is it better to propose with or without a ring?

Question

I'm unsure of the ring she would like (i have had mixed answers from her friends) so would it be better to propose with a ring or without and then we can choose one together. Would she be embarrassed about the cost?

Answer 1

well, my husband surprised me with a diamond solitare - and this was no easy task for him, because I have worked in diamond and jewelry for 15 years - he know's I know my stuff. So, with that said, what did was so extra special to me. As I have worked in several jewelry stores, I can tell you I have worked with couples both ways. If you choose to surprise her, make it a solitare, a simple single stone, then the two of you can pick out the wedding band or ring together - I would not recommend that you get a wedding set, as it may not be quite what she likes. I can tell you this 9 times out of 10, after working with a guy on some ring ideas, when they brought their girl in to actually select the ring, they usually choose something not as big or as expensive as the guy had selected. Remember the ring is a symbol of your love - not a beacon to ward off other males! If you want to pick out everything together, be creative, and get some funny costume ring to pop the question with, just let her know your next stop is the jewelery store! Also, if she has a close friend (who can keep a secret) she will know what she wants - we girls talk about those kind of things! Hope this helps

Answer 2

I've been proposed to both ways.

While it was exciting to see the ring on propsal night, to tell you the truth, I didn't love it. And I felt too embarrased to say anything.
(just one of our problems.... :)

The second time I was asked, we went to the jeweler's together to pick out a ring. I liked that better, but then, maybe I'm a bit of a control freak.

Either way: I personally think it's silly to sink a lot of money into the ring. You could have a nice downpayment on a house-- or take a great vacation-- or pay for the wedding with the money.

I've been married almost 7 years and my husband has bought me many rings that I wear with my wedding band. I guess I'm not a traditionalist.

It's the quality of your marriage, not the ring, that matters.

Oh, and if you think she might be embarrassed, please have a heart-to-heart talk about finances before you do this. After all, whatever you buy will be half her debt as well eventually.

Answer 3

My husband proposed with a pictures of the ring in a box (mine was custom made). You could get her a cheap ring and propose with that so she can pick out her own ring.

Are you two planning to have join accounts? At some point, the money talk has to come up, so it might as well be early on.

Answer 4

That can be a problem. Try to hint to her and see what kind of ring she prefers. Use your best judgment but have a ring. Most jewelers will allow you to return the ring and make adjustments. Work those details out with them before hand, but women like the ring along with the proposal. Good luck and hope you both have a happy life together.

Answer 5

my personal preference is 'without'. and by this I mean, without the 'proper' ring. propose with a substitute ring, like a ring made from a daisy flower - it could be anything. then go together afterwards so that she can choose a ring for herself. most women don't want to hurt the guys feelings if the ring looks retarded and so then wear a ring they are not happy with...and you don't want that! a woman LOVES showing off her ring! I had a ring once that I really did not like...so I ended up not telling anyone I was engaged because I was too embarrassed to show off the ring! this sounds very materialistic, but every woman wants to feel proud when she announces her engagement...oh, my engagement never lasted! and I 'lost' the ring!!!

Answer 6

#1 u can't put a price on love so the cost shouldn't matter.. hint: don't tell her how much u paid cause it doesn't matter... #2 stop asking her friends, u'd be better off asking family.. have one of her close relatives take her ring shopping to get an idea of what she would like if ur concerned.. let them act like there picking out a ring for their guy to buy... #3 u can propose w/out a ring if u want but what will u substitute it with?? if u do, be creative...

Answer 7

My b/f proposed without a ring, and then we looked around and he found out what styles and stones I like (NOT DIAMONDS!!!) and he had mine made for me. I liked having a say in what we chose, and I liked the fact it is individual. I agree with another posting up from here that says to ask her family. Although some girls are "all about the ring" but I don't think it is 100% necessary, she knows she will get one.

Answer 8

The beauty of the engagement ring is that it was the one ring you thought would be beautiful enough to put on her hand. The one ring you wanted her eyes to grow wide with tears of joy when she saw it. The engagement ring makes the proposal that mean that much more to both people. It's a symbol of your everlasting love for her. Pick out a gorgeous ring you can't go wrong with and propose to her with it. Trust me, it'll be worth it!

Answer 9

I assume that at this point, you have had some discussions regarding financial matters. Both of you should have some indication of how much can be spent on the ring. I suggest if you know the style of ring she prefers and are sure of the acceptance, purchase the ring and present it in a creative method. I wish you happiness.

Answer 10

It's better with, but not absolutely mandatory.

If you are under severe financial constraints, you should put those concerns ahead; it's hard enough getting started in life without a very expensive ring. I gave my wife my grandmother's engagement ring, which cost nothing and is a lovely ring.