sister, who is 28 and doesn't really like me - we think-or she's slightly upset that we're getting married as she's not married or in a relationship yet, to be our bridesmaid? If not a bridesmaid, something to do with co-ordinating but as her job during the week and at church is all to do with co-ordinating & organising, I think she'd probably feel more comfortable relaxing and not doing the same thing at her brothers wedding as she does at work!
It's really hard as she's always been slightly iffy with me/us and I just want a great relationship with my new sister-in-law! It's really hurtful for my boyfriend and I think it would mean a lot to him if she agreed. But how do I put it without her being offended?? It's either the co-ordinating thing or the bridesmaid thing... the other thing is that she'd probably have to pay for her own bridesmaid dress as I can't afford to pay for it as paying for my two little sisters (16 & 13) dresses...
Anyone else been in this situation?!!
2007-01-28 22:25:53 · 11 answers · asked by Bridezilla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just ask her. If she says "no" don't worry about it and you are marrying her brother, not her, right?
2007-01-28 22:30:16 · answer #1 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her but you should really be paying for her dress if she agrees. If you were not paying for your sisters it would be easy to explain how hard up you were but if she knows this she will be thinking Why are they asking me? If you want a great relationship with your new sister-in-law this is certainly not the way to go about it. Could you not get 3 dresses made for the cost of buying two? There is not real need to ask your sister-in-law at all to be bridesmaid. All things to do with the church isn't co-ordinating and organising. What about asking her to do a reading? Also she could be her brother's usher. I have beento 2 weddings recently with a female usher
2007-01-29 00:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just ask her and say about paying for the dress. Also you could ask your parents to go halves on your sisters dress so you could go halves with your sister in law to be. Tell her it would mean the world to you to have her as your bridesmaid or to help with the wedding, but you dont want to many people helping out with YOUR wedding. Talk to her with your hubby to be and explain how you feel and that you would love a good relationship with her.Its hard as some times sisters can feel that you are taking their brother away from them and they then feel lonely, so making her part of it might help. On the other hand she is 28 and should be understanding towards you two and happy for you both.
Well any way good luck with the sister in law to be and the wedding.
2007-01-28 22:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in that situation, but I do have in-laws . Marriage is a big life changing event and you shouldn't have to do it with worry over something. You can't make his sister like you, or the fact that you are getting married. All you can do is try to include her, be nice to her, and know that you've done all you can to be friends with her. When you get married it is forever. Lots of things happen over the years, births, deaths.... eventually she will come around when you are in situations of mutual feelings. Especially when you have a baby & she wants to see it.
If you don't get along with her I would not let her be included in coordinating the wedding because if you really hate her ideas you're not going to want to tell her and your wedding is suppose to what you want, what makes you happy.
Hope this helps, the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet this morning, lol.
2007-01-28 22:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes i have, just be open and honest with her saying it would mean a lot to her brother. Be open about her paying for the dress and explain money is tight as you both have lots to pay for. Also try lookin at various dresses cheap doesnt have to mean tacky, but affordable.
2007-01-29 00:59:01 · answer #5 · answered by RACHEL FEV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive never been in this situation but at the end of the day - if you go ahead and ask her and she says no - then you know you've made the effort and had it thrown back in your face.
Why not ask her to meet you for a coffee - tell her that you'd love for her to be involved in your big day and that not only would you love it but you know your boyfriend would too.
Maybe you've just got crossed wires with her - chances are she's dying to get involved!
And if shes not and says no = no one can accuse you of not trying!
xx
2007-01-28 22:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just come right out and ask her. Maybe this will ease any tension in the relationship. She may feel honored. She should also be aware that she is liable for her dress. Why stress yourself out trying to pay for everyone's gown? This is your day and you shouldn't have drama.
2007-01-29 02:32:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you would appreciate her being part of your day ask her in what form she would like it might even be both if she wants to be a brides maid buy the dress for her this will help to heal lots of bridges
2007-01-28 23:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her shes family now and shes your bridesmaid insist wheter she acts like she wants to or not let her know she will be there.give her big hugs
2007-01-28 22:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just ask her together,say it would mean a lot to you both.good luck for the future.
2007-01-28 22:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by lynda w 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋