I am so unhappy why am I even still alive?

Question

I'm smart, yet I dropped out of high school.
So I finished up my diploma in less than 6 months of dropping out.
I took dual credit courses to get college credit as well as credits to get my diploma.
I'm not going to college.
I have a boyfriend.
We're actually husband and wife, but can't tell our families because they think I'm crazy.
My friends are all morons.
I told them as much.
I have no friends.
I used to cut myself, I can't even cover up the scars with long sleeve shirts.
I stopped cutting myself because my friends told me I did it for attention...
I did it because I was molested when I was young by my stepfather and my older sister, so I molested my little brother, I've always been heavy, I feel so unloved....
I'm sorry, I feel like such a burden...
In advance, I know there will be answers to tell me as much...
Can anyone help me?

I live with my husband in our own apartment.
I molested my little brother when I was approximately 8.
I got molested everyday until I was 15.
I don't still cut myself.

Answer 1

The beautiful thing about life is that you create whatever life you want...the life you have now, you have chosen that, and at every second you can change...rent that movie "What the Bleep". I used to feel so bad about life, and that film Really changed me. I love life, I love myself, and I am so much happier because I know that I am not alone...as Bob Marley sang that song "one love".

If you are unsure of what you want in life spend some time writing in a journal, or making a collage of pictures that appeal to you, or go take a walk and ask yourself a question, or before bed ask yourself to reveal the answer in your dream. You can also ask yourself this question, "if you could not fail, what would you do?"

Also realize that everyday the universe is giving you feedback on how you are living your life....the universe wants you to have the best life for you (that doesn't mean perfect, it means you will experience a lot and learn a lot...a lot of challenges, but in the end you will have come closer to who you are, closer to love and happiness than if you continue to ignore its assistance).

Be the change you want to see in the world. The only thing keeping you from living your dream life is the limitations and negative thought patterns you sustain.

p.s.being the victim and feeling sorry for yourself is crap. my mother was raised in a poor, abusive, uneducated family, and now she is college educated, has traveled the world, and is an extremely sucessful businesswoman, and she finally met the love of her life. There is not reason you can't have that either. Invite success, health, wealth, opportunity, truth, love, etc into your life, you can have whatever you wish if you focus on it....the universe will grant it.

I only say this from personal experience, now, get along little doggie, and make it!

Answer 2

????? Since everyone experiences both emotions, your proposal would son lead to everyone committing suicide. Hardly anyone hates the society and world they are born into. Most love some things, hate others. Society HAS changed; it's always changing. Let's accept what? Uh, most people who want to commit suicide have temporary or treatable problems they don't know what to do about. Once saved and helped, they're grateful for having been saved. Instead of merely having a waiting period, why not help the people who request it, so they can live happily? It's not true that every unhappy person wants to die; nor that everyone who doesn't want to die is happy. People who (think they) want to die don't feel that way because they hate the society or world they're born into, either. Many who hate particular things work to make things better. Just about everything you're basing this on is false.

Answer 3

The reason that you're alive is because the universal forces saw fit to allow that course of events. Life, as difficult as it seems, is a gift to us from something far more advanced and knowledgeable. Your purpose is to be the best possible "you", you can be. This doesn't mean perfection but it doesn't allow room for complete failure either. A flower has to be the best flower it can be. A bee, a butterfly, cats, and dogs all have a purpose. To be the best that they can be. For you, continued therapy, prayer, and friendly interaction may be helpful. But do it to be a better you, for you, not anybody else.
It Sounds a bit simple, but take it from one who knows hardship, misery, and despair, and emerged from the other end of the tunnel. Just try your best day by day to be a better you, and you will succeed. Who knows what heights you'll reach? The world is your oyster if you're an oyster.

Yours in the Struggle to Keep Going,

Rah

Answer 4

Yes for the first thing , you and your husband need to tell your families that you are married, that is your chose not theirs, and it is already done. As for your friends well you really should not of told them off like that , you should of tried harder to make them see where you were coming from. You and your husband need to be together,and to get a place of your own, so that all of these people will be out of your life for now, and you can start a new life somewhere else.
also please do not take up cutting or any other bad habits, after you and your husband move out, and live together, right now you both have enough to deal with, so why not start a fresh start, and if you feel the need to self harm get in touch with a therapist, and go to therapy for it, so you can learn some new ways of coping with the stress in your life.

Answer 5

I think the real answer of any one helping you, would be your self. Everyone has had something bad or wrong happen in their lives to them, you are not alone. You must learn to forgive yourself, first, and love yourself. Get into therapy, or a group of some sort. Try to only do good things to take care of your self, and be good to others. It will take time, this didn't happen over night. Find a person you can relate to, and put your trust in, like a new friend, or therapist. Or perhaps your husband, after all he should be your best friend. You will find the answers in your heart, follow it

Answer 6

Reading this reminds me of myself in some ways and honestly I ask myself the same question quite often. The friends, family, cutting, it's a commonality.
Do you suffer from Depression? Have you spoken to a professional about your past and how you feel currently? I believe that seeking medical help and therapy would probably be beneficial and help you deal with the abuse in your past, as well as address the issues it has created within you.
I hope you are able to find the answers you are looking for and the help you need.

Answer 7

Honestly, you should probably see a psychologist, obviously you want to talk about it or you wouldn't be asking on yahoo. You have some issues that you need to correct so you can live your life in peace and happiness. No one here is going to be able to fix your problems with a simple answer. It would be most beneficial if you were to get some help:) Good luck:)

Answer 8

It sounds like your family and friends are a main cause of your problems. Go out, MAKE yourself go out. Get a new outfit, go out and have fun- meet some new people. Get some self-esteem going. Move away- seriously, you and your husband, just pack up your s*** and go. I used to cut myself as well, so I know how you feel on that aspect. But I never told anybody, not until later. I am on anti-anxiety medications now. The best advice I can give you is to see a doctor, so until you do, here is a hug...*hug!*

Answer 9

Sweetie. You need to talk to a therapist like real soon. You must know that the things that happened to you by your father, was not your fault. He was a sick man. You have alot of demons to deal with and yahoo answers isn't the place that will benefit you most. Call around to some local support groups. If you don't know any, you can check the newspapers classifieds, they usually list them in there. Please, get some help.

Answer 10

You will heal. You're here for a reason, you may not know why, I'm NOT the person to say why, but you will know why when time comes. We all mistakes. We learn from those mistakes. Be positive. NO MORE negative thoughts. Now heads up girl, from here on...you' will say nothing negative about yourself.