Hi friends,
i am sharing one of my problem with you all. Please help me.
i got engaged with a girl who is from our community. Now after around 8 months i am feeling that i dont like her.
we met only 5 to 7 times in this duration and we have only friendly relation. even i cant say friendly relation.
The main reason for my dislike to her is her personality. She have not attractive personality. And i can rate my self with good personality.
Her nature and attitude is i can say very good. I know that my future life with her will be good. but in my life i ever feel ke i have loose the girl with good personality. And it may lead me to big depression.
Now one another problem is that ke if i dont get married with her, then i have threat that i will hurt my and her parents. And i will feel bad if it will be happen.
I have told her to change her personality, but telling this many times she also felt bad for that. One big thing happen in this 8 months is she started love me. and i have very less love emotions toward her.
so please suggest me that how can i get my dream person?
should i break this engagement or should i continue and marry her.
but i dont want to loose my dream girl. at any cost i want my dream.
please suggest me.
2007-01-28 19:44:13 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hey man!! what wrong with you? either you have lost your mind now or were out of your mind when you saw the girl and gave a yes for the engagement.
Let me make one point very clear. Bueaty is Skin Deep. what you see bueatiful outside on the skin and the body (personality) is just like a product marketing demo. what's inside will be know to you only after you start your association with the product.
You are lucky that you know the girl who got engaged to you is in love with you though it was not the case earlier. Love blosooms over a period of time and not like "love at first sight" is llike "fatal attaraction". It may take some more time for your love to blosoom
now, what is the the gurantee that the girl whom you meet who has a great personality will have the great attitude as your current "would-be" has? (agreed by you)
what if the dreamgirl turns out to be a mean girl?
outer personality and outer bueaty is the reflection of the inner attitude (bueatiful attitude).
think sensibly, consult your trustworthy freinds (parents are ruled out as they will force you into the marraige), seek guidance from marraige and personality consulleors and take a sensible decision.
all the best
2007-01-28 20:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by basics 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you seem to be a sensible person as you care for the feelings of your families. In the first place, why did you consent for getting engaged to her. Before getting engaged, you should have met her some times and discussed your own personalities and like and dislikes. You could have arrived at the conclusion then itself. Engagement is a sign of reservation. Tell the world that she is reserved for you. Now, breaking the engagement will throw bad reputation on the girl too, for no fault of her. She might end up not getting married at all. The best thing in this situation is to get together and discuss in very clear manner what you like and don't like and advise her to mend herself and imrove herself. Nobody is perfect in this world and you will never get a perfect lady of your choice, though you may think like that. There is always scope for adjustment. Life is full of adjustments. That is the way of life and that is the only way to life a happy life. Accept her and request her to make amends to her lifestyle and live with mutual understanding.
2007-01-28 19:59:07 · answer #2 · answered by sunilbernard 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break the engagement. You should never marry for someone else. I'm not against arranged marriage or anything like that if someone feels personally obliged to doing so, but even if this was an arranged marriage, it does not sound like a good match. Plus, you should never, ever ask a person to change. Ever. It will hurt her much more to be with a man the rest of her life who doesn't really love her.
2007-01-28 19:50:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first lets talk abt ur dream girl - what is the guarantee that u will find ur dream girl??
Second - u feel that ur personality is good where as this girl's personality is bad - now what makes u feel so?? tomorrow u m,ay find a girl with the kind of personality u want but she may feel ur personality is not good. then what u'll do??
personality means body?? no. personality means the person's attitude, how he or she carries onslef etc. u said her attitude and nature is good but personality is bad. incase u marry a girl with good personality, what if her nature and attitude is not good??
fourth - a person's life will always be good if u marry a person who loves u rather than marring a person whom u love.
think with a matured brain. beauty is only skin deep. its attitude and culture which is more important to life than beauty and personality.
2007-01-28 20:03:17 · answer #4 · answered by Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did it take 8 long months to know that the girl is not your type. Guys like you are like chameleons. They change their colors according to their surroundings. What is the guarantee that you will not change your decision even after marrying a girl of your choice. It will be a blessing in disguise for the girl if you break the engagement. You don't deserve her.
2007-01-29 00:18:16 · answer #5 · answered by Cave Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say no. dont marry a girl whom u think is not ur type becoz like this neither she will be happy nor u will be. thiking of breakin her and her parents heart then i wud say that this would cause a bitterance of just few days . but if u marry her against ur desire it would cause a bitterness in both ur lives years after marriage until u compromise(which u never will). to go on quietly is a bad idea.the worst words of life r "if i would have". do a thing which u would not regret later.if u think u can successfully lead a life with her 'marry' otherwise don't. dont make her n urs life hell.
2007-01-28 22:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by roll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the first place: Grow up!!!
So you are old enough to marry, but not old enough for confronting with your parents...
A dream girl?? Dream girls only exists in dreams... nothing to do with reality.
But it would be best for the poor girl if you wouldn´t marry her, as you probably would make her life miserable...
Who do you think you are? Telling her, that she must change her personality?? What do you expect?? A robot?? A plastic doll??
Is this your idea of a "dream girl"???
I reckon that the one who needs a change is you and not her...
Do her a favour and don´t marry her, she deserves somebody better than you!!
2007-01-28 22:10:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You marry her thinking you won't hurt her and anyone??
Your relationship will suffer and later you need to live separate lives again. Marrying her is just delaying your separation.
Unless you accept her the way she is. If you love her, love her completely. And do not be annoyed with her personality, accept her. If you can't, then you don't love her enough to be with her.
Be a man. Know what you want. You are such a weakling, you know other relationships have much bigger problems than you...
2007-01-28 20:19:37 · answer #8 · answered by mimosopher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sanilben... gave you a good advise. I hope you take it and pls don't hurt her feelings. Unless she did hurt you. This might destroy her so you need to find a way of dealing with the situation now and after. The choice is yours. Why did you promise to marry her in the first place? What is that you want from a woman you want to make your wife?
2007-01-28 20:13:11 · answer #9 · answered by MEMSA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you tell the girl you are engaged to how you feel. You are not doing yourself or her any favors by marrying someone you don't love and dislike her personality. Give her a chance to find someone else. Your family and her family will get over it.
You find your true love and make yourself happy. Then your family will be happy too.
2007-01-28 19:50:53 · answer #10 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋