What is the best way to raise trilingual children?

Question

I live in the UK, my husband and I speak different languages that we'd like our kids to learn. Should we speak to them in our respective languages and expect them to pick up English at nursery/school? Should we start with teaching them English to make sure they don't feel left out when they go to nursery/school and can make friends? Or should we speak all 3 languages at the same time??

Answer 1

The best way to learn a language is by natural means and when you are still a child. Speak your native language to your children and also request their answer in your langauge. Your husband speaks his native language to the children and request answers in his language. They will learn the community language from the community enviroment and school. Do not worry about that at all.

Answer 2

Make sure that you speak all three languages in a social context. Children can adapt to the idea of speaking different languages to different sets of people. What they find difficult, is if you speak a particular language to them and them alone, as they feel "picked on". This means making a conscious effort to get them to Saturday school (or whatever) to meet other young speakers of your languages or to any other social gatherings available where they can get used to the idea of other people using those other languages naturally to communicate with one another.

They will pick up English quickly enough at school (as I did), and should have a working knowledge to start with when they go there, but if you're going to speak all three languages at once it's going to be quite a long time before they sort things out. I remember discovering occasionally as a teenager that words I thought were English were not, in fact, used by people around me!

These children do need to learn your languages to communicate with other family members. Persevere!

Answer 3

I read somewhere that the more sounds a child hears in his/her first few years (decreasing until age 10), the better able s/he will be able to mimic sounds later in life...

I was an exchange student with a host family that had an American mother, a German/Danish father in Denmark. The mother never really learnt English well so she spoke English all the time but the kids would speak English or Danish with her. The father wanted the kids to be able to use German for his side of the family so tended to speak more German with the kids. They usually answered him in German. Needless to say, I was incredibly confused living there but eventually I go thru the two competing languages. Their three kids were mother-tongue fluent in Danish, English and German. I also have a colleague who speaks Chinese to her daughter while her husband speaks his native Arabic...she's in a French-English bilingual school. I'm jealous that a 7 year old already has command of those 4 languages!

Sometimes children will resist speaking a language outside of the house ('mommy's language') so make an effort for them to see/use the language with others besides just your family.

In this era of global everything, it would be a shame for your child not to take advantage of learning a language intuitively rather than later in life.

Answer 4

I don't know the "best" way, but I have trilingual children, so I can definitely tell you "an" effective way.

Speak your native language to your children. Your husband speaks his native language to the children. They will learn the community language from the community.

Now our situation is somewhat different, in that we moved from Montreal to Switzerland when our daughters were 6 & 2, and were already speaking perfect /as good as any 2yo English (my language) and French (husband's language) AND we didn't speak German at all (and are still pretty bad). So we didn't have the concern that you might, of our kids refusing to speak our languages, and only wanting to speak what everyone else speaks. But they were fine when they started school (moreso the older one, who was used to school already--school AND German at once was kind of a double-whammy for the younger one). But little kids don't need a common language to make friends.

I speak English with my husband (because his English is perfect and my French isn't, and we met through mutual English-speaking friends) but I know someone in a similar situation to ours who speaks to her husband in Italian and he replies in Danish--at least in front of the kids. I think when the kids aren't there they may use English together.

Good luck! (I'm assuming English isn't your or your husband's mother tongue, although your English is obviously excellent.)

Answer 5

My Swedish friends did this:
They both spoke Swedish to the child the first 2 or 3 years... then the father switched to English with the kids. They lived in central Europe... the child picked up the local language at pre-school and then learned German on his own by watching cartoons. So by the time he was 10, he had a 10 year-old's fluency (or higher) in 4 languages. :)

Answer 6

Speak all three. I would rotate the days as to not confuse the children. Maybe have English on Monday nights in the home, then Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday your language. Then on Friday, Saturday and Sunday your husbands' language.

Answer 7

I would use a mixture of all 3 at home - they'll feel left out when they go to school and can't speak English!
Your kids are very lucky to have the opportunity to be trilingual!

Answer 8

the younger they are, the easier it is to pick up new languages. they need to learn English to make life easy at school and in the future but will also benefit from learning you and your husbands language.

Answer 9

your children will be sooo lucky!!
i agree with the person who said you should talk to them in your own language (i suspect french), and your hubby in his. they will pick up english from the tv, when you go to the shops, at school, etc... whenever you are in contact with the outside world, basically.
the earlier they start, the better they will be. kids are very adaptable, and i reckon languages should be taught earlier.
oh yeah and make sure they learn more languages when they get older :) it will be easier for them!

Answer 10

Possibly in a menage à trois. Normally two languages are enough, although my grandchild seems to be coping with three and I don't speak English to her. (German, Turkish and Kurdish is enough for a start).