my boyfriends brother has a gf that everyone in the family hates,,,yesterday out of the blue she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids...i didnt even know they were getting married, my bf will not even agree to go the wedding because this girl has caused nothing but drama since she met his family, we are not even friends , i said yes because i was so shocked that she even asked me, now i regret saying yes,,,i dont know what to do...advice please!!!
2007-01-29 02:37:17 · 15 answers · asked by darlene44615 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Be glad your a women and only have to look pretty and smile.
You could be the best man in a wedding that you don't think should happen.
Makes for a really awkward toast believe me.
2007-01-29 02:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by fuddlynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does everyone in the family hate her? Is she the only one bringing in the drama or is it really a two way street? Perhaps she wants to try bridge the gap with the family. Asking a direct family member to be in the wedding might be too much, but you are in a perfect position - your boyfriend is the brother of the groom so perhaps it is the first step.
Are you worried that saying yes will put you at odds with the family?
My advice, talk to the bride and flush it out. Tell her that you feel humbled that you were asked even though you guys do not know each other and perhaps she can tell you why you were chosen. I think that you will be in a better position to make a final decision once you guys actually sit and talk.
2007-01-29 04:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by nnaming2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how far away the wedding is. If its in a matter of weeks, you might be stuck, because its not fair for you to leave her in a bind just because you didn't take the time to think out your decision. If she'd have more then enough time to find someone else, sit down and talk to her. Apologize. Tell her that considering you and her don't really know each other, and the wedding is causing alot of tension amongst your boyfriend's family, you don't feel like you are the best person for the job.
2007-01-29 02:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by ♦Hollywood's Finest♦ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want out, tell her that you felt honored to be asked, and that is why you intially said yes, but since having time to think about it you think would enjoy yourself much more as a guest, that you don't have the time to do the job justice - basically convince you'd you'd be a terrible maid, and she should be happy you care enough about her to say no (LOL) And say you would be happy to help her in anyway - she likely won't ask. Make it about you being uncomfortable than anything personal.
But you have a lot of factors to consider...does she have anyone else, will this create more drama for your bf's family to have to deal with, essentially - what is the "cost" of backing out. Consider this before pulling out.
And you do need to go - as the one person said - the brother has made the decsion, and short of talking him out of it - the family should then support him in trying to make this work (and pray they don't have kids right away!)
2007-01-29 02:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have faith me, that may no longer the only subject they are going to attempt to stress on you and the money often is the reasoning in the back of why they have an excellent to dictate. Please pay attention to me. First this is going to likely be your sister, then that's going to be the bridesmaid dress you p.c.. out that they do in comparison to, then that's going to be the place the reception is, then that's going to be what form of foodstuff, blah blah. Do you get what i'm asserting? positioned your foot down now. i be attentive to this is troublesome, yet for the sanity of your self and your fiance, you ought to. once you're waiting some years to save, then save for the marriage you have the money for. What do you like greater? a huge wedding ceremony which you will no longer delight in and you will resent and be depressing, or only somewhat of a smaller wedding ceremony on your budget which you have have been given desperate and you're happy with? The sister being in the marriage is only the commencing up. Nip this in the bud together as you may. sturdy success.
2016-09-28 03:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by lachermeier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be in the wedding. You said yes. Plus, it sounds like everyone is against this girl. Don't perpetuate it. If your bf's brother wants to marry her, he should be supported. If you pull out, you'll only be perpetuating the drama, right?
I think you should also watch the movie "The Family Stone."
2007-01-29 02:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want to be a bridesmaid, let her know ASAP. Say you are honored that she asked, but are unable to participate. It is her big day and she deserves to have people who want to be there. I had a member of my wedding party who was a disappointment from day one, and I wish she would have told me she did not want to take part. I would have found someone who did. Don't suffer through it, tell her how you feel.
2007-01-29 03:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit her down and tell her that due to the nature of ya'lls relationship (yours and hers non existant relationship) that you just do not feel comfortable being a bridesmaid. Or you could tell her that you do not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable (your boyfriend) and that you just simply can not be in the wedding. Honesty is the best policy.
2007-01-29 02:43:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My feeling is that since you agreed you should go ahead and be her bridesmaid.You cannot judge her by the feelings toward her of other people.You must judge for yourself and who knows,you may get to like her.I think it would be cruel to back out now.Put yourself in her place and then decide.Your boyfriend should set his feelings aside and support his brother in this along with the rest of his family and not regret things later.I'd watch myself around this family if I were you.
2007-01-29 03:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you already said yes, I'd either grin and bear it
or if it's a summer wedding (and your bf wont be there anyway...claim there's a wedding in your family on that date, and you didnt realize, are sorry, etc...
But I suggest just going through with it since you already said yes.
2007-01-29 02:42:43 · answer #10 · answered by Mellissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋