Never Excited! Am I Depressed?

Question

I have partial memories of child molestation from my sister when I was very young (minor touching). Not sure if it happened more than once. In elementary school, I spent recess with my head down instead of playing with the others. Today, I rarely get excited about anything, even things I should be totally crazy about. At 26, I've only had two girlfriends (one in high school) and now, whenever a relationship doesn't work out, I spend countless hours asking myself what could possibly be wrong with me, which becomes very depressing to the point of thinking about suicide every hour of the day; though, I'd never actually do it. When my boss says something negative about my performance, it really hits home. I'll spend a couple weeks dwelling on it until I hate my boss and life altogether. Am I depressed? I've been to a psychologist 3 times but I felt like she was trying to get me to analyze why I feel this way. I've already over analyzed everything to the point of exhaustion!

Answer 1

No doctor can fix this problem, you can look at it many different ways but for me, I have been there, no joys no happines that wasn't brief, nothing really to smile about, talking about it with most people made me feel worse because I didn't need the usual or I have already though about my life like that...hard to look at the bright side when I just weren't seeing them. I thought about killing myself alot and the thoughts were just there, I had a friend that I hadn't seen in a while, she started telling me why I was having these feelings, it was more that just depression...it was bad. She told me that I was in lack of love, the love that God gives us, I believed what she was saying nothing else worked and this is sounding better to my heart than anybody else said. Jesus is the answer and He love us greatly, that lack of hope is because He is not in your life. Find a church get involved with happy people that care about your well being, Pray.Go on line. my favorite song that just always makes me feel better...http://www.andiesisle.com/icanonlyimagine4highspeed.html
It was the best thing I ever did in my life I am so much happier now and through all the tough times I know that God will be right there with me, he gave me hope...It is a great thing..forgiveness of the past, you feel it leave you, It don't hound you anymore to keep you down, I learned amazing things that have really helped me in my life. www.kcm.org click on the salvation part, one of my favorite site and Joyce Meyer Ministries love listing to her too, real life stuff, Good luck in your life, it can be the best, Pray from your heart, and you'll know that He his right there waiting for you, to heal your hurts. He will.

Answer 2

Well...I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see a psychiatrist and see if some meds can take the edge off things for you...and I sure do understand not matching well with a counselor. You don't need to analyze WHY you feel this way...I mean, it can help to go back to stuff that might be the root and work on those issues. A lot of time when we are young and bad stuff happens to us, we change the responsibility of it from the other person to ourselves...and essentially, we get "stuck" in a developmental stage where everything becomes "black and white"... There's just so much that can be the cause of the negative feelings you mention.

One thing I caution you about is using the word "should"...there are very few real "shoulds" in the world. Things you "should" be happy about? Well...like what? Graduation? Well, if you're not excited about what happens after it, why would you be excited about graduation itself? There aren't any "wrong answers" really...everyone is individual.

It's interesting that you point to that childhood incident. Perhaps you think it is the cause of all the problems. It could be...might be other things. I think you ought to ask your therapists questions before you agree to stay on as a client - ask them what their theoretical orientation is. Someone dealing with grief and loss due to the type of experiences you mention really benefit from cognitive/behavioral therapy. You've learned some wrong stuff about yourself and you perpetuate those beliefs in your actions (mostly subconscious) and so you need someone to help you gently challenge those thoughts so you can rebuild your framework about yourself in a more healthy way. Don't be afraid to keep looking for the right person - ask if they have any history of working with trauma...best wishes to you!

Answer 3

WOW!!! I feel sorry for you, I think you should not take things so personal, This is a cruel world and some people are mean just because they can be, that's cool though because those people will have their day, I believe "what go's around comes around" and the thing with your sister, I don't know what to tell you, if you have partial memories, maybe what ever you think happened, just might not have happened the way your remember it, And just to let you know about living with the the other person (he/she) , I have been married 5 years and we fight every now and then, but we make up and forget about it, don't let people walk all over you, look at things on the bright side, good luck,

Answer 4

Yes I believe that may be the problem all this anazlying everything to the minute detail. Just let go... and be free..don't fret over things done now.( over anazlying).. and try to let go of the past.( Forgive and rememder, but make peace with yourself).

I know I have a past myself.. and its easier said than done for
sure...When things happened to me in my past I reflect on them and think that is why, I am the way I am today and it doesn't help me move forward..Since when you focus on all that is wrong "with you" and what you "can't do", or what your "feeling is wrong", you forget about all the good, "what you can do" and what your "talents" are.

Realizing and being aware of yourself the ins and out is good but "don't focus your life on the bad".. look for the positive in everything.

Due to my upbringing, I have a problem with certian relationships, I can never feel comfortable with my father or older men. Its always business relationships.. I wish I could figure away to get past the feeling I have but I can't.. I am just going to look past it and move on and not let it stop me from enjoying life.

I understand how things can affect you too.. I am really sensitive to criticism from my father.. and when my father in law made a cristicism on my personal life.. it left me in tears when he left..

You could be depressed, I would continue to get conceling and maybe go see a doctor.. Sucidal thoughts are not healthy.. I know with things from my past.. I have never felt like taking my life.. because although stuff has happend I'm not going to let the "past" destroy my chances of a "happy future". Press forward, write down your thought into a journal, and speak to yourself what can I do to "make me happy".. what can I do to feel better and improve the situation.

Believe in yourself and all that you can do.. The more you see what you can do.. you'll find passion in that.

Answer 5

If you contemplate suicide, you probably are depressed. I'm not one to advocate for medication, so try some other things first (like exercise, changes to your diet, getting a new job, etc.). If you try a lot of things and nothing works, talk to your doc about getting an anti-depressant. My stepdad was depressed for years...he's been on Prozac for about 20 years now and he's content. Not the happiest guy I know, but definitely not depressed anymore.

Answer 6

I have been going through these same symptoms for nearly 20 years ( I am 34). Yes, you are depressed. Now every morning you arise from your bed, be happy that you have another chance to find something to be happy about. Look for reasons TO BE HAPPY, and stop looking at the things that make you feel depressed. Change the world to make you happy, at all costs. Depression WILL, if left unchallenged, destroy your life!

Answer 7

well first just time to take it easy cause life is a wonderful thing and what happen to you when you was a kid yeah that could be a bit of why you feel that way but hey if i was you if i get into a relationship try not too make it seem like every women you meet is the same cause there not so just take babe you will be alright god bless

Answer 8

sounds like anxiety to me your head constantly thinking about the negative events that have happened you probably have a hard time sleeping also because of all the thoughts in your head its hard to get excited when you have all these negative feelings i dont think your depressed but you could become depressed if it continues if your like me you probably have a hard time relaxing and talking to other people probably makes you nervous also i pace around my house all day looking for small things to do but can never sit down and relax i dont think the touchings really have anything to do with it but im not a dr i guess if you think about that a lot its possible please e-mail if you would like to talk more im 27 years old so i think we can relate my doc put me on meds and they seem to work what they do is work on your central nervous system causing a calming effect i dont know if your ok with that but it works for me i no longer dwell on things its like a negative repromand goes in one ear and out the other and i dont feel all dopey being on them

Answer 9

practice letting it go and dont dwell on the things that make you depressed. its really not being so hard on yourself you are your worst critic. if your sister molesting you is affecting your adult life, then confront her whether she admits it or not, give it back to her and let her deal with it. you do not have to keep that .it is garbage in your life and we throw garbage out and we dont go and ruffle back though it. pretty soon the garbage man takes it away for good.