How to get a baby to sleep on their own?

Question

Unfortunately due to medical reasons, our 14 month old son has gotten used to coming to our bed during the night (he has a sleep apnea and we had to constantly watch him to ensure that he was breathing). Now that we have received help for the apnea, we are ready to have him sleep in his own bed. The problem is...I hate to hear him cry. Any suggestions on a better way to encourage him to go to sleep on his own in his bed other than the cry it out method?

Answer 1

Oh, I feel your pain. My husband and I are going through this right now. We put our one year old son in bed to fall asleep on his own for the first time five nights ago. Until then, he was held or rocked until he fell asleep or he fell asleep in our bed with us. We would then move him to his bed and when he woke up, he'd be back in bed with us, usually for the rest of the night.

We do the same thing at the same time every night, trying to set a routine. We then put him in bed after hugs and kisses and sit next to the bed in the rocker to offer reassurance and loving pats as needed but we DO NOT pick him up, no matter what.

By sitting next to the bed, he isn't abandoned. The first night he cried 20 minutes (which seemed like an eternity) and at one point I was crying right along with him and he jumped around and shook the rails but eventually he laid down and fell asleep. He awoke crying three times the first night and we went in and gave hugs and kisses and more loving pats and sat in the rocker and spoke gently and lovingly but didn't pick him up. I don't lay him back down - eventually he lays down himself.

The second night he didn't cry once and fell asleep within five minutes and slept the whole night, no joke. The third night, daddy was flying solo (I work 3 nights a week as a nurse) and he tried to get Daddy to cave (which he didn't, yea Daddy). Night four was a breeze as he had a bath before bed (the same with night one) but I don't want to bathe him every night because I don't want to dry out his skin. Tonight he cried for a few minutes and jumped around for a few minutes more, but then he laid down and went to sleep all on his own. Every once in a while he'll pop his head up or stick his arm out to touch us, I think to make sure we are still there.

After a couple of weeks I'll try to walk out right after I lay him down but for now, I think it is reassuring for him to know someone is right by his crib. I mean, it is our fault he is used to being held to sleep so I figured it would be too cruel to just up and put him in is crib one night and leave him. This method is working well for us. It is not easy, but we now it is best for our son and our family. He sleeps longer and is much happier when he wakes up.

I wish you much luck and stamina! Everyone will have a different opinion - just do what works/feels best for your family. I think the most important thing is consistency.

Answer 2

Is it a toddler bed? If it's a twin, you could sleep with him for a night or two, and gradually decrease the time spent in his bed over the course of a week. Or sleep on his bedroom floor if it's a toddler bed or crib. Maybe take him to the store and let him pick out a stuffed animal to be his sleep buddy. Also, when he falls asleep for a nap, put him in his bed and be nearby when he wakes up so he doesn't freak out about you not being there, he'll learn that even if he sleeps in his room that mommy is nearby. Lol, try everything you can think of, only then you may have to let him cry, even though it sucks! Good luck!

Answer 3

I know how you feel about hating to hear him cry, I feel the same way with my daughter! He doesn't understand anything different than sleeping with mommy and daddy, and if you think about it, that is sad, having to leave the only thing you know. I hope you won't shock him and just throw him in the bedroom, shut the door and let him "cry it out". What kind of message would that send to a fourteen month old who depends on your love, warmth and ACCEPTANCE. Doing that would only communicate REJECTION! How sad.

I think a better idea would be doing it little by little, sortof working his way into it. Don't put a time limit on how long it will take... just keep progressing at his pace. Maybe start with naps and you staying in the bedroom with him till he falls asleep... than after that for a little while, than leave just as he is drifting to sleep...do that for a little while and continue on until he is comfortable and understands that this is not rejection, but just the way things are.

Remember there is a difference between crying out of fear, rejection, and confusion than crying because they don't want to go to sleep. I think it's ok to let babies cry when they understand what's going on and are just protesting...BUT... if it's out of confusion and so forth I don't think we should let our babies feel like that!

So the point is do what you have to until he understands what's happening and knows you still love and accept him!

Answer 4

You son has gotten used to sleeping with you so it'll take him a while to adjust to the new sleeping method. Put a bed or mattress in your room for him and encourage him to sleep on it. Once he's used to it without climbing onto your bed, you can get him to sleep in his own room (if he has one). This will take a longer time and do not turn him away when he comes to you as he's still learning but do not make it a habit either. You can leave a night lamp on for a while until he falls asleep and gradually he'll learn to be on his own. Do praise him when he's able to sleep a whole night without you beside him.

Answer 5

You need to change the way that you view crying. Crying isn't necessarily a bad thing, it means you have healthy strong baby. My best advise is to begin a very strict bedtime routine. For instance:
Bath, bottle, brush teeth, read, say prayers, "I love you, goodnight".
Always try to put him to bed at the same time every night and make sure that the routine is also always followed. This will help him to know what to expect and that bed time is when we cuddle and read, have some milk and then go to sleep - bedtime should equal a good time. He may cry for the first few nights, but I guarantee that if you adhere to a strict bedtime routine, eventually the crying time will become less and less and eventually he won't cry at all!
Good Luck!

Answer 6

Try letting him fall asleep with you and then move him into his own bed. I have 4 boys and I have had to do this with 2 of them. You should move him into his bed after about 5 minutes. Also, you could try rocking him to sleep and then putting him in his bed. If all else fails and you don't mind him in your bed, leave him there. My 3 year old still sleeps with me. My 11 month old sleeps in his crib. All kids are different. I do not like the "let them cry" method. That is just mean if you ask me. He loves you and trusts you and feels safe with you. Just remember, he won't sleep with you forever!!
I hope this helps.

Answer 7

wow well the baby is still young but the best thing to do is put your son in his bed adn hes gonna cry and maybe evn get up but you have to keep on putting him back into his bed and if he gets out then put him back your gonna be going back and forth with him for a while and even when hes dont finanlly for the night he may get up in the middle of the night well you have to keep on doing it you may not get much sleep cause of the up's and down's but after a few days he'll be ok and you'll be able to sleep

Answer 8

Glow in the dark stars.
A colored bulb in a 'special' torch
A lava lamp (that he can't reach -HOT-)
Read to him until he's asleep, or talk to him, or even just lay down with him and he'll soon learn that his own bed is just as comforting, and you can slowly start getting him to go alone.
And to tell you the truth, if you don't let him cry sometimes, he will soon learn exactly how long and what kind of cry will 'make mama come!' (as long as he's fed, clean and not in pain, crying WILL NOT hurt him)

Answer 9

Hardest habit I had to break my daughter from sleeping with us. One day though I told her she was going to sleep in her own bed one night and I don't know if you have a dog or not but, I told my daughter who threw a fit about sleeping by herself scared to death to do it, I said to her "you hear how Meagan barks and growls when she hears something or sees something well, she will sleep with you and nothing will get you because she won't let it she will watch you and will get them before they got you". She went to bed that night and every night after that in her own room. I wish I would of thought of that sooner. Every night going to bed she would call for Maymay, to go with her. If you have a dog and it is an inside one try that........

Answer 10

DEAR NO SO SORRY THIS IS REALLY SERIOUS BECAUSE THEY DID A SLEEP STUDY THAT CAME BACK ABNORMAL BECAUSE I ONLY SLEEP 4 HOURS A NIGHT THAT IS IT THEY DO KNOW THAT I AM HAVING SILENT SEGRE'S INSTEAD OF GRAND MILD SEGRE'S YOU WILL JUST TO WATCH HIM OK I WOULD NOT PUT HIM IN HIS UNTIL HE IS OLDER AND NOT A BABY CRIB PUT UP A QUEEN BED FOR YOU TO SLEEP WITH AND BUY RAILS FOR SAFETY SO HE DOES NOT ROLL OUT ARE MAY BE A KING IF YOUR HUSBAND WANTS TO SLEEP WITH THE BOTH OF YOU IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THE BUY A KING BOX SPRINGS AND 2 TWIN MATTRESS FOR THE TOP AND PUT ON IT EGG CRATES ON IT AND MATTRESS PADS TO KEEP THE BED TO GATHER OK TAKE CARE