A romantic problem- please read.?

Question

Well, this is a reasonably long question, but I'll keep it as short as possible.

I think that I love my best friend, basically. And, after having a few drinks, I told him so. Unfortunately, he loves someone else, his girlfriend. I guess htis doens't sound unfamilar, yet I've still been stupid enough to fall into a situation we've all heard of.

Well, he told me he couldn't feel the same way about me (he *can't*, because he's not gay), though wished me all the best for the future and finding someone else. He said that he wants us to act like nothing's different (and we were really good friends before I starting feeling this way about him), and so do I- desperately. But I don't know how to do so. I don't know how to act near him, what to say to him, and because he's quite physically affetcionate (shoulder-holding, hand-shaking, all in a quite straight way, you understand) whether I should still act that way towards him, or whether he'll feel arkward.

Well, thanks for reading

Answer 1

i wouldn't worry too much about him feeling awkward as he seems to be very open minded and handled the situation very well.

He seems like a really nice person and a good friend to you so if i where you i would just carry on as normal and when you feel awkward just ignore it as much as possible and act as normal as you can, even if you don't know what to say just keep trying as I'm sure he will understand how you are feeling at the moment.

The more time you spend with him acting normal the more it will go back to the way it was and you will soon forget about the awkwardness. Keep the affection low key for a while if thats easier and think of what you have always had in common, what you used to talk about and laugh about and talk about these things.

You could maybe keep your distance for a short while to clear your head and think a little about whats happening. But if you become distant for long i think that the awkwardness will grow and it may be harder for you to just go back to the original friendship you had, which would be a shame.

You should also definitely try and put yourself out there a bit and find someone Else that can love you in return! there are plenty of fish in the sea as they say, so just get out there and have some fun. A bit of a fling may do some good! to get your mind off how your feeling and I'm sure you will find your perfect match when the time comes.

Answer 2

I don't know if i'm right to give advice here because im not gay but i've been in almost the same situation i developed strong feelings for a friend of mine that were not returned. The frustration and jealousey had me awake night after night i would see her everyday and it would get worse but after a long time i started to hate her for making me feel that way. This is not really advice but it's not a good way to go. Best remedy is to try to meet new people feeling's are hard to ignore but they can be replaced.

p.s. sorry bout the over long answer :)

Answer 3

I think that you had to tell him how you were feeling because it was burning you up inside.And he responded better than most people would when you told him.Hes glad to put it behind you both and carry on being the best of mates with you its going to feel very uncomfortable for a while between you and you don't now how to act around him i.e(touchy feeley)But i would say carry on as normal you will be able to tell if he is uncomfortable with you as he may pull away from you and keep touching to a minimum.May i also say how brave you because he sounds like a really cool mate and you could of ruined your beautiful friendship.

Answer 4

You are going to go up to him and say the following words, "Will you please help me to get my bearings with you again?" And then you are going to flash that prize-winning, retiring smile of yours that always gets you what you want, and he will be putty in your hands and you will have your best friendship back good as new. Trust me, it will work. Hey - it beats him pitying you. Be just aggressive enough to reinstate your genuine friendship from before. If it were the real item in the first place there should be no difficulty in dusting it off and enjoying it with him once again. You both know each other that well by now. No posturing, now. Just go for a genuine friendship and a genuine friendship you shall both have again.

Answer 5

if you act differently it will destroy you rfriendship because your both going to be wondering what the other is thinking act like nothing happened and try to understand that you cant be with him as hard as it may be, wud you rather have him as a stranger or a friend boyfriend come and go but friends stay no matter what and it looks like he wants to stay with you as a friend not many people wud be so openhearted about the situation but he is so back off feelings wise and stick to being a mate no matter how awkward you feel

gud luk wit it

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Well it depends on how intimate u get with people around u. If u r a person of warm nature...like handshaking hugs etc.. be normal and casual with this guy too. Atleast respect this man who could have lied to you and enjoyed one night stand or may be many nights stand without ever marrying u. you dont often come around and meet such good people.

Answer 8

For your own sake stop being physical with him and he should stop too, especially after your confession to him. If he continues, say that it makes you feel uncomfortable. He should know why.

The odd thing is that in my experience guys are not that physical with each other.

Anyway start dating and take your mind off of him. If he doesn't love you, there is nothing that you can do but move on.

Answer 9

I suppose you just have to carry on as though you never told him, I don't imagine for 1 second that this will be easy but if you value his friendship then you don't really have any other choice, he has made his position quite clear, try and move on and find someone who will love you for who you are.

Answer 10

Well at least he now knows how you feel. But just keep it as friends and don't assume anything more than that will happen. He'll let you know if there is.