Just wondering if I am supposed to get like my cake and punch servers, guestbook attendant, and hostess a small gift? These people are my good friends or realtives, and my mom says shes never gotten anything for serving cake or anything like that so you don't have to, but I just wondered if she was just an exception and you actually are, or if giving them something isn't typical. I'm not talking a huge gifts, just a nice candle or something like that to show I appreciate them, but if that would be wierd I don't want to.
Also, I have a good family friend singing in the ceremony---do I pay her since I am paying the friend whose playing the trumpet, or should I get her a gift ceritficate to go eat or something, or will a nice thank-you card suffice? whats the general opinion!? Thanks!
2007-01-29 02:46:59 · 13 answers · asked by ASH 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
what about ushers? I mean they have to spend just as much as the groomsmen to rent a tux and all, not to mention they are all big buddies, he just picked the friends he had been friends with the longest to be groomsmen......should my fiance get them something as well?
2007-01-29 03:04:44 · update #1
Why don't you just all the servers really nice thankyou cards, with a thoughtful handwritten comment in it. They shouldn't expect any more, and that would be a nice way to thank them. My wedding did not have that many people doing jobs, but the ushers didn't get anything (wouldn't expect to) except a nice day. We gave the band/organist a box of choc to share because they were putting themself out, and not family. I think if you are paying one friend to play the trumpet then it's only fair to pay the singer really though (or in voucher/gift form).
Have a great day!
2007-01-29 03:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by iccleanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
congratulations on being such a thoughtful bride to be. yes, you should give them a small gift of some kind. normally both your attendants and the groom's attendants receive thank you gifts from the happy couple.
i think its a cop-out when people suggest being part of a wedding party is an honor. yes it is an honor but its generally quite an expensive honor.
if you are paying one person to perform at your wedding and not another you may be asking for trouble. sooner or later it will come out and you will have some explaining to do. so yes you would pay your friend to sing.
token gifts could be anything from beautiful beeswax candles, to a box of fine chocolate, a bottle of wine. you could also give each of them an invitation to go out for dinner after you are back from your honeymoon. you will want to share photos of the wedding, honeymoon, all of it and your attendants would love to be part of that. pick a nice middle of the road priced restaurant, make a reservation and you pick up the tab!
whatever you do, do it with style and grace. congratulations.
2007-01-29 21:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A handwritten personal thank you card would be lovely to give the people who are helping you at the wedding/reception. I would also present them all with corsages/bouteniers for the ceremony, and a small token for the singer, perhaps cash or a gift certificate.
2007-01-30 02:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by Lynny K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wonderful that you have so many people who want to part of your wedding. Would you agree that most, if not all, of them agreed to help out because they wanted to be there for you and be part of you and your fiance's special day? If you feel compelled to buy them something, that's entirely up to you. Customarily, you wouldn't be obliged to give them something, but I think a small candle is a nice remembrance for them, along with a thank you note. If your friend who is singing in the ceremony expects to be paid, I think you should have worked that out beforehand. I would bring up the subject delicately and see what her feelings are. Perhaps she wants to sing for the sheer joy of singing - I really doubt she expects you to pay her for it.
Above all, enjoy your wedding and many happy returns for a blessed marriage.
2007-01-29 04:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by risa_rific 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I have been servers before and it is an honor to serve at a wedding!! The only ones you have to worry with are the bridesmaids, maid of honor, groomsmen and best man!! I hope that it helps!!
2007-01-29 02:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by chrissy P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have human beings serving the cake and punch? many times the reception venue does that. yet besides, those human beings does not in many situations be viewed as area of the marriage social gathering, yet seeing that they're form of taking over a crappy interest, that's advisable to grant them a token something, at the same time with a contemporary card.
2016-12-17 05:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by nokes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay anyone who sings, plays music, directs wedding, performs ceremony(minister)friend or not. Gifts for bridesmaids and flower girl at bridesmaid luncheon. Greeters, and servers are given corsage to wear at ceremony.
2007-01-29 03:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - you have already given them 2 things:
1 the honour of being at your wedding
2. the honour of being invited to contirbute to your special day. Words and a nice card can mean so much more than a hastily bought gift!
2007-01-29 02:51:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they are your friends and family, this is their gift to you and your spouse for your wedding. you shouldn't expect a separate gift card from them, so i wouldn't think you have to give them a gift, but don't forget to add them to your "thank you's" list. of course, some of your "wealthier" friends or family, might do both, but usually they are doing this for you in lieu of a gift and a thank you note along with all the rest you have to do, should be fine. congrats and good luck!!
2007-01-29 02:57:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt pay people for serving, family should be willing to help. ANd it isnt required to get them a gift. Remeber your feeding them, that is enough. I would offer your friend singing a little something. preferably a little cash inside a thanks you note.
2007-01-29 02:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋