I need desperate advice?My bf now ex used to tell me he wanted to commit suicie. I helped him as best I could?

Question

Then he told me how much I helped him, only to leave me to be with the person that caused him so much pain, a onenight stand who had his child.I helped him so much.He told me never to call him again.Now evrything has come rushing back to me,all the suicid threat made.He told me he bought cianide over the internet.He used to tell me he would do it when school was out over the summer because he was a teacher.He would tell me he couldnt live.Icant cope now:((All I do is cry &I have alot of anger inside for him messing with my head.Apparently, he got over it enough to treat melike crap.I dont know what todo anymore.Its been 6months and I am in therapy now!How ironic!All because I cared, he got me2care by telling me all that.Now look. How do I cope?Please someone tell me.I know now Ishouldnt have taken on that burden,but I felt he cared for me also.I was so angry Icalled him several times to yell,talk,confront him.Then he told me he was going to report me for harrassment!Who does this???:(

Answer 1

he sounds like a person with some serius issues ,, and he projected those issues off to you.. and unfortunatly you bought into the whole thing.. you must have low self esteem.. and you need to work on that.. however.. you can only be responsibe for you and only you.. if he deicides to do what ever with his life its because of his own thoughts and sickness not you.. and its not yourfault.. people like that are good on putting blame on the people in the lives who care and actulally dont deserve that burden but theydo it because its jsut a cowardly thing to do
much easier to deal with than having to add it to everything going on allready in his own head , his own little world..
the fact that you cared says alot.. was it tha tyou cared about him or did you care about a person and their life.. either way it sounds like your heart was in the right place and peopple who are hurting pray on that sort of thing. they need it to survive a little a time. sad but true.. you caring probly keep him going and now that the situation has changed hes probly in a bad place again and needs that care that you once gave him that keep him going but your now working on life wiht out him which is what you should do.. he needs help and not someone to be his cruch.. and youu dont need to be responsible for any one but yuorself and certainly not an adult whos cronically suicidaly.. perhaps hes angry now because your working on yourself and hes needing the old you .. so fall back on .. stay strong and remember nothing he does will ever be your fault or yours to blame.. and remember.. sometimes its better to care about someone from a distant especcially when they are realy sick!!

Answer 2

I hate to say it because you will not agree with me right now, but you are better off without him..Those suicid threats were a way to manipulate you. There is a good chance that he has abandonment and control issues. The pain that you are feeling now is difficult. Nothing anyone says or does will make everything all better. I think that it is good that you realized how much this breakup was affecting you and sought help. It is alright to cry and feel upset or angry.

It may help you to write a letter to your ex, but do not give it to him. In the letter put eveything that you are feeling about how he has treated you and about the breakup. Another idea is too get involved in a hobby that will help to occupy your mind and free time. I like painting, working out, reading or Sudoku. If all else fails pamper yourself with a hot shower, a good movie or a night out with friends. Anything that makes you feel better.

Answer 3

The answer: a psycho who just wanted a rebound to boost his confidence before he went back to his one night slut.

I had an ex who used to threaten to kill himself if I broke up with him. It took me a good three months after we broke up to finally get him to leave me alone and convince him not to kill himself. The one thing I learned was that 99% of suicide threats are just pleas for attention and nothing else.

All you can do is try to move on. He messed with you, he broke your heart, he used you, but we have all been there at least once with some jerk or another.

I suggest writing him a long letter. A really, really, really long letter and then taking it outside and burning it in a massive fire pit and set yourself free!

He was never worth your time!

Also check out these books: "The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" It is funny and teaches helps you move on! They also write "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" which is about how to move on from a bad breakup.

Answer 4

Well i would keep seeing the therapist and working on getting over him, cause it sounds like you have not yet hit that point. I would also get an restraining order to keep him from calling you, or coming by your place or trying to get intouch with you in any way, cause every time he does he just hurts you, then says he is going to get you for harrassment. Well you have the therapist that you have been going to , to stand behind your story, so you can get that restraining order put on him. So lets see how he gets out of talking himself out of this one when they give it to him at school. You know he used you, so now you have to stop letting him use you again, and he will if he can. So please get that restraining order, on him, and keep seeing your therapist, you will get feeling better when this has all been steadled.

Answer 5

Honestly I think that you just need to try and relax. Just try and not think about the as$hole, try and meditate or something try and keep yourself occupied. Go out with your girlfriends and have some fun you might meet someone way better and then you might be really glad that the as$hole broke up with you because he pretty much mad room for a much better guy to come into your life. Good luck. He's not worth it.

Answer 6

awww, first of all i'm very sorry this happened to you. but you need to cut off all ties with him, don't call him, don't IM him, don't email him, nothing. guys can be total a--holes and that is not your fault! but sadly it affects you. remember it is not your responsibility to be a therapist for your bf, it's good that you care about him but if someone says something like that the best thing is to tell a parent or teacher or someone who can get him/her into therapy. you can't solve their problems. it's good that you're in therapy, he used you and totally messed up your emotions, just stick with the therapy, do what the therapist says and you will get better. it's going to take a long time, so don't get discouraged! and remember not to get into any relationships until your therapist says its ok.

Answer 7

The next time he threatens to kill himself, call the police and report him. They will send someone to his house to watch him and possibly take him to the hospital. Other than that, there is nothing that you can do except cut ties with him. Good for you that you are in therapy, but you can't keep trying to take care of his problems. Take care of yourself and don't let yourself be manipulated by someone like that again.

Answer 8

He had you hooked into his games. I know it may be so hard to hear right now, but one day you will see he did you a huge favor by leaving. Chances are very slim that he will get better.

The best revenge they say is to make something good of yourself. Focus now on the things you can control. On the hopes and dreams of your own that you neglected due to focusing on him. Start day by day doing what you can to work toward those goals. Before you know it, you will be doing awesome.