I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years. We went though several rough times. Since the last incident which was about 5month ago, I don't think I have been in love with him. Little stuff like table manners, things he says have been irritating me a whole lot. I brought up the break up more than a few times but all he does is break down and cry, call me more and wait for me outside of my apartment to talk to me. I end up feeling bad and eventually things get back to normal. I asked him to give me some space instead of coming on to me so strong, but he can't seem to do it. What should I dooooo?
2007-01-28 19:26:40 · 10 answers · asked by saseebo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Guys don't understand space-- end it and be clear about it. Pestering takes 2, afterall you are answering his calls and letting him in. He'll get the point after a while. Unless he's a nutbag....then ur in trouble, sorry
2007-01-28 19:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by Jay K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you see things really not working out, its best you do break it up asap before even little things make him feel more attatched to you.
come clean with him and tell him that things arent working out and why. dont pin point it to him and make him feel victimised because it will hurt him alot, making him think he's done something really wrong.
also, breaking up with him is an advantage to the both of you because you can start seeing people and obviously so can he.. and he might even be happier in that relationship than he was with you (sorry, that wasnt meant as a put down.)... but as i was saying, point that out to him so he knows that this isnt the end of anything and that he can start fresh as well.
One a half years is definetely a long time, but during that time you both got to know each other well enough to decide if its right to go on or not.. tell him that its not a matter of how long you guys have been together, its the fact that you had that chance and you can start again and make things better for yourself. Tell him that he can move on and that you yourself NEED to move on to new things and that as much as you dont want to hurt him, if you keep up the relationship, it might just hurt him even more.
i hope everything works out for u. good luck!! =)
2007-01-29 03:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you're not the same person anymore, and over the 1 1/2 years you've been with him, you realized that this relationship is not what you're looking for. The thing is, if you already know (and you better make sure you KNOW) that he's not the one, you're only hurting the both of you by prolonging it. Despite how much one cares for the other, if the feeling is not reciprocated, it's only going to be unfair and unhappy times for both anyways.
Just tell him that you don't love him, and that you care enough about him that you want him to be with someone that does.
Do not downgrade to being just friends though. If he's as "clingy" as he sounds, that will just give him more opportunities for him to try to "win you back". Cold turkey. Tell him you need space and BE FIRM.
2007-01-29 03:43:44 · answer #3 · answered by Peter W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't really engourage people to break up. as you see, your problem can be settled.
in every relationships, theres bound to have fight and quarrels. every human is different so we have different views on different things. i think you should respect his views on certain things and you can tell him to do the same too. now you've done the first step to pull you two closer.
if you don't love him, you wouldn't have gotten together with him. there's got to be something that drawn you to him. think back and think about now. think about how the two of you has develope and think how many times you haven't be warm and nice to each another. what mean is that has you two been saying gudnight with each another lately? has he been buying breakfast, lunch or dinner for you lately? have you been telling him that u care for him lately? have ou two had eye contact lately?
he's weak, he cries when u say u want a break up because he loves you until he doesn't know what to do if you leave him. he might not have shown much that he wants you but if you try to speak to him and share each another's views you'll find out.
explain to him u need time and space to figure things out. he has to give in if he really love you and want you to live better.
2007-01-29 03:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by Addicted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have different values it's never going to work. I had a similar experience w an ex who had poor manners. It irked me constantly. Break-ups always hurt somone more. You can't stay with him out of guilt. It is not fair on either of you.
2007-01-29 03:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lucy D 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whatever u do don't break his heart cuz I'm a guy and I've been hurt before. i was with a girl for 2 years and she broke up with me 3 weeks ago and even till now it hurts.
just tell him u want to be friends for now and maybe you guys could try it again
2007-01-29 03:31:35 · answer #6 · answered by WiLLiAm D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all you should break up with him. here are some things that you can do to stop seing him: stop answering his calls, explaining to him that you don't love him any more, egnoring him. and if he refuses you just say that you are seing some one else. i know that this will crush him but you also must think of your self a bit.
2007-01-29 03:36:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do it face to face. Have a script almost in your head. You have to rehearse and plan for responses. If he doesnt get it hire some thugs to "Talk to him"
2007-01-29 03:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Use the classic line "I think we should start seeing other people"....then start to date other guys again.
2007-01-29 03:30:44 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you want to break up, don't wait. just do it straight up.
2007-01-29 03:32:08 · answer #10 · answered by holyitsacar 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋