my father in law stands at the door and watched my five year old little girl use the bathroom? i addressed it with him and so did my hubby. he said he wants to make sure she is ok but she requires no assistance. what to do next!
2007-01-28 13:20:57 · 24 answers · asked by nakita 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
i have caught him doing this and i told him not to do this anymore but i guess while he is watching her he does it. (he won't be watching her anymore)!
2007-01-28 13:22:21 · update #1
she is afraid to shut the door completely but he could be in the living room and as soon as she goes into the bathroom he is there! my hubby is know as get away on polls. he is pissed.
2007-01-28 13:34:30 · update #2
tell him to stop it or you will report him for sexual abuse
2007-01-28 13:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
you need to teach your daughter to close the door - but not lock it. If your father-in-law insists that the door must be opened you know you have a problem.
Also what's wrong with telling him if your daughter needs assistance, she knows to call YOU and wouldn't call him anyway.
My daughter's wouldn't have thought about calling either of their grandfathers to assist them in the bathroom.
If your husband has siblings who also have daughters, ask them if they have had similar incidents when grandpa is around.
per your additional details
If your daughter is afraid to close the door completely. Try to wean her in the same way you would for any habit. Tell her to come to either you or your husband at ANYTIME (no sense in giving attention to the times whe grandpa is there). Tell her to close the door alittle bit each time and that you will be standing right there if she needs to call. 1/2 way through her duty, call softly to her "i'm right here", but don't go in or touch the door. Ask her to close the door alittle bit more each time and stand just around the corner etc etc. until the door is completely closed. Offer her a small gift for her accomplishment (bravery) when the door is completely shut every time, and she has no issues. - you can take her to the dollar store or whatever.
Then begin to work on the lock - you can go in the first time, with her and lock the door, letting her know that it's perfectly safe. Then try it without being in the room after thoroughly explaining to her how to operate the lock. If she is nervous about it, just be patient - she will get it - especially if an award for bravery is in the future. She understands time now, so make it so that she gets her reward after locking and unlocking the door successfully over 5 sleeps. And make it clear that she must continue to keep it up. She'll eventually get that there's nothing to be afraid of.
I'm glad your hubby is upset - it shows great support and he needs to deal with his dad in a sensitive manner - but not in front of your daughter as you probably already know.
Blessings dear - I know this is an extremely stressful situation
2007-01-28 21:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would make sure he is never alone with her. Have her close and lock the door if possible and have her tell your father in law that she needs privacy. My own father in law has Never stood in the bathroom doorway and watched his 2 granddaughters go to the bathroom. I would tell him if you are told he has done it again you will report him to the police.
2007-01-28 21:28:35 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Legally there no crime. But I trust your instincts and because you have escalated and he is still doing it there may be problem.
If you child is hurt it will be terrible for her and for her future husband. Don't let this happen. So you have to watch her now and look for a way out if he lives in the house. But be discreet if you are wrong you can do a lot of harm.
2007-01-28 21:28:16 · answer #4 · answered by Ron H 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is VERY wrong, sounds like something needs to be done, and I agree with what the others have said, DON'T let your daughter be alone with your father in law.
2007-01-28 21:31:18 · answer #5 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness. Weird. I don't know if you can say anything, Especially because you already did. If he's a true pedophile, he wouldn't be doing it in front of you, but instead would be hiding it. It's still creepy though since you've already addressed it and he continues.
My advice: Do not leave him alone with her.
2007-01-28 21:26:00 · answer #6 · answered by deedee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When in doubt with the safety of your children, err on the side of caution. Do not let him watch her, do not let him be alone with her and talk to others in your family about this. You may want to talk to your daughter or try a therapist to find out if anything may have happened.
2007-01-28 21:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by Shelley 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is not normal!
You and your husband have to make sure that your little girl is safe around her Grand Father. If you doubt in any way that he is OK around her (or any other Children) Get Her and Them AWAY!!
2007-01-28 21:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by LN has3 zjc 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god no way. Something is very WRONG!!!!!!!!
Get him away from your little girl. You or your husband
should be the ONLY people around your little girl. When ever
she is in a private place.
2007-01-28 21:35:06 · answer #9 · answered by timbudd60 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No this is definitely not normal...trust your instincts. I know this can be hard because it's your husband's father so try to find a tactful way to end this. Good luck...
2007-01-28 23:40:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to put your foot down and set the rules. If he doesn't follow them, tell your Father In Law that he is no longer welcome around your daughter if he cannot respect your wishes when it concerns YOUR child.
2007-01-28 21:28:11 · answer #11 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋