i think my sister is a sweet girl, but im tired of giving in to her! she always refuses to do things and leaves them for me, when i talk to her about it she shrugs me off, if i dont do the things that need to be done, they wont get done! my father is bedridden, and it seems as if im the only one carring for him! i love him, but i need help!
2007-01-28 16:44:55 · 10 answers · asked by synphani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
always remember that nothing can be better than what is actually happening in ur life, God has chosen the best gift for u, and u have to willingly and happily accept it as a surprise gift.
then may b u wont have any hardcore feelings for ure sis or happenings at home, n then washing dishes too will seem fun
2007-01-28 16:51:26 · answer #1 · answered by sujata a 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
washing and cleaning and care taking with an open heart and a conscious mind is very healing. Thinking of all the blessings you have a tools to use raises your happiness level and makes you aware of how abundant you are. If clean happily and ignore your sister you will be rewarded with peace of mind and your sister will probable regret later that she didn't do more to help.
Some people run from stress and problems and some people deal head on. Congratulations on being one who deals. You'll save years of therapy by being present now. I thank you and appreciate the value of what you offer and I hope others will,too.
2007-01-28 16:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by blessmeamma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how that feels... you just want someone to help you when you need help the most, right? :) i suggest you talk with your sister and let her know what life is, the responsibilites of life, and then ask her whether she could at least lift a hand and help out... if she doesn't help out, you gotta do what you must--wash, clean and clear only yours and your father's stuff... but i do hope she will be understanding and compromise something since you say she's a sweet girl :D i started washing dishes when i was 5 yrs old, so unless she's that young, i don't see why she shouldn't help out... gd luck :)
2007-01-28 18:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by wat_more_can_i_say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey she's ur kid sister, n u cant make her feel responsible, it shud come from her. The only thing u can do is explain her that she has to take part i the house work...
Else divide work amongst both of u.
The best thing i can suggest is ask her to atleast take care of her things (keep her stuff in place, clean her own dishes)This to a certain extent will reduce ur load... All the best n god bless
2007-01-28 16:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lucky Khan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her eat off paper plates with plastic cuttlery until she gets her act together and realises she needs to help. I did this with my flat mate and when he used the proper plates I put the dirty ones in his bed until he got the hint, (now he does the dishes all the time!!!)
2007-01-28 21:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by skye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doing just fine, think of it this way..your doing the dishes for your Dad not your sister..I can see you love your dad.
2007-01-28 17:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by Gina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I'm so sorry. That is hard for you and unfair. Your sis then should not get any of your services. Like say you do the laundry, do yours and your dear father's but don't do hers. If she has a special cup or dish or whatever and you are washing the dishes, set those dirty ones she likes to the side and do not wash them. Keep things going as best as you can, caring for a bedridden parent is hard as heck. It's hard on you physically and mentally. You might have to let some of the lesser important things go while you take excellent care of your father (bless your heart.) Make the things you leave for a while the things that will inconvenience her the most. Of course keep things clean enough as not to cause extra illness for your dad.
If there are any of these things you can leave undone and it get to her enough to say something to you, tell her this: You have not been helping dad or me and I can only do so much. In order for our father to have good care, some things have to be let go for the time being. Proceed to tell her: Our father worked many years of his life to provide for me and YOU, I am trying to give back to him what he did for me and I'll be glad to show you how you can help me to take care of him You can learn with me and together, we can show our dad how much we appreciate him. I figure with us working together, it will make dad more comfortable too,seeing that we can take care of things while he does what he needs to do.
The part where you say you need help--you have stepped up to an authority position while your father has been forced to step off his some. Show your authority with her by making it known what is going on and what you need and expect from her. This will not last forever and God is watching as you care for him. Pray to Him and ask for His guidance and strength to get you through. If God sees fit to send you help, then you will have it. If the help doesn't show up, it means that God knows He made you strong enough for this and you will be able to handle it. God never gives us more than we can handle. If help does show up, by all means take it and use it to get a little time to yourself now and then. Pat yourself on the back for the selfless job you are doing for your dad. If it is your sis that helps you, maybe you can do shifts or something like rotate chores with direct care off and on between the two of you. Also if it is your sis, the two of you together could make your dad proud of the two great kids he raised.
I don't know where you live, but where I live there is a program called DORS, it stands for the department of rehabilitative services. It is state-funded I think and it pays a homemaker or personal assistant to come and give care to people that are in need of assistance and meet eligibility. It would be worth checking out.
Give your dad a kiss on the cheek for me and tell him I am thinking of him. Keep up your strength as best as you can, try to eat well and may God bless you for what you are doing. Be firm with your sis. If it goes to cause a big blowup between the two of you, back off and continue to care for your dad. He doesn't need to think he is the cause of you two bickering. He already feels bad enough as it is. If she isn't going to budge, then you know what to do, prioritize what you do take care of. Don't make her comfortable, make your dad comfortable.
Best wishes to you and your family and remember, God can listen 24/7 and He will! You are going to get through.
2007-01-28 17:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by wow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey well i had two sons that did that. you have to be acertive and get her to help. force her. yes, you are more responsibel and will be one person helping your dad forever maybe that is best. i can't say they all turn out good (kids) so you are the one try and keep up the good work.
2007-02-01 16:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you hate washing dishes. why not change places with your father and see what is better.
2007-01-28 18:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to smack her until she takes her *** to the kitchen.
2007-01-28 21:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by jennypenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋