Who's right me or my hubby?

Question

My daughter who will be turning 12 in a month was asked by a boy to go to the movies this coming saturday. I told her yes but only if she went with a group of 5 or so and went to the afternoon or early evening one.. My hubby has a big problem with this and hates the idea of her going to the movies with a boy, I really think he wants to say no but wont say it, he doesnt even like talking about it.. So do you think I was right telling her she could go or is he just being a dad when it comes to his little girl and boys?

Answer 1

To me (and this is just the way I was brought up and the way I plan on raising mine...totally opinion), I think 12 is too young to go on a "date". I had to wait until I was 16. I plan on making my children wait until 15-16 as well. Kids are growing up too fast as it is and I for one am not going to do anything to spead that up.

Answer 2

I think 12 is a little young to go to a movie with a boy. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. A 12 year old would be ok at a chaperoned event or something but not a movie. Don't make her grow up so fast. Keep her young while you can. Offer to take her and the boy to the movie with you and your husband. A double date may be the cure for her asking again.....=)

Answer 3

Gosh, this is a very good question. I have a 10 yr old girl and the children of today are so much more mature and advanced than I was at her age. I personally do not want her to have anything to do with boys until after 16 (30 if I'm really honest), but I know she has to do these things sometime. I guess it all depends on the group, the other parents, the movie, her grades, her attitude, and things like that. I tell my little girl, that if she wants to be treated like an adult then she has to act like an adult. If your daughter has proven herself ready to you, then I wouldn't be too hard on her.

Answer 4

Well, I know you are only asking our opinions, so here goes...I have a 14 yr old who has never and will not be allowed to date boys alone or in a group until she's 16. That's just my rule. If you let them date at 12, what will they want to do at 14 or 16? Kids are already more advanced now than when we were young. I just think kids this age should learn how to be a kid and hang with their same sex friends and not try to grow up too fast. Don't be fooled by the "group" thing. Kids know how to sneak off and get in trouble. I'm not saying your daughter would do this, but peer pressure is rampant these days! I just think an 11 yr old, soon to be 12 yr old, is way too young to be thinking of herself as having a "boyfriend" and going on dates. This will only lead to trouble in my opinion. What is the point of having a boyfriend at 12??!! You didn't mention how old he was, but I know boys have things on their minds that are not always pure, by no fault of their own. It's just society these days and tv and video games, etc. Let her be a child, for now. Set an age, so she won't keep asking. Your husband is right on this one. He doesn't like talking about it because that's his little girl and he was a young boy once and knows what goes on in the minds of young boys!

Answer 5

Sry,but I seriously think it's common sense for a kid not to go out with someone at the age of 12(not being mean, Ikno that U just want your kid to have fun). I agree w/ your hubby. Kids these days are getting away w/ too much. Imean, not 2 many years ago,this action would've been morally wrong. The world is getting worse. Bsides, I kno that you think her going w/ a group of friends is good(which is seriously better than alone-again common sense) but their just kids also. They will no doubt influence her to do stuff(bad or good) . Who gives kids the right 2 raise YOUR KID? U know what I mean? My personal preference would be for her 2 wait a couple years(the older-the smarter,plus she'll B less influenced by peers). So, Ireally think your hubby was just being a really good dad :)

Answer 6

You are a women and a mother. It's ok from your point of view that your daughter should or can go out to a movie with a guy she must be knowing. But you should also accept the fact that your hubby was also a guy or boy before you married him. He must be fully aware of the danger or behaviour that may come to your daughter. That's what most of the males do. That's why he is not willing to let her go. Because single males look for fun and if they manage to get a girlfriend then they forget everything and starts breaking the barriers and go beyond. He must be knowing that it's not bad to have boyfriend for a girl or girlfriend for a boy. So, if you wish to send your girl with this boy then you have to arrange something. If you know this boy and if you wish tell them that you will come with them but will be staying bit away, don't go with them and tell your hubby that you are going with them and he may agree. Yes, you have to lie to your hubby, else you can't let your girl go with her boyfriend.

Answer 7

well I think 11 is a way to young to be hanging with boys reguardless if they are with a group. They should have a parent with them.
I think your husband is stuck between a rock and a hard place, He cant say no now that you said yes because that would make him the bad guy. But he hates the idea of his daughter going out at this age. I think you should take them to the movies, besides you did tell her she could go!

Answer 8

At 12 years old a group is a good thing. But I think that Mom or Dad should be in the theater with the group sitting a few rows back. Supervised but not crowding her.
Any big event like this needs to be discussed with Mom and Dad that way you will not have the parents at odds with each other.

Answer 9

If you are naive enough to think that a 12 year would really go to the movie. Okay, so you trust her, she and her girlfriends will still end up at the mall with their boyfriends.
Think about it, you really can't talk at the movies and it's probably the worst place to go for a date.

She is too young to be going out with boys (period). Fifteen is still young but a little more sensible.

Against my wishes, my daughter listened to her Mother and dated at 15, pregnant at 15, married at 16 and naturally the marriage didn't last. I hope this doesn't happen to your family.

Answer 10

Well, the only thing you could have done differently is discussed it with your husband before you told her it was okay. BUT I think you are right, she is 12 and if she is with other girls and friends and they are getting dropped off/picked up by a parent that is just fine! This is her chance to prove to you whether or not she can handle these kinds of outings. If all goes well, she could go on more outings like this. I think a lot of dads are like that with their daughters, but hopefully he will loosen up when he sees that she comes home the same way she left - just fine!(and probably a little more happy!)

Answer 11

You should remind him that she could have just met her friends and the boy at the movies and not told you at all!! He is being a Dad and worries about her because she is so young. But she came to you and thats a good sign!! I think going places with a group of people is the best way to begin the dating process and this should continue for several years. I vote for you but still do understand Dad's concern.