I've been dating the same woman for 3 years now and tonight we just ended things. This was her choice and Yes there are many other fish in the sea and yes I'll get over her and have a happy life, so please don't tell me to get over her. I love her very much and would do anything in the world for her. She is my best friend and she tells me the same things too.. She loves me and I'm her best friend. About a year ago she switched to a high dose of Effexor and seems to have her highs and lows pretty much gone. Side effects are no Sex drive and she sleeps all the time. When we argue about anything she just puts this wall up and it kills me. But we love each other and I don't want to give up on her if its the medication that is pushing her to give up on me. She struggled pushing me away, but tonight we ended 3 years together and my heart is broken. Could it be the effexor that is making her numb to dealing with us emotionally enough to end our relationship? Help us please, guide me.
2007-01-28 17:19:02 · 10 answers · asked by Vindicatedfather 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I am on effexor...have been for some time and I hate it. My husband and I have been together now for three years. To be honest, I can't believe he is still with me. I have clinical depression and borderline personality disorder (which you may want to look up...DSM IV). See if it sounds like her. It is actually a very common disorder, but very difficult to treat. Please email me if you have any questions about it or need more clarity.
With effexor, I have no sex drive. Flat out, it does not exist. I still have ups and downs and still cry at least three times a week. I am in bed most of the time. The Air Force deemed me 50% disabled and kicked me out early. Sucked. It was years ago though. I'm over it.
But I have been on soooo many different drugs that promise to help and don't. My psychiatrist just recommended shock therapy.
I don't know what she is suffering from. But stick with her as you sound like you will. My guess is if you've been together for three years and are best friends it's probably a combination of the depression??? and the effexor. Ask about a mood stabilizer. It may help her. I don't know. But don't quote me on that. I am not a psychiatrist. Just know what I have tried.
Depression is not the only thing she is suffering from is my guess. Do some research on personality disorders. The DSM IV will help with that. You may find something that clicks that may help you understand more of what the underlying cause is of this breakup.
But drugs have many many side effects. No sex drive is common.....drowsiness.....Irritability. These are big. Don't take them lightly. They can cause greater emotional stresses than just how they make you feel.
I am trying to write from the heart. Believe me, my husband and I have been there....we kind of still are. But I know it's me, not him. A mental illness like this destroys not just the person going through it but the people who have to be around it. Take care of yourself, too. I know you love her so look all this up. I would like to help. If there is anything I can do just email. I know I've been rambling.....sorry. :( But don't give up on her. And definately don't rule out the effexor. And a word of advice.....TELL HER TO GO OFF OF IT SLOOOWLY!! VERY IMPORTANT!!! she may want to ask about going on prozac when she starts to go off it. Trust me. Been there. I don't want her to go through that withdrawl. Questions? Just ask me.
2007-01-28 18:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by ~Squoosh~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
I suppose it is possible that the Effexor could be creating the "numbing" that you are talking about, particularly if it is a really high dose. The no sex drive is definitely a side effect.
My gut instinct would be that the Effexor isn't working like it is supposed to and another look at a different antidepressant might be in order. What dosage is she on?
I'm not sure how long you have been arguing, but I would hope that once the fallout of tonight passes that you might be able to sit down with her and discuss options including a different antidepressant. As someone who has been on various antidepressants, I know there are ones out there that don't numb you up or change your emotions.
You know... I would almost wonder if the antidepressant is really working at all... just an idea. The numbness and withdrawal almost sounds like a deeper depression rather than coming out of one.
Just my humble opinion.
2007-01-28 17:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by barbieisthe1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, see if you can talk her into seeing a new doctor together.
Anti-depressants side effects are horrible and you really need
to try others when one does not work . I finally found one that
works for me, but still kills the sex drive. If she is happy one minuet and then raging the next, she may be bipolar and need a
whole different medication all together. Talk to her, and tell her you will go with her to see the doctor together and get it worked out. I am sure it is the Effexor.
2007-01-28 17:26:51 · answer #3 · answered by Donna L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah! I could DEFINITELY be the Effexor. Get ahold of a book by Peter Breggin and David Cohen called YOUR DRUG COULD BE YOUR PROBLEM and read up about antidepressants and the side effects and dangers they present. If she wants to come off the Effexor or change to another you and she should both read the above book, plus another one by Joseph Glenmullen called COMING OFF ANTIDEPRESSANTS. Please note that she would need supervision by her psychiatrist to change or come off the medications, as the withdrawal symptoms can be terrifying if not tapered off slowly. Many antidepressants cause sexual dysfunction and along with weight gain, these are the two main reasons patients want to come off them.
The horror of the whole thing is that antidepressants have been very poorly trialled by drug companies before being released to the mass market, so VERY LITTLE is known about the side effects, and even if they are know, are often denied by doctors and psychiatrists who are fed their product information by representatives of the drug companies. Sadly, it's not about getting patients well, it's about paying out huge dividends to the company share holders. You guys can work through this.....
2007-01-28 20:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by cottagencountry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I to am on a high dose of Effexor and have no problems with side effects at all. So maybe the meds dont suit her she could go a try a different one instead of breaking up.
2007-01-28 17:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by cailieco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Effexor is a drug used for people that are depressed, or have other issues such as ADD or ADHD. Could there be she has other health problems? If you go to your computer and enter the word, it will state what the drug is used for and what side effects it has.
Perhaps there might be something else going on with her.
2007-01-28 17:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes it could be, and in that case if she was having side effects, any side effects she should of told her doctor, cause they have medication to counter act the side effects, and if they don't they can try another medication. so why don't you try to talk to her about this, even though you two have broken up, you can still get back together, so see if she will not let you go and see her doctor with her, so you can tell him about the side effects she is having, cause maybe she is to shy to tell him that.
2007-01-28 17:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by Ladyofathousandfaces 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-10 03:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-02-14 22:56:21 · answer #9 · answered by Juan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
medication never works... do the Art of living course, its a natural breath cycles which will heal any depresssion, anger, anxiety from ur system....its simply wonderful, you will feel so calm and centered and full of love !!
www.artofliving.org
also start doing Sun Salutaions slowly....
http://www.sakthifoundation.org/FireTherapy-11.htm
2007-01-29 03:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋