ok this is really weird and ironic but my boyfriend comes from a religious family but I guess having sex is the one thing he strays with. anyways, he always says when we are away (long distance relationship) that he wants to try this or that or cant wait to do this or that but then when we see each other it's like he gets all shy. why would he even say this? also, I love the whole handcuffs idea and he says thats the one thing he wouldnt do because he likes to have control and wouldn't like being restrained. I told him that was the whole point of it and it really sounds like he doesn't trust me with his body but he says it just sounds stupid..I dunno I'm just confused
2007-01-28 16:10:08 · 11 answers · asked by Sarah 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its a control thing. Most guys don't want the girl to be in charge, it is in opposition to how they're wired for sex. He might not ever be cool with it and even if he does it for you, may not enjoy it.
That said, the best way to lure someone into bondage is go lightly and leave them obvious ways to escape to the extent that they're not rly bound. Ropes or scarves with slip knots are good. Making of a game of having them stay completely still in the position you demand to continue to receive oral is another.
2007-01-28 16:53:57 · answer #1 · answered by Nonny D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's brave enough to throw out suggestions as to what he may want to try when you're away because that's 'safe'. He might turn shy when it comes down to it and may be waiting for you to take the initiative. If he feels like he wants to be in control, then he needs to restrain you. (Just make sure you can really trust him!) Some men don't like playing the submissive role, but rather love to dominate.
2007-01-29 00:18:08 · answer #2 · answered by bfwh218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calling something stupid is a mans way of getting out of uncomfortable situations. Call his actions to his attention, point out the he himself said he wanted to try new things. If that doesn't work the next time you're with him initiate the act that way he doesn't have to feel akward trying to figure out how to get the ball rolling.... so to speak. There is a possibility that he has much more intense ideas in mind and he's not sure how you'll react if he actually tries them.
2007-01-29 00:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by I Shouldn't Have 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend has yet to realize that sex can be recreational and fun as well as procreational. LDR's are tough, that's for sure and fantasies fly high when you are apart. You are very in touch with your sexuality and you probably know that. He hasn't gotten to the point of him (as you say) trusting his body to you. Pardon the expression, but he has to come to grips with it. I don't think you are as confused as you think you are. You want a larger dynamic in your sex life and are ready to go to that level. He is not there yet.
P.S. Any guy who hooks up with you is really lucky.
2007-01-29 00:25:57 · answer #4 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most prob ur b/f must be thinking that he is going to feel guilty by doing this.But u have to assure him that its not.Its human nature.Sex is all about trusting each other.Although i dun encourage pre-marital sex.But its sumthing to get your mind off certain things.Some ppl are afraid to try new things.Maybe they get their facts wrong.Handcuffs and stuff are quite norm.You have to tell him that he wont know what it is like until he tries.And make sure u both go slow on it.Talking things before doing things always helps.
2007-01-29 00:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww, i think maybe he's fantasized about doing some kinky things, but when he's with you in person he's afraid. if u REALLY want to do somthing kinky, suprise him. don't give him the chance to object. say "i have a suprise for you, close your eyes" and blind fold him. if you don't give him the time to get nervouse, he'll probably enjoy it.
2007-01-29 00:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it slow with any bondage games until he gets more comfortable with opening up to you with the experimentaion. get his trust & his interest up first with some less intimidating toys. he's obviously thinking about doing things, but having trouble following through in reality. go slow, work your way up to more daring things
2007-01-29 00:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Tim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jst stay close to ur boyfriend and probobally go to a date with him and by staying close u may know all his mentality and u then frequently call him jst hangover talking watever u like and able to satisfy him and then u may do watever u like
2007-01-29 00:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by pari 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it slow.. he might just be trying to impress you a lil.. allow him to do some things to you and then move on and try them on him
2007-01-29 00:15:08 · answer #9 · answered by Betsy B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what a control freak
2007-01-29 00:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋