I have a big family lots of cousins, but on a tight budget. if i don't invite 3 of my cousins who are under 14 problems will arise, andwell i want these 3 there. but if i invite these 3 then i need to invite the others similar in age...which is a lot. i would like to keep it 18 and older, but it is hard when we are close with some of the younger cousins but not all, andi can't invite 2 kids from one family and not the 3rd. what do i do. on a budget...so we are trying to keep the quest list down. any suggestions. help!
2007-01-28 15:01:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
the kids that i want to invite are 8,9,13....there is no room for them in the wedding party and the problem is so many other kids are close in the age ( in the fmaily) i just don't know what to do. i could care less if the other 20 cousins a re there but these 3 are important. but we have a big family and the rule is kind of all or nothing. but i can' do nothing with these 3. HELP!
2007-01-28 15:21:35 · update #1
i can't invite aunts and uncles without kids bc my mom has 15 sibilings and they all have kids and i'm close with all those aunts and uncles. i want a sit down meal, open bar, and still wont know what to do about the kids. bc if there is 3 there and none of the others ....it wil lcause big problems. i would like to have the cousins there i just don't know how to keep that within the budget.
2007-01-28 15:37:00 · update #2
Why don't you invite everyone 18 and over and tell the parents that because of the small budget and the big family, you can't include their kids. Their children are welcome to come if they would like to pay for their meals. Include the price of the kids meals so that everyone knows how much they have to allow . I'm sure the people who want their kids to come will understand. You could then maybe organize a kids menu at a reduced price. So then the decision is up to the individual parents and the pressure is off you.
2007-01-28 16:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could try shifting the blame. What you do is get the number of guest you can have. Divide that number by four. Some for you and your wife to be some for her parents and some for your parents. You invite the people you want and leave the rest to them. Or you could have the three 14 year olds in your wedding as maids or hostess. This will put them on a different list from the regular guests. This way you can keep your wedding 18 and over without an issue.You could also try to change a few things around in your plan to give more to the budget. There are many ways to bring down the cost of your wedding. I feel for you I had a similar problem. Try taking another look at your budget. See if you have any ways to make room for a few more guests. There may be a few changes you can make without losing your dream wedding. Good luck. I hope it all works out for the best.
2007-01-28 23:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by quel772o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about a rule that no one under 18 is invited unless they're family? Hopefully that will include those 3 cousins and exclude everyone else under 18. Most people should or would understand that family isn't subject to the same rules that everyone else is subject to.
An alternative would be to talk to your caterer about whether there's a less expensive (and simpler) meal option for children. Usually you can get chicken nuggets or something, so you don't have to serve lobster to a kid that probably won't like it anyway. This might allow you to include children without increasing your costs too much.
2007-01-28 23:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by Pookie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to think about how many people you want to invite and than gather those people that most important people to you. The wedding is a very special celebaration you really want to share with everyone adn you probably can't invite everyone you want to come to the Wedding. You should limit to people that you love and want to share this day with as well as will inderstand the importance of the day!! Most times children can not concive the importance of this day to much later in life. If you can add them to the wedding party or you may want to invite them to some pre-wedding activites or be creative and host a pre- wedding party for them(it can be as small or as large as your budget can allow). Or you can find an activity that they can help you with(like finishing up party favors, fold programs etc..) You have to make a decision that will make you and your fiance happy.,and not strained your budget!
2007-01-28 23:40:15 · answer #4 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put those three cousins in the wedding party and make the wedding 18 and over unless in the Wedding party. That still may ruffle some feathers though. You kind have to either hurt feelings or invite everyone. That's one of the things that sucks about planning a wedding.
2007-01-28 23:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your budget. You need to keep it to imitated family only, that means don't even invite the aunts with the kids. Yes some people will get mad, but remember this is your wedding. Or invite adults only and set invite two per invitation. No children Some people won't go because there kids aren't invited and that OK. I didn't go to a wedding because my kids weren't invited but I didn't get mad. You can't please everyone
2007-01-28 23:32:42 · answer #6 · answered by honeybunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you incorporate those 3 into the wedding somehow that way it doesnt seem weird to other family members with under 18 children that they are there and their children weren't invited? Like having them be junior bridesmaids/groomsmen or young ushers or flower girls/ring bearers??? It is hard to tell you how to incorporate them without knowing their age. Also, I dont know if your wedding party has room for additions but it is an idea!
2007-01-28 23:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by shamilton04260 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is very little flexibility here, you don't want to offend anyone. perhaps your parents could explain the situation to them on your behalf, but there is no room to make any changes, as you have said over and over again, you can't invite some and not others, or not invite any kids at all, so the only option left to you is to save up more money!!
2007-01-29 04:39:36 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am only inviting immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings) and a few close friends in order to keep my wedding budget down. Otherwise it would be around 200 people.
2007-01-28 23:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the 8 and 9 year olds resposible for the guest book. You might not want a guest book, but this will give you an excuse to have them there. I did this with my cousin who was 9 at the time, I wanted him there, it was important to me. You could have the 13 year old help with decorations. Make them apart of your special day so noone will think anything of it to see them there. If others have a problem, tough. It's your day, not theirs.
2007-01-28 23:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋