I can't stand my mother in law. She has driven me to the walls for 3 years. Now I have come2 a deal not to see each other much.
She doesn't get the point somehow and moans2 my husband 'she doesn't come2 visit us'. She doesn't seem to realise that in 5 seconds of her conversations she puts me down, too critical, ironic, sarcastic. How could I be with this woman? I am not that young, I am 32. I have learnt2 make my own ways of life! My husband undrstands but his close 2them trying to balance things. Has guilt!
I have handled & can still handle how things are. My problem though starts right now when craving for a baby! This family is too bored & have no hobby. They are waiting for something exciting in their sons lives so they can have something to do so bored they are! A part of me wants a child, a part of me fears of getting close to those monster in laws again who would be called 'grandparents'!!! His father is a dominant greek...Mother in law broke her other son's marriage...
2007-01-28 21:23:01 · 12 answers · asked by Spark S 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
To be honest been their done that they aren't worth it . Don't lose sleep over them they will deal with it . Their are so many mothers out their that their grown son has choosen the wrong wife. But that's mother's for you.and you are probably thinking how stupid.But i guess all mother's are like that i have been through the same first with a man i spent 16 years with and twin babies and i was still not good enough for her precious son.So not with this man .And now with my 3rd child with my husband of 4 yrs still the same.so doesn't matter who you are with their precious son isn't just their for them they have a wife to spend all their time with and they don't like it.They are only your inlaws so don't lose any sleep over them. And if you and your husband love each other than you should have a baby that what you got married for to be together for ever and to raise a family. Not to live for your inlaws!Live for each other! Thats what counts not them!
2007-01-29 01:08:25 · answer #1 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give in to her. Show her that this is YOUR MARRIAGE not hers. I had to do the same thing. Now my mother In law is a much more .. tolerated person .. It might help for you to have a child. She won't be worried about insulting you anymore she will be to worried about the baby and she might be happy about being a grandmother. I can't say that she will be happy cuz I don't know her. But I do know her type. So stand your ground and if you have to tell her what you think and be completely honest with her. Good Luck and I hope everything works out well. And a baby changes everything. It really does no matter what your situation is.
2007-01-28 21:36:01 · answer #2 · answered by p0pad0t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and it doesn't sound positive.
I was even older and still even if somehow we can coop we don't.
That kind of guilty feeling your husband has as ruined my marriage.
But there were other factors too.
I hope for you, you are strong enough.
And as I had the same dilemma about children, I think now, I have been blessed I was not able to have one.
I know, it sounds terrible, but if you re-read what you write, it sounds terrible too.
I really hope it is gonna work for you.
And no matter what, if you want children, go for them.
Then organise yourself not to be dependent of your in-laws.
This is a common error I have witness...
2007-01-28 21:34:37 · answer #3 · answered by klaartedubois 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate "OUTLAW'S" they have driven a wedge down the middle of my family, I just bailed out, I don't talk to anyone, trouble makers, you'll do what I did, and take it for a while until one day, they just annoy you SO MUCH THAT YOU WILL TELL THEM A LOT OF NEW INFO., on how you feel about them ! Then you'll be able to move on with your life, your Husband BETTER pick your side, or tell him that he can go live with "MOMMY" again, Ya better make that part CLEAR !
2007-01-28 21:36:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband must realize that you are his family now and that his parents are an extension. So, he needs to take up for you and tell his mom to be nice towards you.
You need to have kids because you want them...not based on your relationship with your in-laws. Plus, your in-laws will treat their grandchildren very well because the child is blood related...part of them.
2007-01-28 23:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My answer to "she doesn't come to visit us" would be "and you wonder why?!? you can't treat people like that and expect them to come back for more. who do you think you are? how would you feel if others would treat you like that. you don't respect her, how do you expect her to come here " and so on...
It's not about "balancing" things in my opinion, this "balancing" seems to me like avoidance of problems. This kind of people need to be told straight forward that they're way out of line.
They can't tell you when to have a baby, they don't get to run your life, if they want to spend some time with you and your husband that's fine, but they can't try to run your life and emotionally blackmail your husband.
I think your husband needs to have a real discussion with them, not an argument, but a real talk.
Good luck!
2007-01-28 21:39:15 · answer #6 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
talk to your husband about this. when they start to put u down. just say " don't talk to me that way", stick up for yourself and tell your husband to say something on your behalf. they have no right to talk to you in that manner. don't let them visit so often.
as for your brother in laws marriage, i doubt your mil broke that marriage up. their bond must of not been that strong to let a third party break it up. i know your mil might of hand a small part but its not enough to end a marriage.
2007-01-28 23:05:55 · answer #7 · answered by Miki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a child for your own sake, not for anyone else and keep visitations to a minimum, don't let them in any way try to control you or your childs lives. They are how they are and nothing will change them.
2007-01-28 21:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
The best solution is to move to another city ! but mention not your mother in law but some other reason for moving to another city to your husband or try to be polite but ignorant , when you want a baby why not try for it ?
2007-01-28 21:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by Melinda 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Don't NOT have a baby just to avoid the in-laws! Have the baby and if they over step their welcome, put them in their place!
2007-01-28 23:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by Alison 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋