just finished divorce 5 mons ago.i have a 8yr old son that i have joint custody with my exwife with and i have him half the time.i pay her 15% of what i make(child support) on top of that i pay most(80/20) of daycare cost and healthcare.now this is what the court ordered and i don't have a problem paying this.the problem is my ex with try to guilt me into paying for other stuff like sport stuff,swimming lessons,camp fees ect.now i'm not rich and having a hard time just paying for the child support.when i have my son i buy him clothes,toys ect for my house but i feel that the other stuff should come out of the child support i pay her.please this is all new am i wrong in my thinking?should i also chip in for sport fees,school trips,camps even though i pay child support?
2007-01-28 12:21:44 · 10 answers · asked by jerry6mckenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Set limits and priorities. Ask your son what he wants most to do as extracurricular activities go. For example, there is no reason for him go play soccer if he does not really enjoy doing so. And ,pay only for what you can comfortably afford.
2007-01-28 12:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by Ti 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see choosing one thing like a sport or camp fees, but to have so many extra activities is a bit much. Is she trying to keep him so busy she doesn't have to take care of him. If not ordered by the court suggest to her that she should let him choose which activity he wants to be in and help pay for that only. All the support you pay is enough for his welfare. Sounds like she wants to bleed you dry.
2007-01-28 12:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a divorced dad myself, while it is nice to help support the child's endeavors, that is what you pay support for.
Something else to ponder, if you are too generous, she can take you to court and get more support because you have demonstrated that you are able to peovide more. In essence it's a two edged sword.
As cold as this may sound, it's business now. Tend to your business. It's hard to think of it in these terms because people are involved, specifically your child and you want to be a good dad, but it is business now.
In short, you are thinking correct.
2007-01-28 12:30:48 · answer #3 · answered by Curious 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong you pay child support for your son and that goes towards helping him with food, a place to live,and extra things you mentioned like swimming lessons. I think your doing a good job in paying what you do, you can't pay for everything. Your ex-wife needs to realize that and appreciate what you do pay for and be thankful you care enough to pay.
2007-01-28 16:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre thinking in the right direction.
your doing all you can do right now, and its wrong for what shes asking you to do. let her pay full for the swimming lessons, sports stuff, camp, ect. its not your job to do EVERYTHING, you're already doing what you should be doing.
if anything, it should be HER that needs to do something. so far it just sounds like shes bumming off of your pay for your child, and spending her cash on herself. which, i would bring to court...
2007-01-28 12:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wondering why you have to pay her anything since you apparently have joint custody? I have a friend who has been in this situation for several years; that is, he has the 2 girls one week and she has them one week and noboby pays.
No, you should not give her any more money.
2007-01-28 15:36:07 · answer #6 · answered by shendley04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am new to divorce also, and I have also pondered this. I think that your child support should cover these expenses also. Good luck.
2007-01-28 12:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by Chelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are one hundred percent right! I mean after all she helped make your son too! It's just as much her responsibility to support him as it is yours.
2007-01-28 12:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by swt-bby-gl-69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, i agree, since u re not rich; so u re not obliged to pay for him wat u can not, u shuld explain that too to the court. and ur ex . u shuld talk to her . take care.
2007-01-28 12:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by gentle whisper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give child up for adoption
2007-01-28 12:43:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋