My best friend in the whole world tells me a lot of stuff I really don't want to hear about. Well, I don't really mind giving her advice--but last night I didn't even know how to begin. She said her husband was wanting to experiment sexually in ways she wasn't comfortable with, she did really elaborate further. She was upset because he tried something new on her without asking her first, or even bringing it up. Whatever it was it really messed up her evening and freaked her out. So now she's kind of scared to have sex with him again because she thinks he might try it again and she doesn't want that. My best friend is 22, she's rather quiet and a little shy. She says she thinks she's not freaky enough for him and is worried he will get bored with her and wanted to know what I thought she should do...first about how to talk to him about what freaked her out, and then two how to make things exciting for him and comfortable for her.
2007-01-29 01:20:28 · 6 answers · asked by Destiny 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes I agree with you on the talking part BUT that could go two ways in the relationship. First is that the guy would just go off the handle and do something to hurt your friend emotionally or physically(since I don't know the guy) or two he can deal with what your friend is saying. Now if I was your friend I would just tell the guy what he did was not to my liking and don't ever do it again unless you ask or I am in the mood and tell you. One thing your friend can do if grow to like whatever he did....do it in slow but sure increments so that she can enjoy it down the road as much as he does. But that is up to your friend. I have done that a couple times with slowing working in a position or something to my partner. But I hope she doesn't just stay quiet she needs to say something on this one. I hope it works out
2007-01-29 01:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by vblvly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think when marriage come to a certain stage, this is kind of play are inevitable especially she hv a husband who is active in sex life. But this is also subjective and apply to different individuals. Everyone has its own limit on sexual desire and in yr fren case it is rather unbalance, where her husband is high on sex and she is moderate. Combination like this, sad to say is quite difficult to please both parties at the same time. But she should hv sit down and discuss with him no matter how shy she will be otherwise it could ruin her love life. Best time to talk is to begin at a time when he is relax and not horny! And ask him to briefly explain his fantasies to u so that u could digest first and try to accomodate him as much as possible if u r comfortable. If not, tell him u r not ready nicely,gv u some time to use to it. He should understand if he is reasonable, afterall u both hv been together and he definitely knew u r this shy all the way, isn't he?
2007-01-29 02:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by RenRen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to be having this discussion with her husband - not with you. There is the advice you need to give her. If they can not speak with each other about what they need or want sexually, their relationship is doomed for failure. Tell her to be frank and open with her husband. There are ways to have a very exciting and fullfilling sex life without being experimental to the point that she is now afraid of her husband.
2007-01-29 01:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by buggsnme2 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
how did she end up marrying this guy in the first place.. was she a virign when they married.. this is something they may need couseling for.. if he is a good guy he will take it slow and introduce things slowly.. im not someone who likes to experiment... but usually i will try something at least once if it is brought up correctly as long as it isnt to gross..
2007-01-29 01:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by bajajunglemama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to talk to her husband, and let him know that it scared her and that she isnt sure that she can do those kinds of things, he should love her either way and should not get "bored" with her after all he did marry her. marriage is about honesty and trust and without either of those i am sorry to say they got themselves into something they shouldnt have. its sounds like maybe they werent quite as ready as they thought.
2007-01-29 01:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by puppy love 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they have to come to a mid point where she is ok with it and the hubby gets some action. and most of all they need to talk first.
2007-01-29 01:26:48 · answer #6 · answered by DaintyCutie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋