How do you get ready for a parents death?

Question

I am an only child. They have burial plans but I don't think I can go to the ceremonies.

Answer 1

I know what you mean, when the time comes, you will find the strength in you. trust me...

Answer 2

It sounds like your parents are trying to be very considerate by arranging their burial plans ahead of time, knowing that since you are an only child all the responsibility would fall on you, and how difficult that would be.

There really isn't a way to prepare for a parent's death. My mother was ill for 3-1/2 years before she died so her death was certainly not unexpected, but it still hit me very, very hard.

It helped me that I had been very involved in her care. Two days before she died I washed her hair so she could arrive in heaven looking like her elegant self. I tried to make sure she was always comfortable and had everything she needed. I told her how much I loved her and that life would not be the same without her. When she did die, although I still miss her terribly, I did not have the anguish of feeling that anything was unresolved between us.

Be sure to tell your parents how much you love them and how much you appreciate all they've done for you.

God bless.

Answer 3

You never get ready for the death of a parent!
All you can do is prepare yourself for the
inevitible 'shock' when it does happen.
The tears will still fall and you'll still have that
lost and empty feeling for a while after.
My suggestion to you is, try to plan (in your mind) things that you enjoy doing, and after
they are gone DO THEM.
Keep yourself occupied as much as possible,
and spend time with people you love.
I was a child when my dad died but I didn't want to go to the burial, I wanted to remember him the way he was, and not standing around
the grave watching everyone crying, especially
my mom. I've always hated to see my mom cry! It would upset me too.

Answer 4

first, i want to send my thoughts and wishes your way. I lost my Dad in 96 due to cancer and I was 14 years old.

How I prepared was I made sure he knew how I felt. I read him my diary entries that had the great memories and said how much I loved him. I also told him of the things I've done that he never knew, like watched TV when I was grounded, and talked on the phone past my bedtime. We also all had a video camera and we sat around him and he told us how much he loved us. To this day, I haven't watched it but knowing that it's there helps.

This is a hard time, but as time passes I promise you it will get better. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I don't regret my father passing away, but my Mom and I wouldn't be close like we are now. I lost my dad, but gained a life long relationship with my mother.

Stay strong, and don't hide your feelings. make sure you have a family member or friend to talk to and cry to. if you hide your emotions, one day you will burst.

God Bless...

Answer 5

I'm an only child too... My father died three years ago after a long battle with cancer, so I did have time to prepare. Here are some of the things I did that helped me.

When Dad was in the last few months of his life, my stepmom involved me in every aspect of his care, from feeding him and helping him dress to arranging for hospice care. I was there for him in the last eighteen hours of his life--I even shaved him and rubbed lotion on him. Somehow, that helped me. I knew that I'd done everything I could for my father while he was still alive.

The best preparation, I think, began a lot earlier than that.

Dad and I were always close, as fathers and daughters who closely resemble each other often are. We often said "I love you," and whatever misunderstandings we did have, were cleared up, with much love and forgiveness, long before Dad died. I know I'm lucky to have had no unfinished business with him at the time of his death.

Answer 6

Tell them the things that you NEED to.
* I love You (as many times as you can)
** I'm sorry if I ever hurt you
*** I forgive You for...
**** I remember the times we used to ...
***** Will you come back and see me if it's possible? (I did ask this!)
****** Can I do any thing for you to make it easier?

When my mother passed, I didn't go and see her laying in an open coffin because I didn't want to 'remember' her being dead.
She's never been dead to me. I know she is physically but she's not in spirit. You know what I mean?
My sisters took care of her while she was passing and they bathed her after wards. My eldest said it was weird because you could tell it was just a 'vessel' and no longer mom. To her our mother is dead, because she sees her that way. I'm more fortunate because i don't. Both of my sisters are RN's so they were more able to care for her.
I would recommend however that you find closure some how...
if you don't go to the ceremonies then get closure some how. Either now while they are alive or go to the funeral.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

There is no way to get ready for your parents death. But once it comes, time is the only medicine for your pain. I think your parent would really appreciate it if you went to the ceremonies. And if you cry, don't worry about it at all, it's natural, and it shows the love that you have for your parent. Sorry about your loss.

Answer 8

I don't think there's any way you can prepare for it. I lost my mom in 1997, and I was the only child out of her 4 kids that went up to her coffin at the funeral home and touched her and talked to her. I would NOT recommend doing that. For the longest time, that was the only picture I had of my mom. Personally, I decided I will never go to another funeral. If you can't go to the funeral or service, don't feel obligated. Most people will understand, and those who don't, well, that's their problem. You have to take care of yourself, and you're the only one who knows what is best for you.

Answer 9

I don't think there is any way to prepare, other than to make sure that you talk with them as much as you can. As for funerals, I do feel that it is important to be there...as a sign of respect and the love that you share with them.

I have attended all funerals and have only NOT gone up to the casket once (which I regret to this day). Not a single one of those visits put a picture in my mnind...only the times we shared during their lives.

The Warlock

Answer 10

I think it's really important to have all of your "issues" resolved. My father died a couple of years ago and I was the only calm one there. My brothers and mother were practically hysterical. They all had unresolved anger and hurts involving him that they never let him apologize for. He would of if they had just told him of their pain. It's really sad. I was so close to him all my life and he was the only family member I really could count on for unconditional love and his passing was very peaceful for me.