Whenever I feel upset about something in my own life, or things aren't going well for me and things are going well for my friends - I don't feel happy for them one bit. I tend to resent them or hope that those good things never happened for them. For example, if my friend were ever talking about how great her boyfriend is and how much fun she had with him one day, and I had nothing new to report with my boyfriend, I'd get annoyed with her for even talking to me about it, and sometimes wish she'd never met her b/f.
It's not like I'm never happy for my friends, it's just that I'm not whenever things aren't going just as well for me at the moment. Is this just a jealousy thing or what? I really don't like this trait I have and I want to feel happy for my friends ALL THE TIME and always be supportive, without having to fake it.
Is there something wrong with me and how can I fix this?
2007-01-28 13:41:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being annoyed with your friends for talking about their best moments is one thing but hoping that they never had that special moment is another. I know that when I'm not having the greatest time of my life and someone is rubbing it on my face that they had a great time I would be just as annoyed or jealous. It's natural, many people would feel that way. However, if you don't want to hear it from that person you shouldn't keep it inside, if that's what your doing, instead you should collaborate with them about your feelings so they may sympathize with you, give you some advice, and not give you a hard time. Now, hoping the worst for your friends is something your going to have to fix on your own. All I can tell you is that your not really a friend if you wish the worst people, however, your really an enemy.
2007-01-28 14:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by MaoAce7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, that grree eyed monster: envy.
And, it sounds like you can't stand someone to have something that you don't have at the moment.
Just remember that you are not always frustrated or angry.
And, each friend has their bad times.
Don't compare your life with their, just focus on those things that are good in your life or that make you happy.
What makes a good person is not what we have, but how we react to what we have.
Find the joy in your own circumstances, then, you will not be so envious of others.
Now, you are in a habit.
You will have to get yourself out of feeling this way.
This is just a feeling. when you tell yourself that this feeling is not right or good, then, you try and think of a way to erase this feeling and replace it with another.
Sometimes it is okay to go with your feelings, but sometimes, it is not.
Start thinking of ways that you can improve your situation.
Then, you might feel better about yourself because you took a bad situation and made it good.
Think of how you would want your friend to react toward you.
Then, react that way.
It may feel fake at first, but after time, you will start to honestly feel that way.
2007-01-28 21:53:39 · answer #2 · answered by JAN W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like this a lot too, it's perfectly normal to feel that way. I've learned it's just a jealousy/insecurity thing. You need to try really hard to celebrate the good things that go on in your friends' lives as well as your own, because otherwise people will think you're selfish, which would not be good.
2007-01-28 21:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad person. This is very normal. But it is also very selfish thinking. I want the best for those i love. I never want them to hurt. Learning to think that way is part of growing up. Thinking of someone else's well being instead of your own for a change. You have noticed that you do it, so it is obvious that you are not comfortable with this attitude. That is the starting point to moving beyond thinking like that. Congratulations.. you are becoming more mature.
2007-01-28 21:54:32 · answer #4 · answered by AMoRous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably not a bad person, but it probably causes a strain on your relationships. I actually had a boss like that, which caused a lot of heartache for me because she would take her anger and jealousy out on me!
Maybe if you put yourself in your friend's position and thought about how you would feel if those good things happened to you. Then you would want them to be happy for you, right?
2007-01-28 21:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by ladybug_jane22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear there is nothing wrong with you the Bible speaks of this very thing in the book of Sirach in the Catholic Bible....
It is human nature to be envious, covetous. It's all in your mind. You have blessings too! just take a moment and count them. If you don't have everything that you want right now...don't worry , it's coming...
Be happy for your friends...be happy that you HAVE friends! Be happy that you are alive !
2007-01-28 21:51:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mee-OW =^..^= 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a jealousy thing. Just remember that for all the good times your friends have, they have bad times too. At least you realize you feel like this and want to change, now it's easier to.
2007-01-28 21:46:34 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good on you for recognising this bad trait of yours.
It is ugly, egocentric behaveour but it's big of you to confront it. You have already taken the first step to becoming a better person. Keep at it. Good luck.
2007-01-28 21:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by ZZ9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's normal. Just don't compare yourself to other people, you have your life to live - not yours and someone else's. Your friends have bad times too, I'm sure.
2007-01-28 21:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by Christy J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah nothing's wrong with you; the green-eyed monster is a common companion.
2007-01-28 21:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋