Would someone explain how a father can let a woman come between him & his daughter?

Question

My father and I had a disagreement a long time ago and didn't speak for 8 years, though I've made attempts. In 2004, we started talking again. We worked everything out. He remarried during the time we weren't speaking and I never met his wife. He was fooling around with her before he & my mother divorced. Someone took ill in the family and I called him to let him know the details. He later called me and told me not to call him at home because his wife wouldn't like it. He also told me she doesn't like me (though we never met). When he calls me, it's on his cell phone when she's not around -- like he's sneaking.

What I don't understand is how any parent could let a spouse or significant other put them in a position where they have to sneak to call the child. He wont even come to my home because his wife will get mad. Ok, I know he's spineless in this matter, but how could a parent permit such a thing from a signifcant other?

Answer 1

It's called choice.

Answer 2

If the fathers daughter is younger than 18 I can't see it. Under that age the parent is still the caregiver and should think of the feelings of his offspring. no matter how hard or lonely it gets, He should think family first..
my own daughter,has been restrictive.She said I should find someone but she says she has the last word of who I chose..Well I don't go out. I don't date. Why have more problems with a teenage girl,.I could easily fall in love.This is my last year at it,.At age 18 she can chose whom ever she wants, then why not me.
It's like this: a man needs support and a shoulder to cry on .It's bad being alone. a man needs a women. to complete himself. some are stronger or weaker than others.. it is there choice of when.

Answer 3

Impossible.
The daughter can reject the woman, try being stubborn, unaccepting and manipulative with her father and then pout and say she is losing the father to a woman, if she is an immature adult.
The mother can do the same and try using the child as a pawn, if she is the ex; possibly doing the child more damage herself than the father is doing.
The father can choose to neglect the daughter financially and emotionally if he is insensitive and irresponsible.
The woman doesn't have a responsibility to the child if there is no legal connection through marriage, so it is not her problem. It would be generous of her to acknowledge the child and be friendly, otherwise.

Answer 4

there is no explanation for it, but it happens. sometimes peolpe can get caught up in relationships not realizing they are abandoning something else just as important. if you have a close enough relationship with your Dad then talk to him. he may think your over reaction and that your jealous(and it could possibly be the case) but let him know that your feeling neglected since his new relationship. your not asking him to get rid of his girlfriend but that you want him to continue what you had. he should know you come before any woman but at the same time you must give Dad his space cause if he's not happy then he cant make you happy.

Answer 5

They do it all the time. Mothers also let a man come between them and their children. Who loses? Everyone. You will always be his daughter though. She may not always be his woman. Hang in there. He may need you some day in the future, and it just might be too late for him eh? Keep yourself busy with your stuff and don't let it get to you too much. Time has a way of paying people back for the wrong they do to others.

Answer 6

No, I can't explain. Your father needs a woman unless he's 80 and over. That doesn't mean she has come between you.
A man cannot just live with a child. However as I don't know your circumstances there's not much more I can say.

Answer 7

The errs of being human.

We are, at best and at worst, human. And everyone makes stupid mistakes. Both my father and my brother-in-law have let another woman come between them and their wives and kids. But in the end, they realized the errors of their ways, their wives forgave them, and all is well.

No one is perfect, and forgiveness is really the answer, especially in marriage when we live in a divorce happy society.

Answer 8

How can a daughter allow herself to come between her father and a woman?

Additional: A relationship is about two people and sometimes involves compromise. The fact that he still talks to you at all despite the way his current wife feels shows that he is making some effort on your part, so rethink your "spineless" comment. He isn't letting her come between you and him, otherwise you wouldn't be speaking to your father at all. He is trying to comprise and I would suspect that he feels and hopes that you are the more understanding and reasonable of the two females.

You know, I have found that most times in relationships that the female tends to feel that it is more about her than about the two of them, and you do nothing to dispel my notion of this. In the relationship between your father and his new wife, it's about what she wants. In the relationship between your father and you, it's about what you want. Neither of you seems to consider what he wants or the fine line he has to walk to try to please both of you.

Answer 9

I don't really know your situation, but I do know that children do have a very hard time accepting other women (other than their mother or themselves) into their father's life. She might very well be a very nice person--be kind.

Answer 10

He allows his wife to have complete control over him. The reason why is something only he knows. You can learn something from him...don't ever be like him.