My 7 yr. old makes great grades, and is very likeable She just can't seem to get the whole " Rules and Consequences" routine. I need some advice on what I should do to get her to better understand WE MEAN BUISNESS!!
2007-01-29 02:17:36 · 14 answers · asked by nicolemcghee4 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
This is a big part of the age. I am homeschooling my son who just turned 8 and we struggle with this. He seems to think he is an equal. Part of the problem is he was an only child for so long and we included him in so much and the other part is that he is very bright. So of course he knows everything.
We are seeing a little bit of a change by just having a strong schedule and being consistant. We set time limits and offer rewards for things he does the first time we ask him. We have a chart for chores (make bed, clean room, empty dishwasher, 2 hours of schoolwork, brush teeth, put clothes in hamper, put shoes in closet...things we have trouble with.) and he gets paid 25 cents each time he does it, but if there is attitude or we have to ask more than once, he still has to do it, but he doesn't get paid.
A lot though we have to believe is consistant correction. Consistant consequences. Eventually he will learn what he can and what he cannot get away with.
Good Luck
2007-01-29 04:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by micheletmoore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be consistent. She probablly sees that you back down when she cries or gets upset because you would rather not deal with the noise level. Find a punishment and remove her from the situation that has arisen. Take her to a quiet spot and have her apologize for the action that led her to the consequence.
Tell her the rules are there for her safety, not as punishments.
She may be very head-strong and just like thigns a certain way but she needs routine so keep up with the disciplinary actions as she will see that broken rules mean less fun. Be consistent for as long as it takes.
2007-01-29 10:25:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it "hurt" theoretically speaking. Kids don't understand the woosy time outs and such. Big deal. Take away everything and anything - no tv, no phone, no nothing.
You and your SO have to be together on this and consistent. No going to the other to get out of punishment or get it reduced. Make the cosequences the same for the same offense. If you say it, then you'd better mean it. The first time you back down or let her off, she's got you. If you use words like "never" then you'd better stick to it.
2007-01-29 10:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very easy to solve such a problem but you say she makes good grades and is very likeable. This does not really fit into being defiant.
If you mean that she is disrespectuful of you and teachers, a good spanking on the bare-bottom will take care of that. Not to injure but to give a good stinging to.
2007-01-29 11:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well i would set her down and talk to her about the rules and consequences. when she does something that she is not suppose to do. give her a reasonable punishment like groundings for example. after she gets done being grounded ask her why she thinks she got grounded. talking about what she did will make her realize that their are going to be consequences for her actions.
2007-01-29 11:19:50 · answer #5 · answered by liznjames_08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to sit down with her and give her the ground rules.
Next, you have to punish her, ground her or take her favorite things away for a week. Now you have to tell her that if she gets in any more trouble she's going to get a spanking. Sometimes the threat of a spanking is all that is needed.
If she calls your threat you'll have to spank her, so be sure you will follow through with the punishment, if you don't it will make things worse.
2007-01-29 11:04:28 · answer #6 · answered by Donna S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do not threaten!! not even once. warn her when she first wakes up, or at some early point in the day before she acts up and then, once she does, do what you said you would do. Threatening does nothing for children, especially if they have been getting out of control and getting away with it. tell her what you want her to do and if she doesn't do it, go through with the consequence that you tolfd her about and dont think twice about it!! good luck!!
2007-01-29 11:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by kd_bug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have always called 6-10 the hard lesson years!! The kids need to learn the harder lessons of life. Ground her hard right when it hurts. For mouthiness and defiance ground her-no overnights, no phone, no computer no whatever makes her happy. She has to learn now or you will not have any control when she is 14 or 16.
2007-01-29 10:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk less, ask more.
Assume the best possible motive consistent with the facts.
And remember that consequences have never taught anyone right or wrong only power and control.
Put your relationship first (before your request).
2007-01-29 11:38:18 · answer #9 · answered by Just Jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm having the same problem with my 6 year old stepdaughter. she's been in trouble at school twice this year for not listening or following directions. so now we are at the point of not letting her do fun stuff and I talk to her every day about listening. shes getting really sick of hearing it, so hopefully my "annoying" her will make her want to stop
2007-01-29 10:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋