I don't know how I should feel about this...?

Question

My real dad (whom I rarely speak to) has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My mom says theres nothing wrong with him, and he just needs to grow up. My dad told my aunt that this disorder was the reason he's acted the way he has. Does anyone out there have this disorder and maybe some advice on how to handle this? I'm trying to invite him to my high school graduation in six months. Is this a bad idea to ask him?

Answer 1

Bipolar disorder is characterized as extreme highs and lows. see this site for more info on it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder
It could explain his strange behavior. My mom has it and she no showed at my wedding for no apparent reason and still doesn't think she did anything wrong. Love your dad for who he is, you only get one dad, good bad or indifferent. Invite him to your graduation but be prepared if he doesn't come. He loves you I am sure even if he is not good at showing it becasue of his disorder. Best of luck.

Answer 2

Hello.........I am sorry to hear that your mom has such a negative attitude about your dad. When she knew him and they were together, he probably said and did many things that she did not understand. Just remember that he is not a bad person, he has a bad disease. The bipolar person often times does not know why they act the way they do, and your mom probably had to deal with a lot, trying to love someone who acted the way he did. Your mom is not a bad person for believing that he just needs to "grow up", she just isn't informed enough about your dad's illness. The pain she endured during her relationship with him is something that she doesn't want you to go through, and most likely the reason she is discouraging you from having a relationship with him now. People with bipolar can and do, with the proper treatment, live normal, productive lives. It often takes quite some time for the doctors to come up with just the right mix of medications and therapies that work. Every case is different, but if your dad has committed himself to getting the help he needs and is following through with what his doctors have recommended, there should be no problem with inviting him to your graduation. If you have a chance to develop more of a relationship with him, by all means, do so. However, do not do this behind your mother's back. She has already expressed her opinion about this, and until she sees proof that your dad is getting the help he needs, in her mind's eye she will only remember the "old dad" I would suggest that you start out slowly, by writing him a letter or making a phone call. If he has a true desire to have you in his life and is well enough to do so, to be a real father to you, both you and your mom will need to make this determination. If he is in the early phases of dealing with his diagnosis, and is still trying to find just the right treatment, he may not be ready for a full-fledged relationship with you. If your mom bears any resentment towards him, and makes this clear to him, this may have a negative effect on his progress as well. Stress has a huge effect on the bipolar person, that's why it is so important for you to start out slowly. Be straightforward with your mom about what you want, and gather all of the information you can about your dad's illness so that you can make reasonably informed choices on how to proceed from this point. It can be overwhelming for everyone involved, but when you see your dad smiling down at you at your graduation, you will be glad that you made the effort. And, if your mom sees the changes that he has made in his life, I think that she will be happy for you as well. Good luck to you and take care......

Answer 3

Bipolar is what used to be called manic depressive disorder. Your dad swings from one emotional extreme to another in just seconds and usually unexpectedly. There are medications that can help control the emotional roller coaster, but most bipolar people stop taking them when they are in a manic state because they don't feel they need them. It is a tough disorder to live with. But I think he would like to be at your graduation. It is not a bad idea unless he isn't getting help for his condition.

Answer 4

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, and ability to function. Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But there is good news: bipolar disorder can be treated, and people with this illness can lead full and productive lives.

try to asked him when he is in good mood

Answer 5

Your mother is in denial and clearly knows nothing about Bipolar Disorder. "Bipolar Disorder For Dummies" is a wonderful book that explains everything you will ever need to know about this serious condition. I agree you should talk to him about the possibility of going to your graduation. If he is getting proper treatment, it shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 6

bipolar is a disease that affects the whole family. Medication CONTROLS the severity of mood swings, it doesn't cure them, and it may take him awhile to find one that works for him.

I would tell him that you would like for him to attend your graduation because it is a special day for you. However, you need him to be responsible and on his medication for several months before you agree to him being at a social function like your graduation. I would also tell him that you understand that this is a difficult situation and if he doesn't feel like he can make your graduation ceremony that maybe you both could do something special together at a later time. If I were you I would recommend counseling for both of you to your father. It lets him know you are serious about being there for him and will show you how dedicated he is about helping himself.

Answer 7

Definitely seek info on this horrible disease. See if he is on and taking his meds as well as seeing a therapist. If you want him @ your high school graduation, ask him but be fair with his answer. I'm sure that he's doing his best but if he's not ready- or uncomfortable for some reason, understand. It will probably be hard enough with your mother there for him.
I know several people with this disorder, including myself.

Answer 8

Bi-polar disorder is a very real diagnosis and can only be treated with medications. The problem is that most bi-polars will stop taking their meds when they feel better thinking they are 'cured'. Constant and ongoing meds is the only way to control the physical and behavioral problems associated with bi-polar disorder Have a talk with your dad, if he wants to come to your graduation, make it clear that you expect him to be on his meds AND his very best behavior. Hopefully you can have this conversation with him during a calm period between the depression and mania.

Answer 9

Since your have access to a computer, go to google or ask and type in Bipolar and read what you get. Then ask someone like a teacher or the nurse at school that does not have a biased opinion. Good luck and congratulations on your graduation. Keep going.........

Answer 10

If your Dad knows he has this disorder and is being treated for it, why not invite him? You can look online for all sorts of information about bi-polar disorder. It's not easy dealing with someone who has this, but the more you know, the better off you will be in your relationship with him. godloveya.