5

Generally I agree, however I do make exceptions for indeed special needs children, or when it's just a brief interruption. When a child starts to scream, and a parent either takes him outside or actively works on getting him settled down, I can't say I'm thrilled but I accept that, parents and children have the right to eat out too. I'll shrug it off and it won't ruin my dining experience.

However if the parents just continue with dinner and don't even say anything, that makes me livid! A kid can be far less loud but when the parents aren't even *trying* it'll make me more mad than when a child is acting up worse and the parents are obviously doing their best to get back in control of the situation.

Answer 6

It is the policy in the states too. One must complain to the waitress or waiter or manager though before they usually ask someone to leave. I have seen it done though. If the parents can't manage the children in public, they need to take them home and TEACH them some manners before taking them out again. If my kids EVER did anything like that in public, they wouldn't have had to worry about sitting for a while or going anywhere for a very long time. I used to get compliments on how well behaved my kids were in public places. They never went around a store picking up toys or things from a shelf either when in a dept. or grocery store. I never had to spank my kids either(just for the record) but the threat was there and they KNEW I would if I had to.

Answer 7

Yeah we all know it is a problem but you are going about it all wrong. Order your food and listen to it. When the food arrives tip your waitstaff and leave with out paying. Talk to the manager if you have to. But do not pay. The only way to solve this.

If you kick the parents out they still pay for the food so why would a restaurant care unless they make the food and don't get paid. If it is a place you go often they will watch a lot more closely next time you come in. But tip the waitstaff.

Answer 8

It depends what time it is. The later it is, the more likely the child is to be tired and worn out, therefore it's more likely to scream and cry. It depends on the age of the child as well. Do you expect parents to be able to control a baby, or a baby who's teething? Sometimes it's not 'acceptable', such as late night dining, but in the afternoon I think it's okay for parents to bring their children in.

I've worked in restaurants and pubs for 10 years, and only twice have I ever had to ask anyone to please keep their children under control (only with more politeness and with more tact) Those times were because the children in question were playing right outside the kitchen doors where we were running in and out with hot plates etc and they could've been hurt. The parents did so with no arguement, in fact they seemed more embarrassed than anything.

If they're in during the afternoon, fair enough so long as the children aren't running around, being overtly loud (i.e. non-stop loud crying) or in danger. Late night dining, I don't agree with children being in a restaurant.

However, on the flip side, some people just complain about kids being in the pub or restaurant full stop. Which is just rude in itself. You may not want to have children yourself but don't berate those who do. A few certain loud children shouldn't be the reason why all children are tarred with the same brush. Do you actually smile and talk to the child who ARE well behaved? Or just not notice them?

EDIT : I've just read Compass Roses answer and yes, I agree with her. Kids can be taught how to behave, my friends have done it with their children.

Answer 9

Yes they ruin dinner! Not only yours but mine too (I'm the mom)! So as a rule, if we do "try" to do dinner out, we only do the family buffet types so the kids are interested in the different foods and more likely to sit and eat. But when they start up, we have a policy that one of us (parents) take them in the car for a few minutes, and if they don't chill on try #2, we take them home! Kinda sucks for us, but I cannot stand when they act out in public. .....besides, doing this has taught them that when they don't stop, they go home. Seems to be working, slowly, but surely. I have yet to be to a nice restaurant with the kids, because I know that would be a disaster at this time! They are only 2 & 1, they don't need a nice restaurant anyway! lol!

You are right!

Answer 10

Absolutely. There was once or twice as a parent where I'd put my children past their limits for patience and they were obnoxious in a restaurant. I either left with them for good or went and waited in the car while the other adult and child finished their dinner. Unless I'm hanging out at some kid's restaurant, I have an expectation of peace and quiet. If the kids can't be controlled, leave them at home with a babysitter or don't go out in public. It's not my duty to put up with little kids out of control.

Answer 11

Perhaps, but I encourage parents to continue taking their children out to dinner regardless of behavior or past experiences. The kids need to learn this valuable social skill and they won't get it by staying home. Parents should agree before they even head out to the restaurant what the time limit will be on allowing the negative behavior to continue, before leaving and taking the food to go. The kids should get a chance to improve and setting a time frame on this will help keep the other people from getting overly annoyed. They can let the waiter know about their exit strategy should the need arise, when they first sit down to the table. In a short time with more opportunity and experience the kids do improve.