I've been seeing a lady (She's in her early 30s and I'm in my late 30s) for six months. We are seriously talking marriage. I have one reservation about her though. She's been married before, and then she was engaged. That's not the issue. The issue is that she got engaged right after her marriage ended (a few months), and now we are talking marriage and it's only been a few months. We started seeing each other almost right after her engagement ended. Is it 2 quick to get engaged?
2007-01-28 17:38:09 · 19 answers · asked by goo 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when in doubt .RUN!
2007-01-28 17:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by hiding1959 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It most probably is. Even if you plan on getting engaged, make sure it is a considerably long engagement. Marriage shouldn't be rushed. Take your time to get to know each other better. Once you do know each other better, you would truly understand why her first marriage & the later engagement didn't work out. And if you feel that those factors will not affect the future of the two of you, then that is the time to start moving ahead with the big plans!
2007-01-29 01:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, yes I think so - considering the fact that she's just gotten out of an engagement, which began rather quickly after her marriage ended. I would be abit cautious and would stop the marriage talk for the next couple of months, and just take it easy - see where the relationship goes.
2007-01-29 01:50:59 · answer #3 · answered by ForeverAnAngel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. My husband and I were actually in the same boat - talking marriage after 6 months. This is how we solved his concern about me being in a relationship with him so soon after my divorce (6 months): He asked me about it in a way that was non-threatening to me. When he asked me to marry him, I said yes and we set a wedding date that was one year three months away to give us more time.
When it comes to relationships, the best advice is this - communication!
1 Make sure you broach a subject at the right time (you're old enough to understand this and to know when the right time is for your girlfriend)
2 Never point fingers... use words like "I feel" not "you make me feel"
3 Ask her for her opinion, see if she has a solution, suggest a solution of your own, maybe a combination of solutions will work.
The hubby and I try to have lots of heart to hearts in neutral situations so we can talk about tough topics without feeling like we are backing each other into corners.
If you love her, pour your heart into it... it's better to have loved and lost than to.... well, you know the rest. Karen
2007-01-29 01:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by Karen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're on the right path when you already see a pattern. I think it's too early to talk marriage, especially if she's been down that road before, and it didn't work out.
I would give it a year or two, and really get to know one another. That's the best route.
2007-01-29 01:43:13 · answer #5 · answered by argamedius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely moving too fast on an issue that is extremely important to both of your lives. Please wait at least another year before entering marriage because you will make a big mistake if you rush into it right now. I understand the excitement of being in love but please don't allow your emotions to overrule your intellect. As the old expression goes "Better safe than sorry".
2007-01-29 01:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide. How does she act around you. why did they devorice. what is her outlook on marriage. Think about it. Maybe even talk to her about it. But keep in mind everything before you get engaged. don't rush into anything. Good luck!
2007-01-29 01:44:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can make it a long engagement, you don't need to marry yet. Then you can see how this work out
2007-01-29 01:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Way too quickly to get engaged, give it some time, wait to get to know who she really is or you'll be setting yourself up to get hurt.
Anyone in that much of a rush to get married so quickly is either too impulsive of a person or has other motives.
2007-01-29 01:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by MsTrust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say no on seeing the short question, but now on seeing all of it I would think yes.
You need to really get to know her and that doesn't mean living together, it means taking your time and REALLY getting to know her before you make any commitment.
2007-01-29 01:43:15 · answer #10 · answered by older mum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good point..
Give it another 6 months and see where her head is at then...
2007-01-29 01:41:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋