My wife who used to be my confident and companion has regressed to just one step above my children when it comes to having a conversation with. It is more than that though. I am out in the real world all day long with real issues and other adults. She has friends that she and the kids do things with but they are all stay at home moms also. They all live in a very narrow and very protected world. I make a good living and I am happy she can stay home but I would like her to be a wife as well as a mother. Many times it truly does feel like I am the only adult in the house. She does take care of the kids, that are not the issue, but many times I come home and whatever she has been thinking about all day and wants to talk about is as crazy as what my 5 year old want to talk about. Does anyone else have this issue?
2007-01-29 02:51:55 · 15 answers · asked by Johnny S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If it ever seems to you that your wife and the mother of your children is out of touch with adulthood perhaps it's because you don't spend enough time taking her out into the "real world" for dinner, dancing, movies, and romantic walks. I can assure you she is NOT a child but a valuable partner. If you want to see what she does every day, just ask her to NOT do it for a day. Let you come home to dirty clothes, dirty dishes, dirty house, no dinner, no grocery shopping done, bills left unpaid....get the picture???? Perhaps if you were doing your part to give your wife what she needs from a loving mate who understands how crazy her days are, things would get better.
2007-01-29 03:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by missingora 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay I am a stay at home mom. I work in my home I watch a 2 year old every week. I don't make much but at least I make some money. My baby is almost 4 months old and she is a 24 hour 7days a week job. She is a very needy baby too. Even if I was to go back to work my check would pay for childcare for my daughter to be in and just have very lil left over. Yes it's hard but I clean the house I take care of our child and dog. I make sure all the bills get paid on time and we get our mail. I make sure laundry gets done. My husband works mostly late hours so during the day he sleeps. Which makes so he can't clean the house. Yes once in awhile I hang out with friends but most of the time I try to do stuff for this family. So not all work at home mothers are bad... Sometime you husbands don't understand everything we do.
2007-01-29 03:01:01 · answer #2 · answered by The H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stay home with the kids for a couple of weeks and see what it is that you have to talk about. It's hard especially in this day of age for a woman to stay home with the kids. There are so many opportunities out there for women, that they don't have to be dependant on a man. So, when a woman makes the choice of staying home with the kids to make sure they always have someone there for them and to take care of the house hold and give up her independence then, the husband should be greatful, even if she doesn't have much to talk about that interests you. Otherwise she can get out there get a job, and you can split the responsibility 50/50 and you get to clean the house, cook, and take care of kids, and she can go find conversation suitable for an adult. How dare you say your wife is only one step above the kids, she has sacrificed herself for her family. And here you are whining about conversation, take a step back and a real good look, the immature one here, is you.
2016-03-29 08:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is called mommy mush mind--trust me, I was a working mom and became a stay at home mom when my second son was born. I was the primary bread winner, I have an education, and worked as a CPA--Not only that I was a single mother with my first son for the first 9 years of his life...staying at home changes the whole personna of a woman--it is a HUGE difference from the "real world". Try getting her involved in a book/coffee chat club, get her to take some classes at your local community college (this can take place at night, when you can have quality time with your kids and she can get a break), most people in college have a career in mind, therefore she will have something to talk about besides sesame street and organizing the baby room. Find a hobby that she could take a real interest in like handwriting analysis, poetry or a book club, or have her volunteer at a local church, good will, salvation army, or red cross. Give her something else to talk about besides the kids and the goings on of their poop and what little Johnny flushed down the toilet today. Good Luck!!!!
2007-01-29 03:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any idea what being at home with little or no adult contact does to your brain cells after awhile? Do not get me wrong - I work from home and am glad for that in that I can be home with my kids and not have them in day care, but after 10-12 hours of NO ONE else to talk to to but the kids it tends to make ya a bit goofy.
Then add that your evenings are usually occupied by the childrens activities, or their schedules - you rarely get a chance to be an adult!
My husband knows I get "kid punchy" and understands my need to get out into the grown up world once in awhile. I have a book club, and professional organizations that I belong to that help to keep me in touch with other people my own age.
Trust me - spend a couple of weeks where you are the only adult with the kids, with no outlet - you will feel yourself slipping into the same mentality as your wife.
Encourage her to have "things" of her own - she can't be a good mommy if she's not good to herself.
Now if you'll excuse me - Dora is going exploring with Boots and I just can't miss the plot!
2007-01-29 03:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by Susie D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To some extent, I do have a similar problem. My wife stayed at home and raised our kids. At that time, we needed her at home to do just that. The kids are all gone now, and she wants to do things when I get home from a hard days work (because she has been inside all day). She has no life outside the home, but blames me for not having friends over (all of whom she has previously nixed for some reason or other). I have suggested that she go to work somewhere to get her a life, but she has settled on the habit of staying home. Now, I said that to say this----
Your wife is still salvageable. Don't let her continue in the mode that you are in. She may not realize what she is doing to you. Get a babysitter on occasion, and get her out of that environment - tantalize her with a better existence - you will have to make the difference. I waited too late on mine.
Make a calendar of "event" for you guys to do together (no kids), and then follow through. I know this will take some work, but if you don't act, you will fall into complacency and end up like me. Good luck in your endeavors.
2007-01-29 03:06:14 · answer #6 · answered by Doug R 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My wife is home with our kids and sounds lot like yours. The difference is that my wife volunteers at the library and a shelter 2 nights a week. I spend some quality time with the kids and she not only helps the community but is able to have conversations with other adults. Hope this helps!
2007-01-29 02:59:45 · answer #7 · answered by rickeber31 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The "real world" is your wife and children. Your issue is that you are a bit selfish and inconsiderate. Have you ever given your wife a break and watched the children yourself so that she could get out and explore some interests of her own? Have you hired a sitter and taken your wife out to dinner, movie, the theatre, opera, ballet or even a weekend getaway? Your wife needs her own interests and identity other than your wife and your children's mother. Put yourself in her shoes before you judge her.
2007-01-29 03:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by Coop's Wife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband does not, i am a stay at home mom because i believe its my responsibilty to take care of the kids not a day care but i also do online college as well. my husband is a soldier and is deployed in iraq but when he is home i do not act like a little baby i talk to him like a adult and we have a lot of fun as a married couple but we also spend a lot of time with each other and the kids as a family because that is what we are.
2007-01-29 03:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by daisy322_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the bad part about it. She's sheltered. You have to be more understanding as you do have insight on this matter. Be more compassionate and more patient.
You don't want to loose interest in your marriage. Talk to her, tell her how you feel. Encourage her to take a part time job or go back to school if you think this would help her social skills.
If you don't stop feeling this way, you may go down that road called, " seperation " soon enough.
2007-01-29 02:58:26 · answer #10 · answered by Lana817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋