Engagement?

Question

We have been going out for just about 2 years now.. she lives with me on the weekends when I'm off work. I'm 21 and a police officer so I have the whole career thing going for me already and we have been talking about moving out with eachother soon after I Graduate the police academy and get some money in the bank. Just wondering when the right time to get engaged would be? I know this is the girl I want to be with, we get along great and share so many of the same characteristics and views.

We are not really planning on getting married for about 2 years or so, that way she can graduate from college and my salary wont affect her scholarship grant. But wanted to get engaged with her just to show her that she is that special something in my life and I want to share all my future experiences with her.

Answer 1

My BF and I are in this position. We've been together for nearly 2 years. I am however 17 and he is 19, so we're putting it off for a little while. It's a long distance relationship, which makes it that much more difficult, as I only see him 2 times a year or so. When I put myself in your position given your job stability and your age, I would feel to do it when the time feels right. My BF and I both want to marry each other. I would say go for it and follow your heart. There's nothing wrong with a long engagement, it just shows extra committment, there's nothing wrong with that. You rarely get the oppurtunity to be engaged, so make it romantic and unexpected. I'm a girl, and I would love for it to be romantic and special, a day that I would never forget. For a guy to plan that special day of getting engaged, means a whole lot for a girl. Good Luck :)

Answer 2

My advice would be to not move in with each other or get engaged until you are both out of school and working in your careers. That means you are working as a police officer (which you aren't now, since you're still in the academy), and she is working as whatever she plans to be.

Then, I would recommend living with her for no less than 1 year (the more the better) before getting married. The reason for this is simple. You have been dating her for 2 years, but you haven't lived with her full time (weekends don't count). You need to know that you can stand having her around 24 hours a day every day. You also need to find out how both of your careers are going to effect your relationship. I know that cops can work lousy hours and are exposed to danger, and I don't know what she'll be doing, but most careers take a lot of work to start out in. You could find that six months in, she'll like the idea of you dodging bullets less and less, and start trying to got you to give up your dream. It happens all the time. It takes a certain type of woman to handle being married to a cop, and you don't know if she is that type, since you're not a cop yet. Some women change in various other ways when you live with them, and you need to know that before you get married.

Before you get married, you also have to sit down and discuss at length all of the things that people don't think to talk about before they get married. Do you want kids? Does she want kids? When? How many? How close together? Will she work, or stay home with them? Are you both the same religion? If not, what religion will the children be raised? What holidays will be celebrated?

Waiting at least 5 years after getting married before having a kid is a good idea. After 5 years, you have a really good idea whether the marriage is strong and will last and is stable enough to raise a child in.

You should think about getting a pre-nup agreement, to protect the both of you in case things don't work out. You don't know how successful either of you will be in the future, or what could happen.

Just remember, there is no rush. My personal opinion is that the both of you are too young to even be in a serious relationship, let alone getting engaged, but you're going to do what you want, and it's not my place to tell you what to do anyway. You have plenty of time, and the more time you spend together before getting married, the more sure you will be that a marriage will last. I was with my wife 7 years before we got married, and we lived together for 5 of those years. I'm am glad I did that, because I went into marriage knowing absolutely everything about her, every quirk, every habit, every detail. That time gave me peace of mind.

Answer 3

Find out about what time of the year she would like to get married in and ask her 1 year and half before hand. It takes now days about a year to plan anyways. My Fiance and i have been engaged since last year and still not getting married until next march and i have found that there are alot of couples having long engagements.. So i would ask her when the time felt right.

Answer 4

My sister is actually in a similar situation, she has been with her boyfriend for over 5 years, and he is in graduate school right now. This is the thing, does your woman want a long engagment or short? you need to get some inside information.
Because sometimes when you give the ring, she automatically starts talking about the wedding. Other then that, follow you're heart, you will know what to do.

Answer 5

Wait until another 6 months or so. You can be engaged 18 months (it takes about a year to plan a nice wedding, making sure you have the money, no matter how small the wedding is). Take my advice, keep the wedding intimate, a nice reception, make sure you get a honeymoon. Resist the urge to spend lots on thewedding, you'll want it later for a house down payment. Good luck

Answer 6

If you're sure she's the one you shouldn't waste anytime especially if you're not going to get married for another two years. I think you should make it special and do it for Valentine's Day. In that time of living together you'll know 100% what you're getting into.

Answer 7

You could start out with a promise ring. Wait until you're living together to get engaged.

Answer 8

Aww...so sweet. As far as timing, I know it's a cliche but you've got to do it when it feels right. Sorry, there's just no mathematical formula for this, it's whenever you want it to be. Best wishes for a happy future together!

Answer 9

DO NOT DO IT. This reminds of a sermon I heard in church last week. Our pastor was talking about indulging in certain types of food and drink and how some can bring years of misery. He asked what the congregation thought was the one food that would bring misery for life. A 76 year old man in the front row raised his hand and simply said "Wedding Cake".

Answer 10

The time is right whenever you feel the time is right :) If you already know she is the one, ask her :)