I got pregnant and my boyfriend left and wanted nothing to do with it. I prepared to take care of the baby on my own,stayed in school and got another job. I started dating someone I had been friends with for a long time. We weren't serious, but we were exclusive, and sexually active (always safe.) My baby's father came around and decided he wanted to be a part of the baby's life. We agreed to have an open honest friendship in the interest of creating the best relationship we could to allow us to be the best parents we could be. He asked if I had had sex with the man I was dating, and I gave him the honest answer. He FLEW off the handle, SCREAMED at me for what seemed like hours, and called me obsessively for the rest of the night. Since then I haven't spoken to him in 5 months. I don't feel like I did anything wrong. I mean, I probably should have had the foresight to just focus on the baby (and that's what I'm doing now) but I was in no way obligated to him. Can someone clue me in?
2007-01-28 17:18:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I had to add details b/c I was out of characters.. Anyway, he's been nothing but terrible to me. I've paid all the medical bills by myself and am providing for myself and the preparations for the baby. I am not a bad person, I just dated someone. Is it SO bad that I did it while I was pregnant? Am I just not seeing it? He is threatening to take the baby. I just don't see that I was obligated to him - he left me.
2007-01-28 17:20:11 · update #1
You did what was best for you. You did nothing wrong. The man is a piece of crap for leaving you like that and has no right to be upset with you about anything. Sex during the pregnancy did not hurt the baby, did not hurt you, and had no bearing on him.
Forget him, tell him if he wants to see his child that a judge will have to order it, and if he does, request that it be at a public place where he can be monitored. Most police departments have a "visitation room" that he can use to visit with the baby and you won't have to worry about his rants.
Remember most court systems tend to rule in favor of mothers in cases similar to this. Contact an attorney for an initial consult (should be free) to discuss your options.
I am a father of 3 and I couldn't imagine stepping out on my wife or my children. There is a responsibility that comes with being the father of a child that your ex-boyfriend doesn't seem to understand. For that reason, I think you should move on.
Mr. Right is waiting for you somewhere else.
2007-01-29 02:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by Will 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok he got so upset because you are carrying his child and you slept with someone else. I know even though he left you he has no say on what you do with your body but he thinks he does as you are carrying his child.
Men are just really wierd when it comes to pregnant women. He obviously feels like you have somehow hurt him and his child,by letting another man inside you. Apparently some guys think you cant have sex whilst pregnant. Espeacially with someone who is not the father. its a possesive thing, you are his now as you are carrying his 'seed'.
Men just dont think as logically as us women.
Dont worry love you didnt do anything wrong, but he is an idiot and needs to get over it.
At least thats what I think it is.
Good Luck with everything and I hope you understand what I've said. Men are just NUTS.
2007-01-28 20:44:55 · answer #2 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I intensely dislike (my mom mentioned do no longer use 'hate') the entire infant mama/infant daddy subject. this is rooted in irresponsibility and chaos together as a baby suffers. stay faraway from the entire mess! this is greater advantageous to haven't any guy in any respect than one which is often on the prowl for yet another infant mama to enhance his ego. And definite, it is the worst threat of all, which you will develop into one greater 'infant mama' to function to his chain, it is his existence's purpose.
2016-09-28 03:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being stupid, but I do think it is unreasonable to be in a sexual relationship so quickly after having your child. I mean, at this point, your child should be your life... you shouldn't have time for another guy. But as far as the child's father goes, he had no right to yell and scream at you. That is awful, and you should not have to feel sorry to him.
2007-01-28 20:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without playing games, don’t be available 100% of the time or let your life be an open book. A man that comes on too strong or doesn’t have outside interests will scare a woman away just as much as it would if the circumstances were reversed. Read here http://AttractAnyWoman.emuy.info/?MFIM
Women don’t want to feel as though they are completely responsible for your happiness and that is what it feels like when the other person has no outside interests. Men who are overeager or jump when the woman says jump are the ones who are more likely to end up in the friend zone. This doesn’t mean that you should play the game of not calling for a few days; it means that you should set healthy boundaries until you both naturally find a spot for the other in your lives.
2017-02-16 21:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didnt do anything wrong, you werent with him, he probably just got mad because you were pregnant with his baby but apparently he doesnt want any part of it so I wouldnt worry about it, hes probably just jealsous. Congratulations on your baby
2007-01-29 01:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋