Baby to bed with bottle?

Question

Ok..My husband and I am in a very fusterating situation. We live with my in-laws and they are constantly going against our wishes to putting our 1 year son to bed with a bottle. I thought that was bad for a child. My son throws a horrendous fit at night and screams at the top of his lungs until they finally get up and go give him a bottle after I have fed him, and changed his diaper to put him to bed. Every time he fusses just the slightest bit they will either give him a bottle or take him out of bed. They have him to the point that he throws a fit to get his way, not just at night, but even during the day. Our son has turned into a spoiled monster! My husband and I can't afford our place at this time because we are only in our young twenties and are still in college full time with part time jobs. We constantly are yelling at his parents to stop doing what they are doing, bit they don't listen...HELP!!

Answer 1

DO NOT PUT YOUR BABY TO BED WITH A BOTTLE! It's awful for their teeth. My son actually had "baby bottle mouth" and had 8 cavities at 2! It's not fun and you don't want to do that. If you can't find any other solution, give him water ONLY in a bottle. That won't hurt his teeth. Sounds like a frustrating situation!

Answer 2

I am so sorry that all of this is happening. Living with your parents in never easy and especially with children because the most parents want to undermine what you do.

You are right not to put your baby to bed with a bottle. It will drain down into the ear and cause bad ear infections. You must not allow your parents to do this.

Here is how to break the habit, it will be long and exhausting but you will be glad you did it.

Go be in your babies room while he is going to sleep. Put him in his bed and sit beside it and let him know that you are there. Play with him a bit with stuffed animals and what have you. If your baby is under a year a passy might help. Help your baby get to sleep by patting for the time being or rubbing which ever he likes, and as it begins to work do it a little less each night. Do not give in and give the bottle to the baby. This is just not good.

When your baby is going to sleep with very little patting then stop moving your hand but place your hand on him. then eventually start moving you hand away. Now move away from the bed but stay in there.

Now you are just going to stand near the door and eventually work your way out in of the room.

Another method would be to just put the baby in the room and just go and check on him ever ten to fifteen minutes. He will adjust to not having the bottle it will just take a little time.

Tell your parents that you must do this for your babies sake. They can help with bed time but if they are going to go against your wishes then they are not aloud to help with bed time. Same goes with daytime naps. Going to bed with the bottle will cause tooth decay when the teeth start coming in and it will cause bad ear infections because the milk or what ever will drip into the ear. Their little ears are shaped differently than ours.

If you have to stand between your parents and the child do this, you must gain control here. Just because this is their house does not give them the right to rule your roost. Do what you need to do. If the child is in their room then move it out, because this is not good either.

Well I guess that is all I hope that I have helped. I know you love your parents, you just need to have things your way on this and that is OK you are the mother and father.

Answer 3

Ohhhh this is tough. I have sooo been there. I lived at my in laws and my husbands mother used to stand in front of my daughters door at night because I was letting her "cry it out" to solve her sleep issues. (she was over a year old) Anyway, I would lay down the law and fast. Have a talk with your husband. MAke sure you 2 are on the same page. You do need to becareful how you approach the situation, Yet, still need to have a firm and nonnegotiable attitude. This is your baby and they may have their thoughts and oppinions on raising. But let them know that you have your own parenting ideas and tell them nicely that they need to keep their oppinions to themselves unless asked for. Are you not home workin/ in school during the babies nap times or bedtimes and thats why they can put her to bed the way they want? And just to let you know...there really isn't anything wrong with putting your son to bed with a bottle. Its frowned upon because of the toothdecay aspect. But I say if they need it, there really isn't any harm in it. But that is ENTIRELY up to you to decide. Not them. If you say no bottle then they need to respect that. You will have to put your foot down.

Answer 4

Call the pediatrician and explain the situation. Then, arrange for the baby's next checkup to be at a time when THEY have to take your son in because you and your hubby are both in school or something... Having the pediatrician tell them this info might go over better than YOU telling them.

Also, nothing's stopping you from going right in behind them and taking that bottle back away from the baby. Won't be fun, probably cause some arguments, but this is your baby's HEALTH we are talking about - and that trumps everyone's convenience.

Answer 5

ALL of the baby books I have ever read say not to go to bed with a bottle. If you can spare a few minutes, go to the library and copy the pages out of several baby books and show them. Also, try Dr. Phil.com. He just had a show last week that talked about babies.

At one year old, you need to start getting off the bottle entirely and just go to sippy cups.

I can't imagine living with the parents -- my parents baby my daughter and won't let her cry either. I know they weren't that lenient when I was little!

Answer 6

As a grandmother, I have been guilty of the same thing. It has to do with finally getting a full night's sleep and suddenly it's back to being awakened by a baby. I was excellent in my 30's at training my kids of no bottle, but when my granddaughter came to live with me, I found myself being selfish enough to want a decent sleep and I would give her the bottle.

You're in a tough spot and so are they. They know what they're doing is wrong and yet they're exhausted and older.

Answer 7

I would try to have a sit down conversation with your in laws. Let them know that you are the parents, and that you do not like all the things that you don't like. That is your son, and you and your husband is the one who has every right to raise him the way you want. Putting him to bed with a bottle is not bad for him in the sense of healthiness, just in habits. I wish I could give you more advice.

Answer 8

there always comes a cost when people help you out. It does not matter if it is a bottle or titty cup neither should go to bed with a child unless it has water in it. Try to make a compromise and try to stop the yelling these people are trying to help you. For if you where my son's g/f or wife I would not put with it and ask you to leave. Be careful not to cut your noise off in spite of your face.

Answer 9

actually yes everyone says that, also peds, but its not true , not every baby is the same, and both my daughters drank a bottle in bed and i had no problems, with there teeth being rotten or ear infections, They never had any cavities at age 2 or till now they still dont. So not every child is the same.,

Answer 10

I don't know whether your in laws have seen pictures of childrens rotten teeth as a result of being put to bed with a bottle, its apparently due to our bodies not producing as much saliva at night, so the teeth are not as protected at night time especially if they fall asleep mid suck! Maybe you could offer them the rights to the dentistry bill when your little one has rotten teeth, seeing they want the right to override your judgement as a parent?