I am the matron of honor in a wedding, and the bride wants to have both a shower and a jack and jill. I think its tacky to have both, it should be one or the other.. People are not going to want to have to give cash or gifts at a shower, and jack and jill and wedding too.. does anyone know the proper ettiqute for this?
2007-01-29 03:40:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sounds like overkill. It does not matter what the bride wants. Given parties are supposed to be given by friends who are willing to do so. Your friend should be grateful for whatever she is given, because these parties are indeed gifts themselves! If she gets less than what she wants, tough on her.
2007-01-29 03:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am having a Jack and Jill (Buck and Doe), and a bridal shower. The Jack and Jill is generally for people coming to give money to help the couple out with their wedding, honeymoon, new house, or whatever they want to use the money for. The Bridal Shower, is generally where the bride gets gifts that can be used in there house, or lingerie, or stuff like that. You usually don't give money for a Bridal Shower, and you usually don't give gifts at a Jack and Jill.
Look up Buck and Does on the internet to help you plan one, have several different games that the friends and family can come and play, and each game will be a certain amount of money.
2007-01-29 04:20:52 · answer #2 · answered by Ali Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, too, would think it would only be one or the other. However, as they say, it's her day....
My suggestion would be to throw her a "normal" shower and if she wants a jack and jill, too, have it a very casual affair and make sure to say "no gifts/money please." Let her know that it would just be a party, almost an extra-large engagement party, because it would be too much to have all three (shower, j&j, wedding).
Of course, this is assuming you are willing, or at least okay with, doing all the planning and paying (with the other bridesmaids, of course!). If not, explain to the bride that you will be HAPPY to do one or the other, but not both. Ask her which one she would want if she could only get one. Then maybe ask her mother/FMIL if they wanted to throw the other. That's what I would do, anyway. (I know the family isn't supposed to host these, but now-a-days anyone can do it.)
2007-01-29 03:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is only tacky if she expects 1) gifts for both shower and J&J and 2) for someone else to pay for both. Throw her a shower, and if she also wants J&J, she could put one together herself, and party 'til the cows come home (the invitations should state something like "your presence is the only gift needed").
What happened to the times when the shower and such was a gesture of goodwill on the part of the MOH, and not something that is "owed" to the bride?
2007-01-29 03:59:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the problem with it if shes not asking you to throw both of them, 1 is all the shower you need to give her. I am personally having 3 showers so far, and it looks like I'm gonna have a lingerie shower as well, but its cuz one is for liek family friends and people in the community, my church is throwing me one, so its just church people, and my mom works at a school adn they always throw one for staff members and their kids so I get one from them, but nobody is being invited to more than one of them b/c I don't want them to feel like they have to buy me 3 gifts.....and the lingerie shower is up in the air, I just have a good friend who likes to throw those, so if she wants to then I'm cool with it! anyway, long story short, if she's not expecting you to take on both then don't sweat it! If so, mention that you can't handle 2 parties and that maybe she could ask someone else.
2007-01-29 06:49:19 · answer #5 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jack & Jill events are fantastic - yet "promoting" tickets is tacky. a bath desires no longer be some thing more desirable than getting consisting of acquaintances to have a good time the drawing near wedding ceremony - there is no longer some thing tacky about this.
2016-10-16 06:23:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think just a bridal shower is enough. If you have both then you are really obligating people to go to both. It is one or the other, you are right!
2007-01-29 04:00:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all the changes in modern life - I'm not sure their is a proper etiquette established.
I do think its tacky to have both... and improper as well...
It really should be one or the other...
Just my .01
-dh
2007-01-29 03:47:16 · answer #8 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is a jack and jill? Never heard of it.
2007-01-29 03:47:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jay's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not
2007-01-29 03:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anne D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋