My bf wants me to loan him 10 thousand s it good to give a guy money if you are a gal,
and how will i know he is going to pay me back? en how will i give the money to him without showing him am desperate for him......he is not working how wil he pay me back
2007-01-28 17:03:01 · 13 answers · asked by cnzuu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WoW... My gut on this one is screaming NO . I think all your questions are legitimate and so are your concerns... 10 thousand dollars and NO job... need i say more really.. OK how is he going to pay you back he isn't working? . Even if the roles were reversed ...I'd say NO . once money is exchanged unless married there is a different dynamic that happens in the relationship a different power structure and you'll loose trust and your comfort level will change around him,,, when he goes out with his Friends for a beer you'll be like shouldn't that money that you are spending be given to me to pay me back....Unless it is for heart surgery it's a no go. You have to tell him I'm sorry but "no" this relationship is to important to me that I don't want to loose it over a money issue that you know in yourself you'd loose self respect and or respect for him.
GL
If you think I'm off base watch judge judy there are lots of women on that show who end up with losers and the woman ends up losing money..No scrubs
2007-01-28 17:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by UmaCat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That alarm going off in your head is sounding for a reason.
IT WILL PUT MORE STRESS ON THE RELATIONSHIP IF YOU GIVE HIM THE MONEY MORE THEN IF YOU DON'T and even then he will probably whine like a little kid.
It is a major no.. no .. to do that in a relationship. Stand your ground, say NO.... make him go and work for it if he feels so strongly he needs the money.
There is no way to force him to repay you if he doesn't pay, even a contract of this nature can be breeched. If he needs the money that badly, send him to the bank and if he can't qualify their, there is a good reason he didn't and so why should you pick up the loan if a proven institution who is in the business to loan money feels he is no good...
he is asking you to cross a line that shouldn't be crossed..... and if you decide to marry him... get a Pre-nuputal agreement.
2007-01-28 17:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What in the world does he need ten thousand dollars for? Do you even have ten thousand dollars that you can just give him? I would definitely not loan him the money if you don't know how he's going to pay it back, especially since he doesn't have a job. If he tries to pull the "If you love me, you would do this for me" card, tell him you do love him, but you can't afford to give him that much money. And if he keeps bugging you about it, I would begin to question why he's really in this relationship with you- is it for you or the money? Hopefully though, he'll understand that you just can't hand out that kind of money, even if he promises to pay it back.
2007-01-28 17:08:29 · answer #3 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been with him a long time (over 2 years) and he has a reliable job and he needs the money because his mom is going to lose her house or something awful like that and you can spare it, then write up a legal document with the terms of the loan.
Since he does not have a job and no way to pay you back, tell him that a loan like that could ruin your relationship. If he does not respect your decision, then he is not worth keeping.
2007-01-28 17:12:10 · answer #4 · answered by reacting 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont want to loan your bf 10 grand then you can lend it to me!!
Seriously though, I wouldnt lend ANYONE that much money unless it was family... Believe me, it takes a long time to pay for someone else's debt. My pyschopathic ex-girlfriend left me with $21,000 worth of debt just before we broke up (maxed out credit cards, wrote off two cars etc) Believe me you dont want to spend the next few years doing nothing but paying back a debt like that...
If you really do want to lend the money, I'd definately recommend seeing a lawyer first. Then you can make up a contract for paying it back...and if he skips out you can then take him to court with your contract and force him to pay it back.
2007-01-28 17:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just asking for trouble if you loan him that much! You might as well just give it to him as a gift then you won't be let down and upset if he doesn't pay it back. If you love him that much and the money isn't that important to you then just give it as a gift.
2007-01-28 17:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by saturn man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the bank won't give him money, why would you. The courts are full of women trying to get back money from guys like this. But if you make a mistake and lend it, make sure you have it in writing and give amounts and dates that he must pay you back.
But: DON'T DO IT!!!!!!
2007-01-28 17:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are asking here is because you are not sure.. don't do it...
I am not saying he will pay u back or not, this is not a matter of him but yours!!!!
If you do not doubted then you would have gave him the money already no matter if you didn't see it back ever... that's what love is about... giving without expecting to receive back.. in this case.. hum not sure of the relationship? then do what you would do with anyone else....
2007-01-28 17:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by Luis L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has no job, then he will not be able to pay you back. and that
the real problem here, if you got it like that then think about what
this will do to the realtionship if he does not pay the money back
and that a real possible. loan money to a love can get real
ugly real fast.
2007-01-28 17:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no no no no! he is a boyfriend who isn't working! how the hell is he going to pay you back? what does he need $10,000 for?
get out of the relationship, and don't loan him any money. tell him to go to a bank.
2007-01-28 17:07:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋