She was over at my sister's house this weekend and the feed back was not good. When she doesn't get her way about something is when she is the worse. I even seen her act out in church. I'm her step mother and she has lived with me for 5 years now. Her "birth mother" chose to move away when she was young and she doesn't see her much. Could this be away of asking for some kind if emotion help from us? Her sister also lives with me and she doesn't act like this. Her sister is 8 now. She has been doing this since I've known her and her father said she has always been like this. Will she grow out of it? From the way it looks she is only getting worse. We try to be so positive. I've tried talking with her one on one. I'll keep praying, just wondering if there were others with this same issue out there and what you did to help. Thanks...
2007-01-28 12:17:30 · 18 answers · asked by Animal_lover 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Step-children are special! We love someone "so much" that we will accept everything they bring into the relationship! Right? Till we live with them! And their snotty kids! It takes a "special" person to be a Step-parent, A desire to love and understand all, or most! Hardest job in the world! Good luck!
2007-01-28 12:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by DORY 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it could definitely get worse when the hormones kick in during the beginning of puberty. You think it's bad now, honey, just wait! So it's a good thing you are ready to do some things now before her attitude and behavior gets worse in the teen years. She will need structure and rules to follow in regards to respecting you and others in the family. That is something that you need to stay firm about. Learn to communicate with her on her level. Spend a lot of time listening to her and don't put down the way she feels. If she hates everything and everybody some days, just listen. In time, you might be able to discern if it is something deep inside that is bothering her or if it is clinical depression from a physical cause, like a chemical imbalance. She will need some discipline along the way, and just try to be fair and be firm. Try not to ever give up, and expect a roller-coaster ride through her teen years. Hopefully though, she will be okay eventually and she will grow into a more positive young woman through your prayers and love for her.
2007-01-28 12:31:00 · answer #2 · answered by TPhi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's pushing the envelope with you to see how far she can go, see how much control she can exert.
You need to start firmly disciplining her NOW, before she can allow her bad attitude to develop into a much deeper set of sociopathic problems.
And I do feel that a good spanking, followed by an appropriate punishment, can work wonders.
There comes a time when you have to stop trying to be the child's friend, and start being the child's parent. If you're worried about hurting the child's feelings, that's kind of the point of punishment and discipline.
Children don't learn respect for others because it's the RIGHT THING, they learn it first through fear. Fear of reprisals from the parent. Only later, as they start to develop a stronger sense of self and start acquiring more responsibility and more posessions, as well as more status in society, does it sink in that respect is based, for adults, not in fear but in MUTUAL RESPECT. They learn that it's no fun when someone hurts their feelings, and so (if they are a normal, average person) they allow a certain amount of empathy to guide their actions toward others. Because they don't like being hurt, they are less likely to hurt others, if they desire respect.
This kid needs some STRONG discipline NOW, otherwise you may never reach her.
2007-01-28 12:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Praying is great, prayer is also a action word, ask God for guidance. this little girl is hurt and trying to take it out on the rest of the world. It must really hurt for her mother not to be a full time mother in her life. Step Mom is not the same so don't be offended. Encourage a relationship with the mother and tell the mother what she is going on. Even if ya''ll half to drive half way to drop and pick the girl up. If that is not possible, allow her to vent, don't allow her to continue to act like this it will ruin her whole life. Also teach her to vocalize her emotions, instead of negative actions
2007-01-28 12:26:39 · answer #4 · answered by sodgirl6763 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a SD who is now 13. She is a real pain as well, and her mother is a small part of her life. (Lives out of state) I have been in the picture since she was 8, and she has always behaved badly. The behavior has just evolved with age unfortunately. She uses the mother absence as a crutch. My suggestion to you is to join a step mom support group. Yahoo or MSN. The ladies there will be better equipped to answer your questions.
2007-01-28 12:26:38 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are trying your best to be a supportive mother to this girl. Yes, keep praying, but also seek some counseling for the child. She is old enough to remember her mother and is probably suffering abandonment issues which have very little to do with you. Family counseling sounds in order. Please get professional assistance. Many pastors mean well, but do not have professional training.
2007-01-28 12:24:20 · answer #6 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids want discipline. They want you to love them enough to make them do the right thing. I have a 12yo-almost-step-daughter. One weekend I was really aggravated because she was putting her feet (muddy sneakers) all over my wall (she is a dancer and couldn't keep both feet on the floor at the same time with glue). But I kept my mouth shut. Later, I was adding wood to the fire and a few ashes came out and she goes "Oh no, I just swept that!!" (Not that I knew of but anyway......) So I snapped back, "Oh well, I just cleaned that wall." (She had muddied it the last weekend also.) After an exchange of "What wall?" "The one you put you shoes all over." She cries out "Why didnt you tell me to stop?!?!?" She wanted to be stopped!!
Most likely your stepdaughter wants to be stopped also.
2007-01-28 12:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by imjustasteph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like attention getting tactic. Since dad said it has always been like this, doubtful she will outgrow it. It will get worse as she gets older. God only knows what a 15-18 yr. old is capable of doing to draw attention. I would seek counseling immediately for her. Singly and as a family both. Definitely emotional problem. I will pray for you too. Good Luck
2007-01-28 12:24:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take the computer out of his room and set it up in a important area of the abode clone of the front room and placed filters on it so he won't be able to get into pron etc. If he has a television in hose room, take that out of there too. He can in user-friendly words watch television interior the front room and in user-friendly words once you're saying. particular organizations can get channels blocked as well. you may also get a gadget which will without delay close the television at the same time as time runs out and he won't be able to turn it decrease back on except he has the code If he performs violent age irrelevant video games, take them away make effective your mom follows an same regulations as you so he won't be able to smash out with undesirable habit. If he does some thing that breaks your regulations, get rid of privileges. Like no television, no video games, no computer etc. As for the cousin, feels like a terrible impact and that is the position various the habit is coming type. I agree without longer allowing your infant to bypass over there to sleep. in reality i does no longer enable him over there in any respect. The cousin might want to ought to go back to my abode and obey my regulations or go away. once you position the regulations, stand by technique of them. do not enable him smash out with breaking them and throwing a tantrum over it. placed your foot down.
2016-12-03 04:15:45 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her into counseling! That's one huge emotional scar, your mother not wanting you. This will make some children act out. The counselor will be able to help you both much more than any of us could.
2007-01-28 12:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋