What can we do to get a two year old to go to bed easier?

Question

My fiance and I just got custody of his 2 y/o son who has been in foster care for over a year. We have tried everything to get him to go to bed but he'll get up numorous times, cry for long periods of time and wake up our 9 m/o who also sleeps in the room. There is a night light and we've tried warm milk, letting him stay up and no sugar during the day. We also make sure he takes a regurlar nap after lunch too. If you have some experience with this please help. I need some surefire things that we can try. thanks!

Answer 1

Create a very steady bedtime routine. bath - brush teeth - story - cuddle - bedtime. Never change it if at all possible...then when he starts to cry do this: the first few nights go in after 1 minute, then go in after 3, then five, then ten, and usually about there they will stop crying before you get a chance to go in. It may be difficult for your nine-month old, but maybe you will have to move your 9-month old into the bedroom with you for a few weeks.

Answer 2

He might be scared of being in a new place and that is why he is crying for a long time when he wakes up. The best hope is that is will pass when he realizes that this is his home and he is not going anywhere. Being two and having a new home with new parents is really hard on a baby. He's 2 and he knows what is going on.

I would suggest having you 9 month old in the room with you until the 2 year old can sleep through the night with out waking him up.

Try skiping a nap or two after lunch, it might make him more tired.

Answer 3

The child needs routine. It will take a while to get him into a routine, but once you do, bedtime will be a wonderful time to read, snuggle, and bond.

We start at bath time. We give our girl some time to play in the tub after all the washing (supervised, of course). Then drying off & putting on the jammies. A bit of snuggly time and a gentle cartoon like Winnie the Pooh. Brush the teeth, go choose a book to read, Snuggle up in bed & read, the bedtimes prayers, smoochies, and it's off to dream land.

After having been in foster care for more than a year, the child is likely feeling a bit disoriented. He also needs extra reassurance that this is his home, he won't be relocated or taken away. He needs stability and predictability. He needs consistent love, attention, and discipline. Once he feels "safe" again, he will likely settle in & sleep better. His world has been turned upside down. He needs time to adjust.

Good luck to you all. The best thing you can do is just love him, and it seems obvious that you do.

Answer 4

You might try laying down with him until he gets sleepy. Also, a bath about half an hour before bedtime and a soothing nighttime lotion will help. A big thing to do is at about the same time the bath gets started turn off or down all the lights, no more tv, or loud noises. Let him know it is time to calm down and quiet down. Maybe a bed time story. My daughter (who will be 2 in a couple weeks) insist on a sippy cup of water everynight but other than that no fuss. She doesn't even drink it but I think it comforts her if she gets restless. Hope something helps. Best of luck.

Answer 5

first of all stop giving him warm milk before bed. that can cause stomach aches in a child so young.

this child spent a year in a different environment. he needs to adjust to his new home, the new ppl in it, the new sounds and smells. he will need time to adjust to your schedule. he's probably confused and scared.
all you can do is reassure him that he is safe, and LOVED. and be patient.
sometimes children need that reassurance to feel safe. he's probably crying because he is scared, or confused. children that young can't talk about their feelings like adults or older kids, so they cry.
it's not uncommon for a 2yr old to get up during the night. mine did from time to time.
just being there with him will help, hold him, read him a book to take his mind off the stress of a new place. tell him you love him....
it won't be perfect all the time. with kids, get used to not getting the sleep you want. your on call 24/7. that's part of being a parent. even when they are older they will have issues in their little lives that you may think is trivial, but to a kid...it's stressful, and can cause them to wake at night scared or lonely or whatever.
like i said, just be patient hon. i know how strange it is to all the sudden have an older child brought into the house from a stressful situation and your routine uprooted.

he just sounds like he's been through a lot hon, and needs extra attention right now.

Answer 6

I have a two year old and a four year old. First off, ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE! That is what will help make all of this stick. Second, talk to the little one. Tell him why you're doing this and so forth. I know it sounds silly, but it works. During all of this, give him good feed back. In your routine, you could have a game you play at night before his bath. If he goes to bed well, you'll play again tomorrow and so forth. My boys never give me crap because they wanna play again tomorrow night. Our routine:
Play a board game (chutes and ladders, memory, candyland)
Bath time (with lavender scents)
Brush teeth, comb hair etc.
pjs
read stories
tuck into bed and tell them how much I love them!

It won't be perfect over night, but it works! Don't forget to ignore them when they're whining. They can't be rewarded for bad behavior!

Answer 7

He might just be scared and nervous. Try a new nightlight, or reading to him. Maybe a teddybear. Cut out the naps, so when he goes to bed hes super tired and move the baby into your room.