Is homeschooling good for kids?

Question

I want to home school my children, but all the home schooled kids I have ever met were either a) completely nerdy , b) out of touch with reality or c) nerdy when in home school then got out in the real world and became very rebellious (sex, drugs, etc)

I don't want that to happen with my kids, but I still hate the idea of the normal school system. Have I just had bad encounters with home schooled children, or is this the tendency of most?

Answer 1

It may be the tendency where you live, or you may have met totally normal homeschooled kids and never known it.

However, since you have concerns, you certainly have ideas about how to comabt them, right? Are you likely to encourage your children to be really nerdy? The nerdy ones tend to come from parents who have highly structured school time and have the kids go as fast as they can. That or they are the ones who would have been nerdy in school, too. Are you likely to keep them out of touch with reality? I know my kids are fairly in touch with reality. My 9yo more than my 6yo, but that comes with being older. I don't shy away from things that come up.

I think your c) comes from having been too sheltered and perhaps controlled in the homeschooling experience. True rebellion is a reaction to what is seen as too much control. You can make sure you have a good relationship with your child without being too controlling. The others who fall into that stuff are the naive--the too out of touch with reality ones. The kids who are in touch with reality are not tempted by those things.

I know or have met a LOT of homeschooled kids. There are a few nerdy ones, but the really nerdy ones are the highly gifted ones with highly gifted parents. There was no escaping it. I don't know ANY who are out of touch with reality, but I would imagine the ones who get out often are the ones we see regularly and those who lead more sheltered lives I probably would not have met. I don't know any yet who have rebelled once they left homeschooling. I've heard great stories about those who have graduated and moved on, though.

I'll add that I laugh or shake my head every time I see somebody who says we keep our kids from the world or "lock them up behind our four walls". We get out so much that my mother is often surprised if she calls in the afternoon and we're actually home. She used to say when she'd call my cell when we were out, "I thought you homeschoolers were supposed to be at HOME." I even asked my 9yo if she thought she was kept from the outside world too much. She looked at me funny and said no. We run errands together, go to the library, go on field trips (as a family or with other families), attend regular park days where various kids will play various things together or sometimes participate in specific activities together like crafts, she is in skating lessons, both she and her brother will soon be taking swimming lessons, she has participated in a summer camp (where they LOVED her and had no clue she was homeschooled) and will be doing so again with her brother next summer, there are play dates and parties and... To say that homeschooled kids stay inside their 4 walls every day is just nonsense. It may be true of some families, but it's not a definition of homeschooling.

Answer 2

I can see you've gotten a lot of responses on this and much that I would have said has already been said. First and foremost, you need to meet some new homeschoolers; the ones that you've met are few and far between, and it disappoints me that a homeschooling prospective would run into that kind of an example. I have always been homeschooled and although I often wish to be public schooled, in the end I never would have given it up. Home schooling enables you to establish a life-long relationship with your kids. It also lets you set the rules and boundaries that you want for them. I would encourage you to get to know more homeschooling families and also to look at more homeschooled kids. I think you'll find that most of them are very bright and not at all socially challenged. There is nothing about a common homeschooler's upbringing that makes them any different from public schoolers. I will admit that there are some extremes when it comes to homeschooling and that it is definitely not for everyone. Before jumping in, consider that it is a Very difficult task for the parents. Someone once said, "You are what you eat" and "What comes in, comes out." Your children may be influenced by their surroundings; but primarily, they will be looking to you for the answers. I would encourage you to think and pray about this (with your husband, if applicable) very much before you start. Homeschooling is a wonderful thing, and many homeschoolers are successful. I know people who were homeschooled (all the way through) and have made it to such places as the Coast Guard Academy, Yale, and Princeton; in addition to their academic achievements, they are good conversationalists, involved in their communities, and have constant and truthful relationships with their parents.

Answer 3

I homeschool my children, and I can assure you, they are not nerdy or out of touch with reality. The trick is to make sure to provide social outlets. Find neighborhood sports teams (contrary to one answerer's belief sports teams are available to those NOT in school), find a local support group, join the YMCA, have your kids join the Scouts. There is so much to do, they won't have time to be rebellious. I know many, many children, homeschooled as well as public schooled. I know that if you are worried about sex and drugs, then you should school them at home and teach them the dangers of those things. The school I went to for high school recently had to ban cell phones and PDAs because they were being used to text the location of the next bl ow jo b party.

Oh yeah, the homeschooling group I belong to has a twice yearly formal dance like the prom and reunions. They are also trying to figure out how to make a yearbook happen and they have a cap and gown graduation. Homeschooling gets bigger every day.

Answer 4

Homeschooling is customized education.

Some will do it better than others, therefore results can vary.

The key is to carefully weigh the options, other schools, the children, your relationship with your children-objectively, Co-ops and support groups available, social situations available, and more.

Go to a homeschool book fair to meet other parents/families. Observe different types and skills. Also talk with educators who have written curriculum.

Standards are changing in homeschool and high end universities are now seeking these children and increasing their enrollment rate for these children each year.

Parents are teaming up to find the balance of education, ethics, social settings, and more. A good homeschool will always seek information to improve their program.

We have band, PE, yearbooks, proms/galas, foreign language, extra field trips, and the list goes on.

Also, many school districts will allow for combinations, where homeschoolers are allowed to come in for a class or two not available otherwise. Private schools cut their rates for this, and public schools collect extra tax money for the head count. (This is great in case your child is looking for additional band settings, specialized arts, a foreign language in which you have no tutor, etc.)

Mostly consider your atmosphere. Many believe they have to re-create a school setting in the home such as the desk formation, chalkboards, etc. In reality, any area can be a learning area with the right mind set and a resourceful attitude.

Answer 5

I've been home schooled on and off for most of my life and I can tell you it's not for everyone. Some children do become all the things you listed but as for I and my brother that didn't happen.

I always had lots of friends some of which went to regular schools and some whom I met through home schooling programs. I was almost raised in an adult world so I've noticed that I and my brother have been in most cases more in touch with reality and even more so responisble than our peers who went to regular schools.

I think it's all in who raises the child with how they turn out. If you shelter them they may become nerdy little rebellious freaks but if you give them room to grow and learn then like any child they'll become well adjusted members of society.

Answer 6

Homeschooling can be a very good situation if you really stay involved with your children and take their schooling seriously. If you have met homeschooled children that were not "in touch with reality" etc., I believe it is because the children were not taught from the Bible and have no foundation to stand on. We attend a church where many children are homeschooled and the children are well-adjusted, loving, children who care for their families and fellow man. Many of the children have furthered their education in college and graduated in all different areas of study. My three oldest received scholarships at their colleges (three different colleges) and have excelled in all areas. My son is sports editor at his college and socializes very well and is well-liked by all. Both my sons were on home-school basketball teams which by the way played against public highschoolers. Homeschoolers can socialize not only with their peers,but also with adults. I am not the perfect teacher, but God has taken my efforts and multiplied them, as he did with the little boy in the Bible who shared his fish and loaves of bread with Jesus. I hope you will homeschool your children and I am sure it will be a great blessing to you if your heart is for the best of your children. There are many support groups for homeschoolers and opportunities to supplement the education that you can provide. Take advantage of these, too. I have 8 children and am amazed with all that they accomplish and are able to do. Just give them a love for learning and trust God with the rest.

Answer 7

All kids are not nerdy, I just recently home schooled my child and I plan on homeschooling her best friend this year. they are both in high school. the good thing about it is that your child get that one on one help, especially in subjects that they don't quite understand and there are home schools that you can put your kids in that is year round, that means your child finish earlier than others, also there are other kids that maybe in your communities that you can get with and do things with , get active at the YMCA plus take trips get out the house there are lots of things to do while other kids are in public school. you can try it for a year and if you are not happy you can always go back to the public school but you have to be creative.

Answer 8

Let me ask you something. Have you ever been to public school and met kids that were a)completely nerdy b) out of touch with reality or c)nerdy but then got out in the real world and became very rebellious??? I'm guessing the answer is yes. The bottom line is that you will have kids of all types whether or not they are in school or home schooled.

I home school my children and I admit to knowing some really "off" home schooled kids. But I've also known some really great home schooled kids. I also used to substitute teach at an elementary school and I saw the same things among those kids. Some were just really "off". They were in school but they weren't social. They were outcasts and really nerdy. Then there were the popular kids. I don't think any of it has to do with being home schooled vs. being schooled in a public school.

My boys are both well adjusted and popular. They get plenty of socialization through extracurricular activities. You don't need to send a child to school for socialization and that shouldn't be a parent's goal anyway. Plus, if you equate public school with the "real world" then you are sorely mistaken.

I decided to home school because I was a teacher in the public school and I realized what a waste of time it really was. Kids are sent to a building where they sit for 8 hours a day. Most of that 8 hours is wasted. My kids get to spend time outside, at museums, etc and they get much more work done in half the amount of time. Both of my kids are about two grade levels ahead. It isn't because I push them. We're actually very laid back with our schedule. They are ahead because we can get so much more work done in such a short amount of time compared to what goes on in the public school.

I think what happens is that people meet nerdy or strange kids and if they are home schooled they just automatically assume that is the reason for their behavior. So, where do we place the blame for nerdy, unsocial kids who actually attend public school?

Answer 9

Seriously, check out these websites. Then you will get a real taste of homeschooling. It's much better than public school. And like some of the others here are saying, you need to meet more homeschoolers. There is MUCH more of the rebelion and nonsense in public schools.

www.nogreaterjoy.org
www.visionforum.org
www.visionforum.com

Note: The latter has some of the best homeschooling material you can find anywhere. Please take the time to look.

Answer 10

I think you should meet more homeschoolers.

Seriously.

I know hundreds of homeschooled children through local groups and through national groups that meet annually for conferences. They are some of the coolest people I know. There are a few who (if you were closeminded and cared more about wearing cool cloths and listening to the right music) would be considered nerdy, but they would be like that in public school anyway, and there have their selfesteem destroyed by mean little kids with no adult supervision.

You know what you don't want, so don't homeschool to protect them. Kids who face real life every day don't need to rebel. Kids who make their own choices don't need (or want) to have sex or do drugs to prove to their parents that they have freedom. Kids in school or out of it who are controlled will use those devices to prove something to the world about being 'grown up' and independent.

It's ironic that you 'hate the idea' of public schools, and yet you want to emulate them by showing so much concern for social acceptance. Modern public schools were created to establish a social norm and generalize civic duties for immigrants and across economic boundaries.