Okay, here's my story.... I have raised my son as a single mom until recently becoming engaged. My son is now 6 years old. I'm getting married this year and talking another child shortly thereafter. I'm not so much worried about the relationship between my fiance and my son, they are best buds. However, I am worried about how my son will react to a new baby in his recently added on family. Has anyone gone through a similar situation and how has it impacted you and your child?
2007-01-29 03:28:39 · 9 answers · asked by angel 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My children have a almost 8 year gap...my daughter is 8 and will be 9 on march 26 and my son will be one years old feb 3rd...when i was pregnant...my daughter was mad to say the least...(i raised her as a single mother just like yourself) and she was even more pissed when she found out it was a boy!!! she told me she did not want anything to do with the baby...she said it so frequently as i keep pressuring her and telling her you will love the new baby when it comes..Big no-no!!!! I learned when they talked negative about the up and coming arrival to just ignore it and say you are allowed to feel that way...it gives them a sense of contol over the situation....When my daughter visited me in the hospital post-partum...i caught her glancing at the baby for a second but i did not say anything...when the baby came home, she ignored him until he was about 3 months old...now she loves him and plays with him and protects him when we all go to mcdonalds and the little kids comes up to her brother...she immedialtely steps in front and proudly says he is my brother!! so don't worry...it will most likely be hard in the beginning but it will turn around!!! It's so awesome to have such a large age gap as well cause the older one can help themselves a lot while you tend to the baby and the older one can also keep the baby occupied while you take a shower, etc...It's worked out great for me!!!! Congrats on the up and coming wedding!!!
2007-01-29 03:42:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you will have a wonderful family
i am the baby of 3 with two brothers that are 9 and 10 years older than me--we have a great relationship-of course there were times that i was more like an only child but that's great too
ur son i think is at a great age to have another child added to the family because he is old enough to help out and will be envolved in school activities and friends that he doesnt need your every waking moment-i hope ur wedding and future family is awesome
2007-01-29 11:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by kewlchica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just had my second child, and my first is 6. She loves being an older sister, and she is such a big help! She had been asking for a sibling for quite some time, so she was very excited when she found out I was pregnant. My husband and I have made a concentrated effort to give her as much attention as possible, and we talked to her about all of the time we would have to devote to the new baby before the birth. We wanted to make sure she was as prepared as possible. We didn't sugar-coat it, so she had a good idea of what was coming. We also gave our daughter a 'big sister' gift from the baby when she came to see us in the hospital in order to include her more.
2007-01-29 11:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by doodlebuttus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, you have a right to be concerned. I'm sure your son will love having a younger sibling. At first. In fact for a few years. But, as the younger child gets older, expect him/her to look up to, and want to be just like, their "big brother." This will drive your older son nuts. Kids find babies cute, but children tend to not like having a 4-5 year old "mini-me" around all the time. This is also caused by your older son wanting to exert his independance and "become his own person" during his teenage years.
Also, due to the age difference, it will be harder for them to really "connect" as siblings. That's just life. Your son will be driving and dating around the same time your youngest child will be beginning, or still early in, elementary school - their interests will be so far apart. Your older son may also be moving away right around the time your younger child will be in Junior High. Those are still peak bonding years for siblings, but your older son won't be around all the time - whether he's in college, or simply getting a job and living on his own.
It doesn't mean that they won't grow up to have a happy, healthy, sibling relationship. And it doesn't mean they won't truly love each other. But their lives and circumstance will be so far apart at any given time, that it may be hard for them to truly bond.
Ultimately, it will be up to your older son to put in the effort himself to bond with his younger sibling over the years. He'll have to make an effort to spend time together and include his younger sibling in activites; even if he'd really rather be doing something else. The more he is seperate from his sibling growning up, the less they will connect.
2007-01-29 11:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by king_arthur_68 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 7 years older than my sister. I helped out a lot and I loved it. I loved the responsibility, it made me feel grown up. I even potty trained her. I have lots of great memories from her development and firsts. She was always funny and my friends liked having her around (for a while) when I was preteen and teenage. In my early 20s we drifted apart a little, due to school, work and just non-common interests, but now we are very close and get along like best friends. The age difference doesn't matter one bit.
2007-01-29 11:55:18 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Tooth 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My neighbour has an 8 year old daughter. She brought her up for 5 years as a single mum, and then met her new husband. They have a 7 month old son together, and her daughter is absolutely wonderful with him. She dotes on him, and spoils him rotten.
dont fret it will all work out ok. Your son will love the fact that he has a little brother or sister.
Good luck
2007-01-29 11:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by littlekitty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres a 10 year gap between two of my sibs. One is 15 and the other is 5. They get along all right but their in completley diffrent stages of their life.
2007-01-29 11:45:27 · answer #7 · answered by Alila 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mom has when my baby sister was born, i was actually pretty happy to have a new child in the family.
Let your son have chances to hold the baby, he will probably be excited to have a new baby brother/sister.
2007-01-29 11:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by Zack N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm my first is 13 my second 11 my 3rd is 2. i dont know how it is with boys but my girls loved having a new baby to play with, living dolls are great
2007-01-29 11:34:18 · answer #9 · answered by jennifer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋