I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months. I have a best friend from scotland who i've known for a few months now, i live in surrey, so we're quite far from eachother, he's called Andy and he fancies me, but i don't feel the same way, we IM each other, text and talked on the phone once and get on really well, but he flirts with me and tells me he loves me, i don't say it back. He texts me way too much, flirting, and my boyfriend doesn't like it which is fair enough, Andy is coming in between us, but i don't want to loose my boyfriend, or a best mate, so what do i do? My boyfriend has recently told me he doesn't know if he wants to be with me, he thinks i'm cheating on him but i'm not, i just have no way of prooving it, its really hard to cope with and i don't know what to do, i love my boyfriend to pieces, but i also don't want to loose a best friend.
2007-01-28 21:23:18 · 6 answers · asked by Yellow 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Since you agree that your boyfriend has a right to be upset, you should try to get him to believe you and reassure him that there is no need to be upset or insecure. The only way to do that is to stop what ever action is getting him upset. The act of being in contact with your best is even giving him doubts and this shouldnt be so! You have to be quite stern with your bestfriend, and tell him not to ruin your life. Silence and unresponsiveness is not the answer! He will only assume you are playing hard-to-get, and will keep at it. Reply his "l love you's" with "but I don't love you!" and see how he takes it. And then dont read his messages, delete them as they come and when he makes a reference to one of the texts you tell him that you didnt read it and so have nothing to say about it. And yeah, love your boyfriend more... tell him, show him, and constantly too, untill you see his spirits rising. If it is possible, hang up each time your bestfriend gets flirty, then call him back later and tell him that you cherish your friendship and would not like it to go sour because of his actions. Sometimes the solutions to our problems involve some pain... I can see that you love your boyfriend, so try to take some pains to show that love for him. I'm currently in your boyfriend's position, so I know how he feels, and now I know exactly what I would do if I was in your position. Goodluck!
2007-01-28 21:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by blueheartz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to come clean with your so called best friend, because best friend wants to see their friends happy, not jeopardies their relationship (especially that he knows that you have a boyfriend). I feel that he is being disrespectful to you because he doesn't appreciate the relationship you are having - and I think your boyfriend is right if he feels insulted and that you are not taking a firm stand and let your "best friend" keep doing what he does. You should put yourself in his shoes and imagine if another girl is doing the same thing to you and your boyfriend.
2007-01-29 05:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by ranselbiru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell to andy openly that u want him only as a best friend. so u love him only as a best Friend and not as a boyfriend/life partner. this type of relationship should be very transparent otherwise the unnecessary confusion may be there.
2007-01-29 05:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aaww..i know how you feel hun! i've been there..well first of all, assure your bf that he's the ONLY one you love..you know..certain guys are insecure and they really need to be assured time and again about your feelings towards them. so let him know, tell him again and again, and if that doesn't work,get him some really sweet gifts or things he like.and tell your pal the guy who seemed to be hopelessly in love with you and you only like him as a friend and you really love your bf very much. if he loves you and respects you, he'll back off. that was what i told my pal last time when he confessed to me.after a while,he finally understood and backed off and now we're still great friends! i know it isn't easy but it takes time and patience. be patient towards your bf. and be honest towards your best friend.
good luck sweetie =)
isabelle
2007-01-29 05:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love your boyfriend you would tell this friend in
Scotland to leave you alone! It sounds to me like you
enjoy the attention that you are getting. Like it or not
you ARE cheating on your boyfriend. So face up to the
reality. Does your boyfriend know that the other one has
told you that he loves you? I bet you haven,t told him that
have you? You have got to choose - boyfriend or friend.
2007-01-29 05:33:04 · answer #5 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
missy, u must pick your own right decision.
2007-01-29 05:35:41 · answer #6 · answered by frozentrain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋